Lesbian-Health Books

Others have already described the book well. I just want to add my two cents. This account and The Last Watch of the Night are so tender and honest that I miss these men I've never met.

"I don't know if I will live to finish this," begins this memoir by Paul Monette, who would ultimately live only seven years after he did complete it (and, auspiciously, several other works). Monette's account is a chronicle of the last days of his lover Roger Horwitz in 1985 and 1986: a mere nineteen months between diagnosis and death. It's an emotionally devastating portrait; yet, far from wallowing in his grief (although grieve he does), Monette instead describes this period as a battle to extend Roger's life and a determination to seize every remaining day and make the most of it.

An AIDS diagnosis in 1985, in Los Angeles, doomed the couple to an unwanted pioneer status; it was a "death sentence" mitigated only by hope and delusion. For the first half of the decade, Paul and Roger comforted themselves with the notion that the disease, whatever it was, confined itself to a certain group of fast-living libertines ("not us") in San Francisco and Los Angeles. When the reality hit home, the initial method of coping, shared to different degrees by themselves and by their friends (and particularly by Roger's brother), was a mixture of mortification and denial.

Once Roger became ill, however, the couple fought tooth and nail to pursue every potential pharmaceutical elixir or therapeutic panacea; they were on the vanguard of trials for suramin (with devastating side effects) and for the more successful "Compound S" (AZT), which Monette credits for extending Roger's life. Throughout, they struggled to present a united front of normalcy and optimism, with Roger attempting to practice law from his hospital bed and Paul flying to New York for meetings in the Russian Tea Room with the newly famous Whoopi Goldberg about an ultimately doomed screenplay ("it must've dismayed her considerably to think that this humorless man sipping broth and Coca-Cola was meant to be her breakthrough into feature comedy").

Still, if it's possible to say that one can be "fortunate" in such circumstances, Roger and Paul had the only advantages available at the time: money, connections, and (mostly) supportive family and friends. In spite of the sequence of crises and disappointments, they somehow managed to find time to laugh and to love amidst the anger and the betrayals; Monette's wit and fair-mindedness saves this work from overwhelming the reader with morbid pity and depression. Paul and Roger were often too busy chasing hope to pause and wallow; those moments were often saved for the morning. ("Waking teaches you pain.") What's most remarkable about this book is not the riveting and livid account from the front of the epidemic--such memoirs are plentiful--but the lyrical and even humorous appreciation of the "borrowed time" remaining to these two admirable profiles in courage.

'Borrowed Time' is the most unpretentious, cliche free account of love I've read. So much of it's power lies in what Paul does not say about his lover: describing him most often as his most precious 'friend' he asks the reader to understand, to implicitly know the strength of his passion. The simple assumption that readers across cities, countries, cultures will understand his emotions is what gives the story so much beauty. I fell in love with both Paul and Roger, or more specifically, the strength of what they had together.
The battle against AIDS and discrimination faced by both men made me bawl, and I hope this book is read by people working through their prejudices and moral judgements about the both the illness and its prevalence in the gay community at the time the events occurred. Surely Paul and Roger's love can only be seen as something beautiful that graced the earth, even briefly.

Although I am a conservative Christian who has never been "homophobic", I have been 100 percent guilty of "indifference" to what it really means to be gay and and the AIDS issue. Not any more. I began to research the issues and I have been telling everyone about this book. The genuine love story and respectful relationship that Paul and Roger shared is something everyone could learn from. I don't believe I have ever read a book that portrays such courage. The pain that both of these men endured would make the average person collapse under the weight. I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, but I believe that Jesus himself would just wants us stop judging and comdemning and to simply love one another as he loves us. All of us.

I don't know how this book didn't win every award the publishing world has to offer. Quite simply, this one volume is the most emotionally devastating work I've ever read. I've read about hate crimes, political assassination and Nazi persecution, but none touch this. Several times I had to set the book down because I was no longer able to read through great, racking sobs and eyes nearly swollen shut. I grieved.

Paul Monette, author of the the award winning memoir "Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story," died of AIDS not too long after losing his beloved companion Roger to the disease. That he was able to focus so much energy on chronicling the events of Roger's death in this memoir, was a mircle - and indeed this book is a miraclous gift. "Borrowed Time" is a story of pain, suffering, hope, strength and courage. However, and more importantly, it is a love story - the greatest I've ever read.

In 12 chapters Rachel Pepper wants to take the future mother through her journey using her own pregnancy and research as a guide. Though "The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians" is obviously geared toward lesbians, does it provide enough information and honesty to be useful to all future mothers?

Chapter 1 looks at all the issues you should think about before having a baby, and I'm not just talking about financial issues but also planning for the physical and emotional changes and arranging for a stable support system for the entire pregnancy and early months of the baby's life. Now, while it is true that some straight women do "discover" they are pregnant, increasing numbers are exercising control and planning a family before they have one. I think the planning steps that Pepper lists are great for all would-be mothers.

Chapter 2 and chapter 3 seemed reversed to me. Chapter 2 is about testing and getting your body ready for a pregnancy. Chapter 3 is about how a lesbian might go about getting the necessary sperm to create a pregnancy. I suppose that it's good to learn whether or not you can get pregnant before you try, and thus some of chapter 2's information makes sense in this order. It just felt off to me when I got to the third chapter.

It always seems when a woman wants to get pregnant that everything goes wrong, and when she doesn't want a baby, surprise! Chapter 4 offers 10 tips to help you cope with the fact that everything in that plan you made will not go smoothly. That fits well with chapter 5, which addresses the real possibility that even if all those tests say you should be able to get pregnant, it might not mean that you will, or that you will carry to full term. Several honest emotional situations are described in this chapter.

The first trimester is discussed in chapter 6. I, for one, was thrilled by the honesty in this chapter. Guess what? It isn't all about glowing from the pregnancies; no, there are some really icky and some very wonderful things that will be happening to the body during this time.

Chapter 7 says that the second trimester will be easier. If that is true, then the next stage of planning needs to happen now, and Pepper offers very real suggestions on what to start changing in your life and starting to think about the birth.

There is a small section on what the non-pregnant partner may be going through, and if there is one thing I'd criticize about this book it is that this partner isn't given enough time. Pepper, like many others, found herself single again some time after the birth of her daughter. Perhaps she's too close to look back and assess what happened, but I think the non-pregnant partner really needs closer attention.

Chapter 8 also spends a bit of time on the non-pregnant partner when it addresses how pregnancy can affect sex. Again, the focus is really on the birth mother here and not on the other person, who may still want or need sexual intimacy. Yes, the non-pregnant partner does need to be supportive, but their desires also require time as well, or they may well look elsewhere.

Chapter 9 considers the massive, pun intended, changes during the third trimester. Pepper once more is excellent at bringing up the honest feelings and frustrations that a pregnant woman might feel. I wonder if some post-partum depression might be lessened if doctors and others could be this honest with all mothers-to-be?

Birth is not like the television version, and Pepper gives us the full score in chapter 10. Yes, each woman and each birth is different, but there are commonalities we need to know about. I liked that the non-pregnant partner was discussed in this chapter, though again I think they require more space in the book overall.

Chapter 11 looks at the first few months after the baby is born. It covers not only the physical and emotional changes but also the realities of trying to adapt to this new very vulnerable person now living with you. Pepper includes a bit on child care, but you'd probably want to take a class, talk to relatives and friends, or read other books to get the full story on how to care for the newborn.

Chapter 12 isn't really a chapter so much as a list of resources. The books are probably still good, but magazines and websites change often. This chapter is complemented by two sample documents. One is a "donor" agreement for the baby's sire, and the other is a chart for keeping track of ovulation.

I think that the raw honesty that Pepper provides in this book is truly wonderful. Often so much information about pregnancy and childbirth is watered down and romanticized or so shrouded in medical jargon that I wonder how women can make an informed choice to have a child. "The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians" gives us a much-needed view of what will happen and what could happen while you are pregnant and during the first few months after birth.

This book helpd my partner and I feel as though we could meet the challenges of lesbian motherhood without losing our minds or our relationship

This is a wonderful book that gives you all the confidence you need to begin to create a family. Helpfull advice is mixed with resource contacts and 'what to expect when you are expecting' pointers. The author writes from experiance and personal trial and error and does a super job of covering all the bases from legal issues to home births!

This book is great!!!! It is a sad world we live in when authors believe that only lesbians are having donor insemination. I bought this book becuase I was desparate for information and the one book I found for straight women gave me no information. This title kept popping up, so I bought it. I am currently on chapter 4 and cannot believe how much information I have already learned. I look forward to reading each page. Rachel Pepper writes with a positive tone, uplifting and funny, while being informative. I have a notebook filled with questions and plans. This is the only prepregnancy book you will need.

I found this book to be especially helpful during the trying-to-conceive and early pregnancy phases. Once my pregnancy was well underway, I relied more heavily upon other resources for more complete pregnancy info. Nevertheless, this book was absolutely indispensable to me during the emotionally challenging process of selecting a donor, using intrauterine insemination, managing medical issues (infertility, health insurance, etc.), and coping with early setbacks. The numerous quotes from others who have "been there" helped to normalize my feelings and experiences, while the author's matter of fact tone demystified the process and helped me know what to expect next. The tips for staying sane while trying were all relevant and useful. I read this book over and over for comfort when my partner and I felt like the only ones who'd ever felt what we were feeling, and for information about choices others have made under similar circumstances. A truly useful, comforting, practical and essential book for any lesbians trying to conceive. Highly recommended!

Many books celebrate being gay, but few offer guidance into particular sexual activities, the physical and emotional health of actors, and some of the challenges many of us gay men encounter. While little or no moral judgments are proffered, healthful preferences are cited vis-a-vis the unhealthful. "Just because we 'can,' does not means we 'should.'"

Without insisting gay is a "lifestyle," it highlights those activities and circumstances often associated with being a gay man, and it discusses them honestly and candidly. No other published book offers such excellent information on such a broad array of issues in an intelligent and "whole earth catalogue" sort of way. I've had occasion to recommend it, and every recipient appreciates the referral.

Until it is surpassed, which seems unlikely, it's the best "handbook" to acceptance, adaptation, adjustment, approval, and analysis of most concerns we gay men face. Very highly recommended.

Do not pass up this one. A comprehensive guide to modern gay life! Covers a range of topics that even surprised me. I guarantee you will learn something from this book as I did.

Men Like Us is the complete guide to a gay man's life. The operative word is COMPLETE. This book had absolutely everything!
From anatomy (and yes, sexual pleasure), to exercise and diet, relationships and intimacy, medical care (which included lengthy passages on HIV), mental health and therapy, and on a deeper note, spirituality and community.
While the book does deal with some hard topics, it never loses it's fun feel. On nearly every page you will find funny, helpful diagrams or cartoons, depicting different aspects being discussed.
While, obviously, this book isn't for everyone (it'd probably give old Grandma a heart attack with it's vivid descriptions of anything from oral pleasuring to the "toys and tools" section) it is just right for that special man in your life. Uncle, brother, nephew, friend, etc.
This is a positive, clever, and helpful guide to gay living. No gay man's library would be complete without it.

It's hard to think of a group that has amassed more information about gay men and their health problems than New York's Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC). Now nearly twenty years old, the group has just published a comprehensive guide to gay male health, Men Like Us: The GMHC Complete Guide to Gay Men's Sexual, Physical and Emotional Well-Being. The result is a snappy, savvy, and indeed almost encyclopedic look at our sexual, physical and emotional health, with common-sense language and lots of information.

Part One of this book is called "Sex Basics." This involves the penis, anal pleasures, mutual masturbation, how to use condoms and so on. Our attention is flagged any time a disease risk is involved. Barely a page goes by that the book doesn't use a sidebar, or a quote from an expert, or testimony from one or another gay men who's been there and done that, which keeps things on a light tone. There's even a self-help guide for

deformalities and abnormalities of the penis and which ones need medical attention (there are actually a couple that don't).

"Body Basics" is Part Two of the book. It introduces the basics of healthy exercise (both the aerobic and the body-builder type), tells how to deal with digestive problems, find a good doctor, investigate alternative health (if you so desire), monitor things like cholesterol and blood pressure, and understand the aging process. The presumed audience is a male in his late thirties or early forties who is just starting to notice that things like cardiac health and abundant vitality can no longer be taken for granted.

Part Three, "Major Medical," has two sections. The first deals with the realities of AIDS in a very sophisiticated yet easy-to-follow format. This section really shines, and here it's worth remembering that the Gay Men's Health Crisis was the first group ever formed to deal with AIDS (before it even was called that). The second section is a very knowledgeable "user's guide" to getting the most out of a hosptial stay.

Part Four has a section on therapy and mental health, one on friendships, and one on spirituality. Of the three, the spirituality section is the weakest because it lumps spiritual and religious topics together and treats them superficially. (Remember, too, this is not GMHC's forte here.) Men Like Us is a great book for any gay owner of a male body who wants to keep it in good shape. And it's wonderful when it comes to the ins and outs of AIDS. The books is probably best suited for someone age 35 or older who lives a relatively "out" gay life and is comfortable finding bias-free resources: a gay or sympathetic doctor, say. Indeed, Men Like Us book seems to make the assumption that its readers have been around the block a time or two, as when it reiterates that the rules for oral hygiene are "the same rules you've heard since you were a little homosexual-in-training." While this would still be a good book for a 22-year-old if only for the safe-sex guidance, it might not be as useful as for someone older.

I can truthfully say that most every question that I had regarding issues ranging from the widest range of topics imaginable were answered in a professional & very informative manner. Some of the topics ranged from "The Anatomy Of Pleasure", "Sex Acts And Facts","Sex Troubles",& much more in chapter one. Through 13 chapters of fact filled up to date info.this encyclopedic book keeps your attention in high gear, gets you thinking about what really matters, and is written in an entertaining manner as well. This all-inclusive "COMPLETE GUIDE TO GAY MEN'S SEXUAL, PHYSICAL, AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING" is a must read, and a great reference I refer to very often. If there is one book on gay men's info. this is the ONE!!!

Written in 1998, and criticized for stopping its retelling of the abortion story in the U.S. several years before that, Articles of Faith is nevertheless still an important book and may be increasingly so if the abortion debate heats up again now that George W. Bush is President. A completely even handed retelling of the history of the abortion debate in the U.S. from the 1960's through the 1990's told through the lives of dedicated partisans of both sides. Yet the author tells this story with sympathy to both sides. Its hard to read this book, your emotions swing from side to side in the debate as Gorney shifts her focus from chapter to chapter from pro choice to pro life. Each side is presented forcefully, but not stridently. Its an excellent book.

As an adult convert to Catholicism struggling for now five years with infertility, a non-American and the daughter of a founder of my hometown's Family Planning Association, I ordered this book wondering if it would help me sort out my mixed feelings about abortion. When it arrived my heart sank: though I had been interested in the topic, it looked long enough to remind me of the first-grader's book report, ``This told me more than I wanted to know about penguins.'' But it's so well-written, well-peopled and thoughtful it's a joy to read. When Cynthia Gorney describes a pro-choice activist she does it so carefully you feel certain she's pro-choice, and certain you must be. But when she describes a pro-life activist, you realize she might be pro-life -- and so might you be. If we were all be so generous and balanced, so readily able to enter into the subtleties of other people's positions, abortion might never have become a ``war.''

This book was wonderful. Though on first glance it seems very long and likely dense and dry, it is anything but. Gorney does a fabulous job of presenting both sides of abortion evenly and without bias. And she ties in the thoughts and feelings of the players with the actual battles of the day so smoothly that the book ends up being an easy and very enjoyable read. It should be mandatory reading for anyone involved in, interested in or having an opinion about abortion.

Before Roe vs. Wade thousands of women a year were getting illegal, unsanitary and oftentimes dangerous abortions. Articles of Faith does a great job of presenting both sides of the abortion argument. The book focuses on the abortion wars in Missouri. It starts in the 60's with Judith Widdicombe, who is an obstetrics nurse and who had an abortion herself. She is a key figure in the underground abortion world in St. Louis. She recruits doctors and she directs women to doctors. Her opinions on abortion are formed from personal experience as well as occupational experience. She was strong in her opinions that a baby and a fetus were different. She had seen hospital beds full of women dying of infection from getting illegal abortions. This led her to her calling.
While Judy was directing women to safer but still illegal abortions, the laws state by state were slowly starting to break down. This created a movement of concerned citizens who were against abortion. These citizens would give presentations using medical and scientific information to support their position that life begins at creation. As to drive their point home, they would show pictures of aborted fetuses. These pictures featured a trash can full of little fetuses and a bloody mass of appendages. What they didn't realize is that people like Judy Widdicombe looked at the same stuff, in real life-not in photographs. She would bring women with gauze and bandages stuffed up their vaginal cavities and let them miscarry in her home. She would then examine the remains of the miscarrage and make sure there wasn't anything left inside the woman.
After Roe vs. Wade, Judy set up a clinic specifically for performing abortions-the first one of its kind in Missouri. She wanted it accessible for all women, and wanted a warm and medical environment that set women at ease-they knew their situation was understood and they knew they were safe. This is where Samuel Lee is introduced. He arrived in St. Louis in 1978 intent on studying theology at Saint Louis University's seminary. As soon as he arrives he becomes involved with the Franciscans. They hosted a meeting of people planning a protest on the steps of an abortion clinic. This was how Sam became drawn into the abortion argument-he was exhilarated by it. Sam researched both sides of the abortion argument, but the more he read the more he became convinced that abortion was never justified-it was putting an end to human life. He left the seminary and became engulfed in the protests and the research-he would protest and be arrested until there was no longer a need to protest abortion.
The abortion argument came to a head in the 80's when Sam and Lou DeFeo wrote a bill that was passed by the Missouri state Senate and the House. It became a Missouri law in 1986. The bill stated that public funds may not be used for abortions and public employees may assist in abortions. The bill also stated that life begins at conception, unborn children have interests that should be protected and the parents of an unborn child have protected interests in the child. But that's only the beginning. The bill says that unborn children at any stage of development should have the same rights of all of other people. This was the first attempt to reverse the ruling of Roe vs. Wade, and it seemed well on its way.
One month before the law took effect, a lawsuit was filed against the bill by Frank Susman. He approached Judy, who had been fighting for almost 30 years for the woman's right to choose, and she was hesitant to join the lawsuit. She was tired of the fight, but she couldn't turn her back on this lawsuit-this one was too dangerous to reproductive health. The judge in that suit came back in 1987 declaring that every provision in the bill was unconstitutional. In 1989, the law suit went to the U.S. Supreme Court for appeal and the justices left Roe vs. Wade alone. The problem with this ruling is the vagueness of the language in the ruling-saying that parts of Roe needed to be more defined, but that it needs to be argued for years to come. When I read the ruling in this book, I really didn't understand exactly what it meant. It almost seemed like the judges had very definite opinions, but they were all different from each other.
After reading this book, I was more affirmed in my own opinions of abortion. It was really interesting to read the other side of the argument. There's no arguing that at life begins at conception-just like a every cell in our body is life, so is a zygote. However, the foundation of my belief in the pro-choice movement lies in the belief that a woman has the right to decide if a fetus should be born. One of the best bumper stickers I've seen about abortion is "Don't like abortion? Don't have one." A woman deserves the choice, that's it-PERIOD.

Once in a while, there's a rare book that'll smack you in the noggin, grab you by the lapels and scream, "This is how it really is! Now learn something!"

Articles of Faith is one of those books. You'll learn abortion is never nearly so clear cut as "either side" would have you believe; you'll see how each side's arguments, legal status, movements and, later, extremism are developed. But most importantly, you get the honest truth about what it's all really about, or not about. Despite the serious of the issue, I was never even able to get a glimmer of what Gorney's own view is of abortion. It's not simply objective; it never fails to delve into the details of each side, while coming up with an occasional fresh insight.

LOVED this book!
this made me SUPER excited about becoming a first-time mother

+great writing
+supportive tone
+perfect length

What R U waiting 4?
GET THIS BOOK!

This is a wonderful book for any woman trying to conceive, and for those already pregnant. The author uses humor and real-life experiences to educate, making it easy to read and understand. Highly recommended for any lesbian who is considering getting preganant, as well as for her partner. (if there is one!)

Any woman considering donor insemination needs this book!!! You can search the internet for hours and you still won't find all the information that you'll find here! I refer to practically every day and if this is the route you choose, you will too!

I found this book to be relaxing and rejuvinating when I was at my wits end with the ups and downs. The language is clear and the author is understanding! Every lesbian couple looking to concieve should read this book...

Extremely happy with this book. It is ONE OF A KIND, and will truly help you on your journey. We are using it as we move along in the process of ttc, pregnancy, and birth! If you are a lesbian couple, this book will be invaluable to you. I give it 5 stars!

This is an extremely valuable book, particularly for communities of faith struggling with the request of gay believers for full inclusion, full communion,a and equal rights within churches. The book documents well the tragically deformative role that religion often plays in the lives of LGBT persons, by fueling condemnation and often outright rejection or hatred.

In doing so, it provides a valuable reminder that religion can, and often does, play a different role in human life and human communities--a liberating rather than oppressing role. This study suggests that, in order for communities of faith to move from oppression to liberation of gay human beings, they must begin to know actual gay human beings--as human beings and not as stereotyped threats to Christian morality. The book's most important contribution is its first-hand accounts that permit people of faith to hear the stories of gay brothers and sisters and to see the faces of gay brothers and sisters.

Through all of the stories in Crisis there runs a common thread: the thread of shame, depression, isolation, overcompensation, and fear of rejection and failure that gay persons all too often encounter as we claim our identities in a culture (and in religious communities) that reinforce these negative self-images. The stories in Crisis document well the hard work required to sustain self-worth in a culture so unrelentingly negative, a culture in which the the name of God is too often used to create obstacles to gay human beings claiming their identities.

As a number of the book's autobiographies suggest, in the uniquely religion-imbued culture of the United States, culture is often informed by religious assumptions and biblical citations, even when those making the assumptions and using the citations have little familiarity with religion. In this regard, there are strong parallels between the struggle of gay persons for liberation today and similar struggles in the past. As with the struggle to overcome slavery, racial segregation, or the subordination of women, gay persons have to deal today with oppressive norms that have been inculturated as religious norms, even when those norms have detached themselves from actual communities of faith.

In dealing with this social inculturation of quasi-religious norms demeaning gay human beings, communities of faith need to remember (by looking back on their response to slavery, segregation, and the subordination of women, for instance) that religion can sometimes be spectacularly wrong. It can end up on the wrong side of history, and of the liberating impulses of history.

Religion has the potential to be salvific, but it also carries the power to be demonic. Look at the Holocaust, burning of witches, Crusades, pogroms, slavery and how can one doubt this? This historical perspective ought to give churches that are certain today of their scriptural warrant for oppressing gay persons and for supporting that oppression in culture pause to think.

I found the Crisis chapters on the risks of being openly gay at work particularly important. Those risks clearly vary from profession to profession. As a theologian who has taught and done administrative work in church-sponsored colleges, I have learned that the churches may well be the last places in the nation to welcome openly gay employees.

There is, sad to say, a unique lack of shelter and welcome for openly gay persons within many churches and church-related institutions. It seems to me that, before communities of faith can call on society to treat gay human beings with respect and justice, they must set their own houses in order by dealing with their history of disrespect and injustice towards gay brothers and sisters--disrespect and injustice still apparent in the personnel policies of many churches and church-owned institutions.

In the final analysis, gay people may bring to the churches gifts that the churches refuse to accept at their own risk. As Crisis demonstrates, in a world in which children are often abused despite our culture's and churches' professed concern for the welfare of children, the gay community demonstrates an extraordinary concern for the well-being of bullied children. Despite the claim by many in both church and society that gay persons are anti-family and non-generative, gay persons can do an admirable job of sustaining families, and, in particular, of reaching out to assist children enduring abuse from peers.

This is a valuable and often unacknowledged contribution of the gay community to church and society. The book documents it well.

This is a great book, an important book! Make sure you have all the pages. My copy arrived with the first 15 pages from "Normandy to Victory." "Crisis" begins on page 5 so I lack the intro by Navratilova. This is a rich book of intense experiences which you will want to share with friends, family, co-workers. No library should be without it!

This book should be read by everyone. It should especailly be shared with clergy, school teachers and other people of authority. This book was transformative! I now understand the tremendous challenges faced by gay children growing up today. High school is difficult enough for the straight teenager, let alone te gay teenager. I learned a lot by reading this powerful and informative book. It is well written, interesting and easy to read. I will purchase several more copies to distribute to my friends and family.

"I'd rather be shot dead than know my son is queer!"
To me, this is the heart of the crisis discussed in Gold's book. It reflects the verbal abuse of gay young people by those who have a responsibility to love and support them. It also reflects the perverted teachings of many churches - that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (GLBTQ) youth are not worthy of respect and love.
The forty short autobiographical sketches that make up the bulk of Crisis largely show over and over the oppression experienced during their formative years by these gay men and women. All of them finally overcame their religion-based oppression. Most are now highly respected leaders in their chosen professions. Still, their stories reveal the years of fear and shame they - and so many others like them - experienced in their most formative years.
Many young gays are not so lucky. Many suffer total rejection by their church, schoolmates, and family, and are left to fend for themselves at a vulnerable young age. They suffer both verbal and physical abuse simply because of who they are. Too many are lost, through murder and suicide. Is no one ashamed that their words have cost these young people their lives?
Crisis stresses the need for acceptance and support of all our GLBTQ children. Parents, churches, schools, and politicians must recognize the grave harm they do not only to the GLBTQ youth themselves, but also to their families and friends.
It is Mitchell Gold's expressed hope that families, church leaders, politicians, and school authorities will read his book. There is a desperate need for all of them to act to eliminate the violence inflicted on the millions of American GLBTQ teens by the very people charged with protecting them.

Gold, Mitchell, editor with Mandy Drucker. "Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay in America", Greenleaf Book Group, 2008.

Raising the Curtain on Growing Up Gay

Amos Lassen

This is the book that many have waited for because we are in desperate need of ways to save our gay teens who suffer from depression, rejection, isolation, persecution and just plain fear. They often have nowhere to turn and no one to talk to. A large percentage of them turn to drugs and alcohol and some lean toward suicide. We know the causes---discrimination, bullying and homophobia (from their families and their peers) and these kids (as well as many adults) suffer great pain. We need to find ways t give them the love and support that they need.
"Crisis" was written as an effort to help and is directed at those who cause harm to our youth and is a wonderful aid for clergy, parents and teachers and counselors who have no idea to deal with the issues. Forty diverse stories gave us a background. We learn the problems that many had accepting themselves and we have looks at what parents and straight clergy have to say by offering support and looking at gay people for what they are--human beings who are guaranteed equal rights but may not get them because they are guilty of loving people of the same sex as they are.
As people it is our responsibility to learn about gay people, teach one another what we know and make sure that the next generation understands the meaning of diversity and difference in order that the future generations will not have to face the problems that others have felt. If we commit ourselves to changing the way things are, it is our duty to rid the world of prejudice.
It's a pity that we have not always has this book because if we had, many would have understood the pain that is felt by our GLBT youth. We know that many feel that they are not worthy of our love because they are afraid of rejection. They want to be able to hold jobs, to love, to practice their faith. We need to give them the love they need as parents and allies so that they can feel complete and not alone. This book is a way to start. Some of the stories will break your heart and others will shine a light on you. If you are interested in saving children and if you buy no other book this year, this is the one that should be in your personal library.

I went home and devoured the book - went to a concert at my church in between chapters and had the taste of wedding cake in my mouth. The personal nature of the "journal entry" chapters give an insight into love, exclusion, confusion, certainty, planning, joy. I found for me it highlights what being single has meant in the midst of a coupled/married Other.

This is a lovely book. The chapters are like soft bits of snow, falling gently, one at a time, and creating a beautiful landscape when they all come together. I often found myself smiling reading these touching and humorous stories of love and home. I look forward to reading more from this talented writer.

A delightful episodic journey through the life of a woman who married her female partner shortly after gay marriage became legal in MA. Details of the wedding planning are funny and touching, but the book offers more: quirky insightful observations, revelations about intimacy and relationships, and musings about finding one's place in the world. This is a wonderful book for everyone -- male and female, gay and straight.

I enjoyed this book more and more as it progressed, and I think this is because I enjoyed the development of the author's voice, the sense of this honest, liberal, somewhat opinionated and playful individual talking. The book is really a personal essay, a journal-like memoir, as much (or more) about the author as about a gay marriage. As a straight person, I found it eye-opening to hear about the many situations in which Ms. Wescott and her partner, Kathleen, felt they had to hide their relationship. "Gayness" is a theme of the book in that sense - how it has felt in the life of the author. But I think one reason the story of this marriage comes across as complex and real is that gayness is one element of the story, but it isn't the story.

I couldn't stop reading--engaging, direct and heartfelt. If you have ever planned a wedding (or bar mitzvah...or commitment ceremony...or any public ritual), this is the book for you. We can all relate to the struggles and triumphs that come as you try to make a public celebration into a day that reflects who you are. The author draws you in with spirit, humour and wit.
Amazing and strong.

I need a book on this topic that's written for a teen level: simple wording, not complext clincial concetps, leaning toward insights and solutions rather than research and academic data...But especially something that's not boring or written over the heads of young teens (age 14-16). Would this a good book?

In this book, Jane Wegscheider Hyman interviewed fifteen women who self-injure themselves to learn more about their battle with self-injury and explain how and why they continually and intentionally injure themselves. This is a fantastic and informing piece of work. Hyman has obviously done a great deal of work over a period of time. The women talk about their pasts, reasons for their self-injury, and troubles associated with it and their hopes of recovery. Hyman is not only very educated in this field but she also is very compassionate about the women's stories and situations. This is an excellent source of information, and along with, A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain by Marilee Strong, they are the best books on the subject matter. I greatly suggest this book for those who self-injure, those who know someone who does and professionals that care for them.

I respect what the previous reviewer wrote about triggering. But for me, the possibility of triggering is outweighed by the realization that I am not alone in dealing with this issue in my life. I saw real hope in the words of women who have to a greater or lesser degree found ways to creatively deal with lessening or eliminating self-injury in their lives. I spent decades believing I was alone in this struggle.

If you use self-injury in your life, you will find yourself saying "She's just like me!" countless times. Being able to do this is a great relief.

I learned that self-injury is in fact a creative method of dealing with intolerable situations, and I realized that it in fact served a valuable, LIFE SAVING purpose in my life. I know this sounds absurd to people who cannot imagine self-injury at all, but believe me, please, it is true. I also learned that its value to me properly diminished as I acquired new, safer ways to deal with the overwhelming memories of my past. This book, in combination with therapy, gave me ideas and tools for retiring my old, dangerous, yet valuable ways of dealing with my feelings.

Thanks to Jane Wegscheider Hyman and the fifteen women she interviewed.

As someone who has self injured for over 25 years (since age 5), this was THE book that helped me to start coming out of my denial and being able to seek help. While it can be triggering, it is outweighed by the number of "ahhhh haaa's" one get's from reading it. It was very enlightening and helped me to reduce the shame I'd experienced, enough that I could finally seek help. One thing ESPECIALLY unique about this book is that it does not limit itself to cutting and burning - it deals with all forms of self injury - something that FEW books on the topic of self injury do. If you are looking to buy just one book on the topic, let this be it...

This book has been a very healing guide for me. Not only from reading it, but also from being one of the 15 who participated in its writing. Reading back now on my own words has given me continued encouragement and hope. Jane did such a wonderful job of being a voice for me and the 14 others who interviewed. I didn't feel like I was ever heard when I expressed my emotions, and when I expressed them through self-injury, I usually got negative feedback. I feel Jane has allowed me to be heard, but this time it is through feedback that has contributed to the healthy lifestyle I live with today. God bless you Jane.

This book may be the most important book ever written on the evolution of human social organization. It brings together observation and theory from social anthropology, primatology, and paleoanthropology in a manner never before equalled. The author, Chris Knight, who teaches social anthropology at the University of London is up to date on all these fields and has achieved an extraordinary synthesis. His critiques of Claude Levi-Strauss on totemism and myth are a sheer tour de force. The basic premise can be summarized, though only in an extremely cursory fashion, as follows. The basis of primate social organization is predicated on the distribution of food resources and how females array themselves around these. Males array themselves around females. Over the course of human evolution, the acquisition of animal protein came to be of critical significance. Proto-human females acquired this valuable resource from males via a collective bargaining agreement which formed the basis of human kinship organization and social exchanges. This accomplished through a systematic "sex-strike" cycle which ran according to a lunar based schedule of menstruation/hunting following by ovulation/feasting. Human females evolved concealed ovulation and a cultural system of sexual advertisement based on menstruation that guided this cycle. Females could now say 'yes', but they could also say 'no', depending on the success of the hunting venture. The author explores evidence for this thesis both in the ethnography of currently existing non-industrial societies as well as in the paleolithic in the use that anatomically modern humans' made of red ochre and other pigments to signify and exploit the menstrual event. A number of previously incomprehensible myths, such as the 'Rainbow Snake' of the Australian Aborigines, receive a new and revealing interpretation in this light.

Dr.Chris Knight was one of my lecturers at university and without fail I would come away from my Anthropology lectures with my head blown away by all the amazing knowledge transfer that occurred. It was all fantastic stuff and all totally confusing until one of those "aha" moments, when all of Chris's and the other anthropologists theories suddenly all fell into place and began to make real sense.

The book itself was a key text during our studies with various chapters needing to be read at various times. For that reason I shall not break down the book, rather I shall say that it will be one of the most illuminating and eye-opening books that you will ever read. Maybe not the easiest to read but definitely one of the best. Oh, and you can always impress your friends in the pub of an evening with your knowledge of Marxist paleo-anthropological theories pertaining to the emergence of human culture!

This book was a revelation for me. Having struggled through numerous turgid anthropological works by the likes of Levi-Strauss, Roheim, etc., it was thrilling to read such an ambitious clear-sighted and compelling account of the origins of human culture, together with an excellent critique of much current anthropological thinking.

It's worth mentioning that Chris Knight is a marxist, and by that I don't mean vaguely left-wing in the manner of, say, Eric Hobsbawm. He's a real believer...dialectic materialism, the whole works. Clearly Knight believes his marxism is essential to his thesis. I would argue that although this maybe enabled him to see through other anthropological schools - structuralism, functionalism, what-have-you - and to develop his own theories, in the end it's irrelevant to his conclusions. So, wade through the marxist stuff, you can ignore it, it's not to my mind necessary to agree with his ideological beliefs (I don't) to appreciate his arguments, and to agree with much of what he says - or at least to find this a wonderfully stimulating book.

"The notion of tabu as connoting both 'danger' and 'power' belongs in fact to a venerable tradition. One source of this is the work of Durkheim...a pioneering article on menstrual symbolism published in 1898...Durkheim argued that women established the exogamy rule by periodically BLEEDING so as to repulse the opposite sex...[women] were the immediate agents of religious ideology's segregating action."

"...But of course, the model of cultural origins advocated in this book would lead us to trace the underlying abstract logic of the Rainbow Snake...much further back into the Aborigines past--indeed, right back to their first entry into Australia [from central Africa]..."

"It would be interesting to study the ideological and political factors which led to Durkheim's insights being virtually ignored for a hundred years."

Chris Knight, BLOOD RELATIONS
Chapter 11: "The Raw and The Cooked" and
Chapter 14: "The Dragon Within"

" At Yirkalla, in...north-east Arnhem Land [aboriginal Australia]...women's solidarity is still very strong, menstrual blood is regarded as 'sacred'... It is only when this snake power of the women themselves has been established that the conditions are felt appropriate for the climax of the ceremony...

'...really we have been stealing what belongs to them (the women) for it is mostly women's business... Women can't see what men are doing...This is because all the Dreaming business came out of women--everything...In the beginning we had nothing...we took these things from women.'

"It is one of the severest indictments of 20th Century anti-evolutionist anthropology that its models have led ethnographers to dismiss such profound Aboriginal insights as scientifically valueless."

Chris Knight, BLOOD RELATIONS
Chapter 13: "The Rainbow Snake"

This is a five star, paradigm-shifting treatise on human cultural origins if there ever was one. Chris Knight's rendering of the four plus million years of primate and proto-human history in BLOOD RELATIONS, right up to the latest 200,000 years that begin true humankind and human culture in central Africa and along the Nile, through to the psychic/motivational bedrock of our conflicted modern society, becomes more impressive, more inclusive--and more impregnable with every chapter and every turn of the page.

My test for the far-reaching influence and power of any theorist--particularly of the wannabe revolutionary kind--is three-fold. One, their theory must be completely plausible; i.e. not needing simple revolt from detractors and complimentary but poorly explained aspects of ITSELF to proclaim and rationalize its essential relevance. Two, they must have the ability to completely encapsulate the foundational principles, concepts and findings of the other historical and competitive theories within its discipline as an integral part of its own new perspective; showing their ideas to be the great quantum leap beyond our sense of reality and the all inclusive step toward truth. And third, perhaps most important of all, it has to excite me. There may be things my mind will not be specifically educated enough, multi-lingual enough or quick enough to pick up, but you cannot fool my heart. All these three are BLOOD RELATIONS's great achievement and great contribution.

Chris Knight, the brilliant and controversial London anthropologist, does this all in BLOOD RELATIONS with such remarkable clarity and erudition, in fact, attempts to disagree with his findings becomes pointless. His unified field-theory of the prehistoric African woman's role in the formation of human culture is so incredibly well done, and so profoundly earth shattering in its implications, that I read the book twice to fully soak in all the sacred pre-verbal intuitions I have had that it reveals to be historical fact and obvious science.

So far the only complaint of BLOOD RELATIONS I could have is the only one possible: he seemingly focuses too much on the Marxist avatar of revolutionary cultural ideas while using it as the lens via which the origins of culture could be best understood. This at times seems to ironically minimize the revolutionary spirit of humankind that produced them. None less than the great Picasso was once quoted in saying "today's artists are tomorrow's politicians;" focusing more on the *artistic* power of the creative human spirit (my bias) may have put his new paradigm in an even more inclusive perspective. Yet even there he establishes, to my knowledge, the first credible dialectic between the devolved, political diseases of 20th century Stalinism/Maoism and the philosophical/scientific postulates of the 19th century Marxism upon which their regimes were originally based. So powerfully, in fact, that the Marxist perspective he examines and explains driving his reevaluation of 20th century anthropology--and, in turn, our entire view of human culture--need not (and in his book does not) come with the kind of intellectual apologies that would otherwise signify an inherent lack of validity.

Chris Knight with BLOOD RELATIONS shows unquestionably that women, via sex and the rhythm of menstruation, nurtured the primal creative impulse of civilization and they essentially created human culture. And he shows it to be made up of communal solidarity against oppressors and oppressive situations (be it prehistoric animals or alpha males), symbol-driven creativity, and achieving a certain oneness with the rhythms of nature. This primal social movement that is the womb of human culture, told in every ancient culture's foundational myths, could naturally just as easily explain the birth of democracy and/or capitalism in the historical ages of feudalism as it does the advent of Marxism in the age of capitalism...and what is next for human kind.

This is another of the great books of our time whose far-reaching influence in modern culture has not even begun to be felt. One can only imagine what anthropological works throughout history that have been ignored because of intellectual biases will now be reexamined and redeemed through his paradigm shifting work. I would combine this with Barbara Ehrenreich's 1995 work BLOOD RITES, and the 19th Century Gerald Massey's ANCIENT EGYPT, THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD as an anthropological trinity of monumental, paradigm shifting proportions that will change your view of humankind-our true past, present and potential-forever.

BLOOD RELATIONS is beautiful.

The many words used to describe Chris Knight's "Blood Relations" include, monumental, encyclopedic, brilliant, original, ingenious, and a tour-de-force. It is all of these and more! This work is simply the most brilliant and imaginative book about human cultural development ever written. Its range is astonishing. Its arguments are cogently made with great detail. Its synthesis of primatology, socio-biology, and anthroplogy are compelling. Where others have depicted women as the victims of a dominant male hierarchy, Knight reveals how the sex roles and behavior of both men and women developed together in a dialectic relationship. Where others have stressed the loss of oestrus and continuous sexual receptivity in the female, Knight spotlights menstruation and its associated marital and other cultural taboos. Where others stress man the hunter and woman the gatherer, Knight envisions paleo-women as evolving an increasing solidarity to shape the structure of both hunting and gathering. Women are not the passive creatures that are so often depicted by the radical feminists who have an interest in portraying women as the victims of dominant males. Females have been active participants in shaping culture, behavior, and human destiny. As Knight says, "symbolic culture involves very widespread levels of synchronized co-operative action."

Somewhere between 40,000 and 100,000 years ago, Knight believes, a massive social, sexual, and cultural explosion occurred and he does an ingenious job of providing us with insight into how this may have happened. A major change in reproductive strategy had to take place before males could take off as hunters and leave their women behind. Women synchronized their ovulatory cycles with one another; the concept of the "sex-strike" is the heart of the book. Blood as a symbol of menstruation provides a key to much of human culture and Knight uses it to explain the inner logic of many of mankind's myths and taboos. Because the disruptive effects of sex can be enormous, these controls have played an important role in the development of human culture.

The riches of this deeply learned book cannot simply be conveyed in a brief review. It is a work to be read over and over and contemplated. The many insights into human culture and the relationships among the sexes will surely provide any open minded person with a new perspective as to why we are the way we are.

Donna Williams is already one of the most famous people diagnosed with Autism in the world and people look up to her achievements and particularly perhaps, the fact that as an Autistic person, contrary to all existing stereotypes at that time, she has married and, of course, an iconic writer of heterosexual romance.

But all is not what it seems. Agoraphobic, outside of her public face, Donna is actually a relative recluse on a farm in the middle of nowhere, completely controlled by her obsessive rather Autistic-Spectrum and somewhat multiple-personalitied husband, Ian. She is beginning to discover that not all 'Auties' are nice at all and the one she's married is a doosie.

Now, on the day of their second wedding aniversary, only one week after the death of her eccentric rather bipolar father from cancer and in the middle of the filming of a documentary about her life, Donna is falling deeply 'in like' with one of the crew, Mick who himself lost the father he loved. Now Ian boldly de-masks and announces he wants to run off with the male producer!

The de-masked Ian clinically announces how he has now qualified for being two years in the marriage and, hence, is entitled to half of everything she ever made from her internationally bestselling books. To boot, she has only a few weeks before flying to America to give a talk about being happily married and on the Autistic Spectrum before a massive US audience!

As Ian packs up the furnishings and strips their house bare and the cameras keep rolling, Donna's 'in like'with Mick has turned to being in love and after she starts a smart drug she finds herself developing lust for the first time in her life at the ripe old age of thirty-two.

But Mick has his own challenges with love, sex, identity and alcohol and with the help of a colorful hippy eccentric dance teacher, Margo, Donna finds herself on the road again. More alone as famous than she would ever have been otherwise, and deeply traumatised by the death of her father, she confronts her sexual orientation and attraction to women, going to a gay club specifically to meet 'someone'. She ends up in a torid sexual relationship with an alcoholic lesbian, Shelly. Then her best friend, Margo, goes suddenly into a coma, then dies from a brain haemmorage, and soon even Donna's beloved cat Monty joins the 'other side'.

It's like everyone is dying and she is surrounded by their 'ghosts'. But among the ghosts awaits an angel named Chris who in rescueing him from his own messy love triangle, she rescues herself from the edge of breakdown.

Everyday Heaven is a humorous, moving, riveting, roller-coaster of a book.

Thank you, Donna. I am an avid fan of Donna Williams' autobiographical and other scholarly writing on 'autism'. She is a true peacemaker. In her previous book, Like Colour to the Blind, I found tremendous insight into the kinds of problems that many of us encounter when we expand our world to include that of another in an intimate partnership.

Similarly, reading Everyday Heaven inspired me to continue to understand and deepen my relationship with myself. Donna's style is ever fresh and impeccably precise. She continues to charter the borderlands of differences in thinking, feeling, perceiving and behaving that have been labeled 'autistic'. Perhaps with so eloquent a mapmaker as our guide, the rest of us can learn greater tolerance for all of the individual 'autistic' realities that we each bring to bear in the creation of this thing that we think we share called 'consensual reality'. Maybe then there will be peace and Everyday Heaven on earth.

Those who have read Donna Williams' other three autobiographies will continue to find ideas and insights that will stretch anybody's understanding of autism far beyond textbooks and what professionals have published. But more than that, even if you aren't especially interested in autism, this book is about the zest for and love of life. Considering how gloomy and bitter Williams could be if she chose, "Everyday Heaven" really serves as an inspirational memoir. In spite of the very real hardships she describes, this book filled me with joy.

Of all Donna Williams' books, "Everyday Heaven" is one of my very favorites. The fourth in her autobiographical series, this part of her story invites us to be a fly on the wall while she navigates life and love in her thirties. Donna's unbridled candor draws you in, and her clarity and insight hold you fast. When you read it, you'll want to have a box of tissues near by, and also a friend to share some of her humorous anecdotes with. What strikes me in this book, is that in spite of the horrific circumstances she survived in her early childhood, and to whatever extent her Autism continues to impact her daily life, there is never a moment of blame or bitterness. She personifies resilience and a lust for life. If you dare to read any of her books, Donna Williams is someone who will take all of your excuses away. "Everyday Heaven" is a heavenly read.

Donna is changing the way that, hopefully, millions of people think about 'Autism'. Everyday Heavan gives a wonderful insight into the world of a fantastic lady on the Autism spectrum. In this fascinating book Donna shares the ups and downs of relationships, exposure anxiety, information processing, connection, tolerance, contol, dietary difficulties and many more experiences that she has had. You will be captivated by the warmth and passion that Donna brings to the Neuro -Typical world of Disabling barriers.