Infant-Mortality Books

I bought this book after I was well into my subsequent pregnancy. I only wish I would have purchased it sooner, like before I became pregnant again. This book confirmed the feelings that I had were valid, and I wasn't "crazy", and I don't have to feel guilty for feeling the way I do. The author lets you know it's ok to have certain feelings and that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is that I am 100% pro-life. Although the author seems to have a strong faith in God, it seems like she makes it "okay" to have an abortion if the baby has a birth defect. Enough said about that. But overall, this book has helped me so much! Especially dealing with people who think that you're "okay" now that you're pregnant again and you should be over your grief now that you have another baby on the way. To anyone who has ever lost a child and wants to become or is pregnant again, get this book!

I read this book a few weeks after I lost my newborn son, due to severe pre-eclampsia. Before this happened to me, I didn't even know what pre-e was. It struck fast and I had to have an emergency c-section at 23 weeks into my pregnancy. My son, Tyler Michael, weighed only 11 oz., but he lived for 5 days.
This book helped me to deal with my grief in some ways, but for the most part I shoved it all deep down inside, and I just focused on getting pregnant again ASAP. My son died in March of 04 and I was pregnant again by September of the same year. This book got me through the some of the most difficult months in my life. I couldn't bond with my unborn child because I wouldn't allow myself to think about the future. It was truly a day by day ordeal for us. I let me family do the nursey 3 weeks before my scheduled c-section, but no clothes or anything like that. The heartbreak I endured watching Tyler's things being carried out of my home scarred my too deep for that. I read this book constantly. The personal stories from women who had been where I was and got through it was sometimes the only way I could keep under control.
My only complaint about this book is that I wish she would have included more info on parenting after a loss. The few things that were included struck a deep cord with me. I held my daughter practically the entire 6 days I was at the hospital, and she slept in a swing in our room until she outgrew it at 9 months. I also am over protective, probably more than I'll admit to. I shoved my grief for Tyler down futher, and it came to a head this past September. "They" say that if you don't grieve, not to worry, it'll wait for you. Indeed it did. The loss of Tyler made it hard to give myself completely to my daughter, so i felt guilt on that on top of everything else. I had major clinical depression and had to be hospitalized for a few days, and was in an intensive outpatient program for 5 weeks after I got released. It changed my life, and I'm feeling more like myself than I have since I got pregant with Tyler. Great doctors, the right medication, and ways to deal with my loss have all improved my life. I'd love it if she worte a book on parenting after a loss, it's harder than people think.
I donanated a copy of this to my obgyn, my family doctor, my maternal fetal med doc, and my psychiatrist. I hope that it can help some more of the women who desperatly need it.

I feel badly for women who have had miscarriages -- they missed out on so much bonding that happens later in pregnancy, the joy of feeling their babies move, etc. But I can personally attest to the terrible, unfathomable trauma that comes with delivering a perfect, but dead baby, after a completely uneventful pregnancy. What to do with the shower presents all over the house, the pile of thank-you notes that were about to be stamped; the breasts, so close to our broken hearts, filling to feed a baby who is not there. It is horrific, and yet, transformative, if we're able to focus on the love we have for our lost babies. Stillbirth is far more common than I ever would have thought, but far less common than miscarriage. I suppose the author/publisher could have reworded the subtitle of the book to make it clear it was directed at parents who experienced late-term/full-term losses. There are fewer options available to women who experienced stillbirth or infant death; and the support groups are populated primarily by women who had miscarriages simply because it's far more common. Please don't give something a bad review just because it didn't apply to your circumstances. Best wishes to all of you on your journey.

I am so sorry if you are reading this review. You are either walking in my same shoes or know someone who is.
After the loss of our first son at 36 weeks (because of a blood clot in his umbilical cord). I started reading this book about a month after his death. We wanted to try to have another baby, but needed to deal with grief, fear and everything else that comes with the loss of a child. I was able to get pregnant 8 weeks after his death. This book helped my husband and I cope with the next pregnancy and actually have hope that our next child would make it here alive. The book is detailed, comforting, hopeful and reminds you that your feelings are totally normal. It addresses fear, jealousy, dealing with others who don't know how to handle you and your subsequent pregnancy. It also addresses what it's like to actually have another child. Once you are home with a live baby you go through a whole new set of emotions. I bought this book for family and friends so they could try to understand what we were going through.
I am so pleased to say that 8 months of reading this book...we had a beautiful baby girl. The book really helped me through a very high risk and scary pregnancy. I still refer to it when I am having a bad day missing my little boy so much, but loving my little girl so much.
Good luck to you in starting the journey of a subsequent pregnancy after a devastating loss.

Our first child, our son Wyatt, was stillborn and it has been the most devastating event of our entire lives. I bought this book after a fellow angel parent recommended it and absolutely loved it. It is so "nice" to see all the thoughts and feelings you have after losing a child and trying to decide to try for another baby right there in print. It makes you realize you're not going crazy, that those thoughts and feelings are legitimate, and that you are not alone. I carried this book everywhere with me and would highlight phrases that were personal to me. It really helped me understand the loss of our son and give me strength and courage to go on with our lives by giving him a little brother/sister while still keeping his memory alive. We have since given birth to his baby sister who was born happy, healthy, kicking, and screaming a couple weeks ago! Being pregnant after losing a child is very difficult. Constant fear, guilt, and a lot of times you're still grieving very hard for the baby you lost. We got pregnant just 2 months after losing Wyatt and while we planned it that way and I wouldn't change it for the world, it was hard to still be grieving so hard for Wyatt and be able to enjoy the pregnancy with our new daughter. I'm so sorry to those of you having to look at this book, but I hope it can help you as much as it has helped me.

This is a wonderful book. I purchased it after the stillbirth of my first baby boy. It gave me the confidence to not try again but at least to start thinking about it. Thankfully we did and we have a beautiful 18 month old girl now. I felt like this book was written especially for me. It was so relevant to our experience of achieving parenthood. Thanks Ann for writing this book.

I found this book to be ok. It deals more with trying after a stillbirth than trying after a miscarriage. Then it goes into how to get pregnant again, which if you have tried for any length of time with your other pregnancies - you know how it works.

I actually purchased this book for my sister who's had two miscarriages in a matter of about five months. A friend of mine who also experienced two miscarriages in a row (a few years back) read this book and recommended I give it to my sister as part of a care package. I'm very glad I took my friend's advice because while my sister's found several books at the library on the topic of miscarriage, she said she wasn't able to find much at the major bookstores. Although I haven't read this book myself, I know my sister found it informative and encouraging. In fact, she said she read the entire book the same day she received it.

I starting reading this book a few weeks after our still birth. I did not want to "try again". I was just trying to deal with all the emotions and all the issues of our still birth. It has almost been two months now and all the other grieving book I've bought are on a shelf, but this one is still on my desk and I referance it almost every day.
This book has given me such a good resource for trying again, I almost feel like I could do it. I feel like I'd have a good chance to make it through with my sanity intact, no matter what the outcome.

After the stillbirth of our first child, we received or bought quite a few "Dead Baby Books" as we jokingly called them. Trying Again was the gift of a friend who knew that because we had lost our child to severe preeclampsia/HELLP, we would really struggle with whether we should try again in the future.

Trying Again is a reasonably good summary at the issues facing couples in a situation like ours, and special issues relevant going into a pregnancy that we know will be high risk. I have a minor frustration since all of these books about high risk family discuss the impact on the husband and the other children, and never seem to put any focus on the woman's career. It's often hard enough to be pregnant and work, let alone going into a pregnancy knowing that you may well have to stop working very early in order to go to term.

I would recommend the book for anyone who has lost a child. I think that many of the emotional issues are relevant whether you believe that your loss was a one-off event or whether you know already that you are high risk. However, I think women who have just learned the hard way that they are high risk will probably get the most out of the book.

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If a person hasn't had the heart-wrenching experience, it just isn't possible to understand how hard it is to lose a baby--whether during a pregnancy or or after birth.

It's a devastating experience made all the worse by the fact that at times the grief is not only overwhelmingly painful, but it seems as though it will never, ever get better--because your beloved child is lost to you forever. Helpful platitudes or wary avoidance of the topic by friends and relatives just isolates you further during those very dark times. If I'd had this book the first year after we lost our nine-day old daughter, I wouldn't have felt so very alone and lost in my sorrow. Even now, several years later, the book truly touched my heart.

Fletcher's book offers perception and empathy, and by addressing those dark feelings of grief she makes it easier to work through them. Her message of hope and faith is like a lifeline, for even those of us who have grown up in faith can find that faith shaken and tested when that most heart-breaking loss occurs.

I recommend this book highly--buy it for yourself, or buy it for a friend who is grieving for a little one...and also for the grandmas' and grandpas, and other relatives who are grieving, too. They often have very little support in their grief, and I know my mom needed this book as much as I did!

I've heard that this author has done a lot of speaking on infant loss and bereavement at conferences, and hope I can hear her speak someday. Bless her for giving of herself in this way!

As the mother of a stillborn son 9/11/97 and recently suffering a subsequent loss (ectopic pregnancy 10/26/99), I find myself searching again for comfort and hope. Susan Fletcher's "From Sorrow to Serenity" compares grief feelings with scripture quotes, offering encouragement in an otherwise dark journey. The only thing I'm not convinced of ... do we ever really get to complete serenity? I sometimes find glimpses of serenity and peace; perhaps there are more lessons to learn as I continue to travel down this difficult path.

I have used this book as a text for teaching grief and loss to naturopathic medicine and midwifery students for the past 4 years. Medical students find the information thorough, and appreciate the biological causes of pregnancy and neonatal loss, and the case studies at the end of every chapter. Midwifery students find that there is not enough information on grief counseling. To fill that important gap I supplement this book with Worden's Grief Therapy and Grief Counseling. This book would be significantly improved if it included chapters on abreactive grief responses, wholistic grief counseling, multicultural mourning practices, and complementary and alternative medicine approaches to the physical, emotional and spiritual experiences of pregnancy and perinatal loss.

A total rip off. No useful information