Divorce Books

There is public outrage that accompanies hearing about a child that has been abducted. What if the abduction is emotional? Psychological abduction is just as offensive and damaging. Dr. Warshak, in his book Divorce Poison,
explains this poorly recognized form of child abuse. Dr. Warshak defines this insidious problem and offers strategies to protect your child's emotional attachment to you so that it doesn't end with the marriage.
This book is required reading for anyone involved in a hostile divorce. READ IT!!

I was looking for something that my step daughter could read and understand how and why divorced parents might try to turn their children against the other parent. Which is the situation her father and I have had to go through. I wanted something that would better explain why parents do those sorts of things and why they are not healthy. This book is written for adults and I believe is a good tool for parents to use in understanding the other set of parents actions but a child would not understand reading this book.

After a couple of years of my husband and I trying to figure out what was wrong with my step daughter who's now 11, we finally found out that her mom has been repeatedly telling her numerous appalling lies about her dad which she believed and became scared and distant from her dad. She never mentioned the bad mouthing from her mom because she was told by her mom if she spoke up the judge would take her away from her mom. Finally it all came out during an extended stay with us and with the help of a couple of books "Divorce poison" and "The boys & girls book about divorce" we have been able to appropriately address this concern and the positive results already show in my step daughter. Since using the book's recommendations my step daughter has opened up about a lot of negative things going on at her mother's home which we were not aware of, and we have now been able to guide her on how to deal with it emotionally and how to address it directly with her mom. She acts and looks so much better now, her confidence has already improved and she is now relaxed with us like during the old time. This book is an excellent tool to help deal with a very sensitive and troubling situation that can seriously damage a child emotional welfare.

informative, accurate and advice is well explained. The children involved are ALWAYS of the highest priority. As usual though grandparents are forced to take a back seat and await a time when things are so out of control and the children are damaged before the court system recognizes the important roll they play in the children's future.

Anyone who has seen parental alienation inflicted on a child up close knows what a horrible form of child abuse it is. Children afflicted with this child abuse often carry the psychological wounds for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, our divorce system encourages this abuse by needlessly designating one person as the real parent and the other parent as a scapegoat and not a real parent. This creates a situation ideal to proprogate this sort of abusive behavior.

Fortunately, this book provides a good survey of this form of child abuse, including how to recognize it and how to deal with it. This is important because the first time you see this abuse, it is so horrible you can't believe it is happening. This book is a must read for anyone in the divorce industry, especially judges.

Hopefully, many young men will read this book and decide not to get married (which is Baskerville's actual advice to them). The book should also offer edification to older guys who already made that decision..they can feel vindicated. Of coure any "marriage strike" will also further the ultimate goal of ideological feminism, that is, a utopia in which men and women are completely isolated from each other. The question is, which arm of totalitarianism will gain ultimate highest power..feminist ideologues, or the State? Or perhaps a State controlled by feminist ideologues? I shudder to think.

About this time, 20 years ago I filed for divorce from my wife of
7 years. At that time I worked as a Chief Electrician at the Fulton
County Courthouse where my divorce would be held. I knew most of the
Superior and State Court Judges on a personal basis; but, I did not
know how most judges handled divorce cases so I went to Kim Warden
who handled abused kids and abused women to ask her opinion of the
judge who would handle my case.

As best I remember, this is what Ms. Warden said: "Your divorce has
been assigned to Superior Court Judge Ralph Hicks? Good luck. While
Hicks has tried to mitigate the horrendous way Child Support payments
is handled in Fulton County by creating 'The Fulton County Child Support
Receiver's Office, Hicks is extremely biased against men. For example:

"Bill, if you were a combination of Jesus Christ and Santa Claus and
you wife were a Convicted prostitute, a Convicted drug user and a Convicted child abuser and you and her both wanted custody of your child? You, Mr. Claus would have a 50-50 chance that you would get
custody. I suggest you try to get Judge Hicks recused from your case;
but, don't cite bias against men as your reason. Be creative."

Drat! My wife was not a convicted drug user, etc..., so I was creative
in my attempt before any hearings to get Hicks recused and have an out
of county Judge who did not know me to handle my case.

My first attorney refused to file a Motion to Recuse! (Should have
dismissed this attorney right then and there. Unfortunately, 1st
attorney eventually stabbed me in the back; but, that's another story.)

Judge Hicks lived down to Ms. Warden's low opinon---and then some.

Long story short, it took over 3 years to get my divorce here in Georgia. Judge Hicks finally, FINALLY, recused himself after charges
of incompetence were made against him in YR 2 of my divorce. My case was then heard by 4 other judges.

The last judge, a woman named Frank Hull, wouldn't put up with my
wife's attorney's shenanigans, reduced my child support from $850 per
month to $700 for one child and quickly granted me a divorce after
Judge Hull threatened my wife that she might reduce child custory
payments even further and, maybe, grant me sole custody.

During these 3+ years of monetary and judicial agony, I joined Fathers
Are Parents Too and Children's Rights Council of Georgia. If I thought
I'd had it bad, a goodly number these members had divorces that made
mine look like a cake walk. Both these groups really helped me
cope and I will be forever grateful.

Sincerely!
Bill Bryan
EducationChoiceActivist at yahoo dot com

"America's kids (K-12) can have Olympic Quality Education at
Low, low Wal-Mart prices if the kid's' parents could send
their kids to Public, Private or Parochial Schools (K-12) using
taxpayer funded vouchers."

Quality Education for Kids, Empowerment for Parents, and
SAVE AMERICA!

Stephen Baskerville has written a detailed and fully documented expose of how the family court system has grown into a frightening and destructive system of corruption, terror, and unchecked governmental power. It is a must read for all Americans, professionals, journalists, and politicians. You cannot walk away from this book without the disturbing feeling that America is slipping away from all of us.

There is a grave threat to the integrity of the legal system and to the core values of our society: The destruction of due process of law in the family courts, a malady that has now reached epidemic proportions throughout the Anglosphere.

Of all the scandalous behavior of the Left, perhaps none is so underreported as the systematic destruction of marriage and the family that is now practiced by the governmental divorce and child-custody machinery. This industry and the travesties it has perpetrated are summarized proficiently in the book, "Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family" by Stephen Baskerville, a professor of political science at Patrick Henry College.

Declares Baskerville:

"This book is about our unwillingness to confront the most destructive and dangerous injustice in our society today: the systematic seizure of children by government officials and the criminalization of their parents. A parent today who has committed no legal infraction can have his (or sometimes her) parenthood and relationship with his children criminalized entirely through the actions of others in ways that are completely beyond his control. [The book] focuses largely on fathers and divorce, because these are the ones most commonly involved."

The attack on fathers has been facilitated by the myth that they are abandoning their children in droves, at which point they become "deadbeats," and must be tracked down by government officials seeking justice for the forlorn wives and children. Nothing could be further from the truth, writes Baskerville:

"The myth of the deadbeat dad has already been discredited conclusively by Sanford Braver and other scholars. We have already seen that Braver is one of many social scientists who have found that few married fathers voluntarily abandon their children. Beyond this, Braver has also shown that little scientific basis exists for claims that large numbers of fathers are not paying child support. Braver found that government claims of nonpayment were derived not from any compiled database or hard figures but entirely from surveys of custodial parents. In other words, the Census Bureau simply asked mothers what they were receiving....Fathers overwhelmingly do pay court-ordered child support when they are employed, often at enormous personal sacrifice."

In the vast majority of cases, it is the wife who initiates the divorce proceedings. She is encouraged in this action by the regime of "no-fault" divorce. The old concept of marriage as a contract has broken down; today, the flimsiest, most whimsical reasons can be offered as justification--if justification is even needed.

Once this machinery is set in motion, the deck is stacked against the father. In the blink of an eye, he can be evicted from his home, forbidden from seeing his children, have his assets seized, his wages garnished, and he can be assessed huge fees--all without due process of law. Though not even charged with committing a crime, he is presumed guilty. Many of the proceedings are held without his knowledge or presence, and he cannot cross-examine witnesses.

In a macabre recitation, Baskerville shows how each amendment in the Bill of Rights is being systematically violated, with no appeal. For example:

"The Fourth Amendment protects the 'right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures'. Yet as we have seen, parents suspected of no legal wrongdoing and who have given no grounds or agreement for divorce are routinely ordered without warrants to surrender not only their children but personal diaries, notebooks, correspondence, financial records, and other documents. Those unwilling or unable to produce the demanded documents can be fined, ordered to pay attorneys' fees, and summarily incarcerated. We have also seen that fathers are regularly interrogated behind closed doors about intimate family matters most parents would not normally discuss with strangers, such as conversations with their children and spouse, and they can be jailed for failing to answer....In shades of Soviet psychiatry, citizens who refuse to submit to this inquisition--and even those who do not--can be ordered to undergo a 'mental evaluation'."

The divorce and child-custody apparatus has grown to enormous proportions. It is a veritable industry, with judges, lawyers, social workers, collection agencies, therapists, psychiatrists, caseworkers, and researchers making their living from the ever-expanding pie. The enforcement effort employs thousands of agents who have a degree of authority and immunity that is unthinkable for ordinary police and law enforcement agencies. It has become an independent fiefdom, with no oversight and little scrutiny, with an entrenched interest in generating more divorce, more restraining orders, more mental evaluations, and more outrageously inflated child-support payments (commonly approaching or exceeding the income of the victim).

Another myth deconstructed by Baskerville is that fathers commonly commit child abuse, incest, and wife-beating. In reality, this is rare. Mothers are more likely to use violence on fathers, and children are most subjected to abuse in single-parent households headed by a woman.

After describing in gory detail the horrors of the family-law system (backed up, I might add, by reams of studies and testimony), Baskerville turns his attention to the culprits, those whose ideology has resulted in one of the grossest perversions of justice in American (and British, and Canadian) history. There are several culprits, but towering above them all are the feminists, who have carved out this untouchable empire for the purpose of destroying fatherhood and the nuclear family.

A key buzzword used by advocates of this ideology is "for the children." This is the clarion call behind the incessant demand to insert the power of the state into the deepest recesses of the private lives of the citizenry. Children are used, in the most cynical fashion, to attain political ends. This has reached the highest echelons of America's Leftist establishment:

"The philosophy of turning children over to state control and denying a sphere of family privacy is succinctly conveyed in Hillary Clinton's aphorism, 'There is no such thing as other people's children.' Hillary rejects the notion that 'families are private, nonpolitical units whose interests subsume those of children' and believes instead in 'the status of children as political beings.' Commenting on these passages and others like them, the late Barbara Olson wrote, 'For Hillary, children are the levers by which one forces social change'."

Overall, "Taken Into Custody" is a balanced, non-emotional, well-written, and copiously footnoted exposé. The only sour note, I would say, are several odd forays into macro-level political analysis, such as the perplexing statement that "it is perhaps a legacy of the Enlightenment that today both liberals and conservatives seem to worship at the altar of the meritocracy." The author would have been better advised to confine the scope of the work to his area of expertise, in which his competence is duly impressive.

In any case, the book is a must-read for understanding the nature and scope of this insidious attack on a key foundation of Western society.

Awesome and factually backed up.

Have you ever read a book that you just can't put down? Well, this book is beyond that. Everyone I talk to that has read it or is reading it just has to put it down, very often, due to the shocking thought provoking nature of presenting the truth in the most believable way. Great job, Dr. Baskerville!

Dr. Baskerville sees that the real root of the war on dads (which is the war on families and society) isn't just selfish feminism, media and our "learning" institutions, or even just the barrage of parasitic greedy attorneys, judges and all their "full court" of hangers-on who profit immensely and gain unlimited power from this. It has become government at the center and root of destroying the family, and all of our rights, for these same reasons. Our forefathers warned us often that this would happen every generation/20 years, lest we be aware and prevent it.


Becoming aware can sometimes be tricky when attractive hysteria prevails so strongly. The healthy, intact traditional family is indeed the number one enemy of government becoming in total control, put above the citizens and thus decaying into corruption. People will readily support family-destroying lies and anti-male/father hysteria propaganda if it has been warped into "protecting" women and children. People have always supported hysteria propaganda and lies when they are craftily twisted around to look so important and good. But supporting anti-father agenda and hysteria isn't just hurting but is destroying women badly too, and especially children. After all, that's what government generated hysteria is all about, milking the masses, not just one group. Remember, where there's hysteria, there's fire, for all!

Like Dr. Baskerville points out - fathers are the weakest link to taking down the whole family, not just dad. It's ironic that while fathers are the weakest link to destroying the family, that they are also in fact the keystone and guardians of not just the family, but the keystone and guardians of any healthy society. The true patriarchy puts the family, the group and society before themselves. This isn't what you hear in the news or at school? This is what has always built and preserved healthy families and society. We'd still be in the stone age without this selflessness which feminists and government have discovered in men and fathers and have now exploited for only their own interests and "good." They use this to get men and fathers to help destroy themselves and take themselves down as protectors of society and family, against abuse and evil. Anything to prove they are not guilty of all the horrid atrocities which men and fathers are falsely, rampantly and hysterically accused of.

Fathers are the most important part of protecting and keeping families and children most protected and intact, from being ravaged by the many wolves in sheep's clothing. This includes fatherhood's main rival to truth, equality and justice for all (government). The classic signature of all totalitarian governments is to cleverly pretend to be putting up a valiant fight for these good things while doing the opposite. This is also the selfish radical feminist agenda, "Me first and only; it's all about ME, me milking you and everyone around me with my drama, while I pretend and dramatize doing the exact opposite."

Many just don't fully understand (they will benefit greatly from this book too) that it's not that fathers have abandoned their children or are bad, abusive and any more evil than mothers are. Government and their hangers-on would like you to believe dads are bad, more risky and suspect or guilty, until they can prove their innocence, which isn't even allowed anyway. These lies and hysteria just help them do more business than ever, and look like the good guys while raping and pillaging you and your family, and of course the whole village. They easily do this with the fully support of a largely happily ignorant village itself, because they can hysterically point the finger at those they have set up as villains.

Thanks for helping "our" government "help" us all so very much: Hillary, Obama, McCain, Pres. Bush, legislators on both "sides," governors, AG's, prosecutors and so very many "friends" of the family - very attractive wolves in sheep's clothing. There is little if any distinction between republicans and democrats when it comes to this subject and a few others.

Dr. Baskerville documents and backs up what he writes in this book. And, thanks for the quote from Dickens in the opening of chapter 1:

"The one great principle of the ... law is to make business for itself."

- Charles Dickens, "Bleak House"

this book is very interesting and impressive, because it is out of real life stories. Due to that, I could read it more seriously, and the stories made me think. At the same time, I could learn more about reality of marriage. this book is very helpful to understand all the theories and myth about marriage, and gives very thoughful ideas about how to construct marital relationship in the future.

I thought this book was extremely powerful because the readers got to read real-life testimonies of the many people who suffered through the effects of a divorce. The fact that the stories were real made it so much easier for readers to really understand the heartache that people go through. This book really hits you hard and forces you to accept the harsh realities of divorce. You can really feel the emotions that the authors of each story are going through and it almost seems too painful to be real. I thought this book went really well with Clarke-Stewart and Brentano's other book "Divorce: Causes and Consequences" because while that book was filled with facts about divorce, this book let you peek into what happens in real life. I recommend this very powerful book to everyone.

The bulk of Clarke-Stewart and Brentano's book consists of real-life stories from individuals who experienced the pains and struggles of their parents' divorce. These stories are truly gut-wrenching and tear-jerking, and the effects are felt! Clarke-Stewart and Brentano attempt to put a real face on the concept of divorce. Most people do not think that these things can happen, or that once they marry it is for good. These stories offer the reality of divorce, the hardships that are felt and can continue to linger decades after the actual separation. However, not all stories shed light on the potential hardships of a divorce. There are some that provide inspiration and advice, showing that people can triumphantly conquer these adversities.

These stories are extremely poignant, and force the reader to truly consider all the possibilities and potential problems before jumping into a marriage. My heart cries out for those who have suffered tremendously from selfish parents who involve their children in their adult disputes. However, as this book suggests, anything is attainable with the right mindset. This book was a true inspiration; I find myself repeating these stories to my friends and family, exposing them to the raw world of divorce as discovered in this book. For anyone starting a family, or thinking of marrying, PLEASE read this book. You, and your children, will definitely not regret it.

This book is a MUST! After reading this i can trully say that i have empithay for people who go through a divorce. The author makes the material so relatable that a person can walk away with an entierly new understanding of divorce. This book is a must for anyone who is going through a divorce. If you are going through a divorce or know someone who is experiencing a divorce they will probably get a lot out of this book. It will help a person uderstand exacitaly what happens in a divorce how one reaches the point to where they want a divorce, and the emotional trauma a divorce can cause. Really a MUST READ!!!

Having not had the experience of divorce or divorced parents, I have really gained an honest perspective of people who have by reading this book. It includes stories with so many different circumstances and outcomes. This book would be especially helpful to those who are going through a divorce or whose parents are going through divorce, for by reading these stories, you will realize that you are not alone. For further reading on the topic I would also recommend reading Divorce: Causes and Consequences" by the same authors, Allison Clarke-Stewart and Cornelia Brentano.

This is such a helpful book, I even purchased copies for my kids. This is a topic that needs to be talked about and exposed and this book is a great way to educate others on the topic of Parental Alienation Syndrome. It should be required reading for all involved in family court law. If I would have had this book ten years ago, my family may have been saved from the horrendous effects of PAS.

This book described my situation perfectly, as far as what PAS is. I am not and my kids are not adults yet, but it was good to know there is info on this "Syndrome".

Dr. Baker's work is becoming a solid seminal reference, helping children and families around the globe. This is the first study with solid statistics to give families warring with alienation, validation, hope and resources. If you or someone you know are at all affected by Parental Alienation, this is an absolute must read. The 40 case studies Dr. Baker describes, helps us understand the effects of grown up children that were alienated by a parent. In addition to describing the behaviors of how these actual parents alienated their children, Baker conveys the process these 40 grown children went through, realizing the alienation and the effect on their lives and perception of themselves. This is a real life look at 40 lives that were willing to share their story, so we might benefit. This is the first in what is sure to become a long line of research and statistical study for abused children and their families. Thank you Dr. Baker for your work of integrity and care. Know your research provides an integral base for connecting children, who have had part of their soul stolen, to tangible resources, help and healing. I look forward to the future research and study your work is instigating and inspiring.

Being a "targeted" parent as described in the book made this book quite helpful for me to understand exactly what I and my kids have and are going through. Dr. Baker's research and descriptions from those interviewed posted incredible similarities to my own experiences and gave me a new sense of hope.
If you are in fact a parent that has been alienated from your kids by another, this book is a must read. If you were alienated as a child from one of your parents, this book is no less an important read. If you are a therapist that counsels people in this position, it will prove to be an invaluable referance tool.

As a targeted parent whose daughter has not spoken with him for the last 5 years, Amy Baker's book, "Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind" has been the most informational and encouraging book I've read on the P.A.S. topic so far.

The reason is simple: This book is comprised of interviews of the KIDS (now adults) who were poisoned, not the parents who were either the alienator or target.

It was astonishing to read what these people, who as children were manipulated into hating one of their parents, had to say once they "woke up".

Without going into all of the results, let me mention the two most important lessons I learned from these kids:

1. The average length of time it took these kids to "wake up" was 20 years. Yikes! But, at least they woke up.
2. The overwhelming majority had wished the targeted parent tried harder to re-develop the relationship, regardless of how much they were "hated".

These two revelations are telling me: "Don't ever give up. Don't ever stop trying".

Thanks to Amy for doing this study and writing this book. It could prove to be the most important document I will see until I eventually reunite with my daughter.

Clarke-Stewart and Brentano deliver powerful insights and advice for anyone considering marriage or divorce. They provide statistical evidence for the various causes and consequences that are associated with marriage and divorce in a manner untypical of most textbooks. This book reads more like a novel, as much of a page-turner as one would expect from any novel. However, the lessons learned are extremely valuable to adults of all ages. For those suffering through a divorce, this book can serve as solace or a guideline of what to and not to do. For those contemplating marriage, this book provides grounds for the pitfalls of marriage. Even to older adolescents, the lessons learned are applicable to people of all ages.

As a young woman who never experienced a divorce, whether it be my own or my parents, I found the information in this book to be extremely helpful in choosing the right mate. Everyone knows of the possible consequences one may experience while going through a divorce, but the extent of what divorce can do to someone on the long-term scale can be astronomical if not handled correctly. Clarke-Stewart and Brentano not only provide information and statistics about the current state of divorce, but also deliver valuable advice for those seeking marriage or divorce. The adverse affects of divorce on yourself or your children can be avoided if you are aware of the numerous consequences involved. Overall, this book is a must read for anyone experiencing divorce, anyone contemplating marriage, and anyone looking to offer advice to a distressed friend.

Divorce,Causes and Consequences is a very indepth resource. I gained an immence amount of knowledge while reading this text. The book was very easy to understand and follow. The material in the text covered a wide variety of topics that many individuals deal with on a day to day basis. It states many statistical facts and allows a reader to analyze information which is pertinant to life and divorce. I highly recommend any one who may be interested in the causes of divorce and its consequences to use this book as a self guide to avoid such situations. However there were some facts that will allow some readers to feel as though many processes are common sence. Overall I urge many to purchase this book and gain knowledge on divorce and its consequences.

While this book is packed with information, statistics, and research, it is easy to read and understand, and in no way reads like a textbook. The information that it included was not only interesting, but is valuable information that everyone can take with them, whether looking to get married or not. I normally dread reading books for class, but I found this book extremely interesting, and it contained a lot of information that we could apply to our everyday lives. It gave an in-depth look at not only divorce, but the psychology of it, and how it impacts the world and our society. This book gave an awareness of the world we live in, and just how much marriage and divorce are central issues that need to be taught. After reading it, I am much less ignorant about marriage and divorce.
Everyone can learn something from this book!

How many people thought about they will get divorce before or during their marriages? These days significant amount of people ended up in divorce and even some people divorce more than twice. This book teaches why people divorce and results of divorce by using statistics, references, and personal stories from divorced families. This book totally changed my perspective toward divorce in many manners. It tells you before-during-after divorce period with comparison of short-term and long-term. At the end, I was surprised from what I have learned and gained much more confident of marriage and divorce.

Divorce causes and consequences is a very comprehensive book that not only considers the different aspects of divorce and the short and long term effects on everyone involved, it also gives the reader important information to consider before getting married. It includes the pyschological aspects of divorce and the risks that can lead to it combined with extensive research on the subject. Furthemore, the book has been organized so that as you go from one chapter to the next, you can follow the natural progression of divorce. "Divorce causes and Consequences" is also an important resource for professionals involved in the divorce process since it includes research relevant to law, pychology, and sociology.

Cute, funny, and A silky smooth ride.
In the beginning, Charlie, her beloved husband, gave a single reason (his "creativity") and said he was leaving the marriage. And then, he did.
So a thirty-something young professional finds herself alone, dumped, and devastated in Los Angelos. She goes crazy. After a while she learns to knit. She makes knitting into a hobby. And that's it.
Of course the story isn't really about knitting - though it claims to be. And we find that our heroine is a survivor, after all. I won't steal - by quoting - the hilarious one liners and funny story episodes. Author Laurie Perry is quite comfortable with character development and, in matter of fact, manages her subtle story progress quite handily.
I guarantee you will like this fast, short, and very funny read.

Strap yourself in and be prepared for a compelling true story ride that goes up and down, side to side, spirals this way and that and leaves you smiling in the end.
The Crazy Aunt Purl thing in the title is misleading to the unitiated (me), that's just the name of Laurie Perry's blog/website (add a dot com), and obsessive knitters who've read Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's books shouldn't expect the knitting to be the star here, because it's not: it only makes an appearance around chapter 7 and is mentioned only a few times thereafter. Yes, there are knitting patterns (14), written in the same vein in the rest of the book-which makes a nice change if you're used to only normally written knitting patterns: These are in the back followed by a gallery-you have to see the picture of the cat wearing the hood of the devil baby blanket! There are scarves(5), hats(2), bags(3) and one each of a cat tunnel, pom-pom, flower, aforementioned blanket and shawl. My glitch with these is that they mostly come with a wine recommendation but not always gauge or yardage-extra homework for those who wish to substitute yarns.
The knitting comes across more as a crutch, but this might be a good thing: one could give this book to non-knitters also going through a divorce or break-up, because that's what this book is really about, and how she, Laurie, survived the dark days of divorce and created a wonderful, sparkly new life (and with luck, the recipient of this book will be encouraged to knit too! So diabolical, it's brilliant! Get 'em when they're vulnerable-because knitting is, of course, healing and did I mention useful?)
Although this is by a woman and probably marketed to women, there's no reason a man shouldn't look into it.
The 44 chapters are bite-size, for that sense of accomplishment, and it feels like reading someone's really well-written diary or pages of a nice long letter, flashbacks to childhood and those real, often uncomfortable feelings we're too polite to say out loud, included.
It's funny in places, smile-free in others and unwittingly kind of self-helping, mostly the third act.
4 stars because I like it but don't swooningly love it (needs a pinch more knitting for my taste) but I'm happy to have it in my knitting book collection.
Definitely worth a read if you're in the mood for comfy, cozy, light and ultimately feelgood (and/or are on a diabolical mission to convert the non-knitting...)

I don't know how she did it but she channeled my life! So many of the same things happened. I can't write as houmrously, though. This lady is a stitch (pun intended)! Easily enjoyabe and quick read. My co-workers love to hear it on rides in the truck!

I thought this book was great. It's a quick read because you want to keep reading it. She is so open and honest about her life and quirks that you want to be friends with her. And she's funny. In addition to being a funny book, it is really good for someone to read if they are contemplating divorce but are on the fence about it. She gives very good coverage of the pros and cons as per her own experience.

I picked up this book based on the title alone. I had once been drunk, divorced and covered in cat hair and trying desperately to make myself whole again. Now, many years later I find myself knitting furiously to fill the empty next. Not quite the same as being dumped by one's husband, but a similar feeling of loss and loneliness. In addition to knitting and latch hook and crocheting, I've started reading voraciously so I took myself to the bookstore to find a book to fill the void.

I knew, instantly, from the title of this book, I had to read it and I was not disappointed. Any woman who has found herself clinging to an empty marriage, unwilling to accept that it's over only to be unceremoniously dumped will be able to relate to the sad but funny antics of the author. She takes you on her journey from shock and despair, to total depression to re-entry into the world as a whole person equipped with knitting needles. You'll both laugh and cry and remember your own journey to becoming whole as you read.

The chapters are all very short, some only one or two pages long and cover a particular point in her journey - like the hair emergency a few days before divorce court or "cooking ADD". Her style of writing is very similar to Erma Bombeck who could also make you laugh at the irony of life. Whether you were dumped when "he" decided he was losing his creativity or you lost your spouse through death or you find yourself alone after the children have left the nest, this book is for you.

I must admit, I bought this book because of the cover. Too bad I actually read it, too. It goes nowhere and not very fast. Why did Ham's wife hate Shoogey from the get-go? Who knows. Diane, why did you edit out Angie's pertinent character development? Diane?

This is a very cleverly structured book, with endnotes telling a story that runs parallel to the main story. It is very well-written and incredibly funny. My feelings about the characters kept surprising me, which I believe was part of the book's intent. I plan to reread it soon to see what I missed the first time through! A real achievement.

I must admit, I bought this book because of the title. It just seemed so different and intriguing. I was not disappointed! It was one of the best books I ever read. I laughed out loud many times! Michael Kun---your writing is brilliant! I was sad to see the book end. Sam Shoogey should live within all of us!

I picked up a copy of YPM after seeing it selected as "Best Book of 2005" by Baltimore magazine. It is one of the most enjoyable, beautifully written, thought-provoking books I have ever read. As a lifelong Baltimorean, it is great to read a book about my hometown and to see and recognize so many places that I have come to know and love. The last reviewer -- "Adam" -- doesn't seem to know anything at all about Baltimore, and doesn't seem to know anything at all about great writing. And every factual "statement" in his review is WRONG. Pick up this book. You'll love it.

It is rare when a writer is able to put together a book that works on multiple levels. Mr. Kun has done that with You Poor Monster, which is the best book I have read in many a year. It is insightful, yet entertaining. It makes you question everything you have read, and everything you think you know. I am tempted to say, "I laughed, I cried, it's the feel-good book of the year," but that would suggest that it's some kind of silly, trifling book. But I did laugh, and I did cry. And I will look forward to Mr. Kun's next book.

This book is full of wonderful suggestions for moving forward and mending a broken heart. It is practical and empowering!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Not only did I NEED this book, but I purchased one for several of my girl friends also. Highly recommended for heartache recovery...it puts you on good footing, with great ideas for starting deep soul repair.

Thank you once more.

I'm a therapist and feminist who knows first-hand the suffering some women voluntarily subject themselves to at the hands of selfish and narcissistic men who have an unhealthy vendetta that they project on kind-hearted women. So when a client of mine brought this book to me, written by two, dare I say it, men, I had my doubts. What do men know about issues of the feminine domain, like the emotional pain of a breakup. The male tendency is to control and subjugate. So with low expectations and admittedly high prejudices, I held my nose and read it. After the third page, I stopped holding my nose and, was mesmerized. I could not believe this was written by men. The sensitivity, effort and imagination is like nothing I've ever experienced in a book. My favorite element of this book was that of 'aha' moments. About half-way through when I was reading about remembrance, I realized that a lot of my own male-bashing issues stemmed from the fact that my father was killed in the Gulf war 17 years ago when I was 13. I was so devastated and broken-hearted, of course but suddenly, I realized I was angry at him as well. A cold chill swept through my body when at 29 years-old, I finally realized that my ultra-feminism/projected anger at men stemmed from the anger at my dad for dying. Seems like a simple case of abandonment..but not to me. I was far too angry at men to see the simple roots of my self-imposed barriers to my own happiness in relationships. I've waited for about a year to mention anything about this book but when I saw a recent very hurtful diatribe against this book, I said to myself. "I made my dad pay for dying in defense of our country and living his ideals. This time I have an opportunity to support a book and the two decent men who wrote it." 'Heart' is an invaluable contribution not just because of the excellent and often instantly liberating content, but because it reveals the best of the loving hearts of men. The dad I never knew, I now know because of these dads.

I relied on someone else's review when I decided to purchase this book, and I'm very glad I did. The authors don't sugarcoat the whole breakup experience, but they do offer realistic ideas on how to approach each day and mark progress. They don't demonize the other party, which is helpful, and similarly, they don't idealize what led to the split. I found myself looking forward to reading each day's blurb and contemplating the associated exercises. While I am still very sad about my breakup, I know there are better days ahead, and that having spent the time following the heartache constructively analyzing myself and the circumstances will prove beneficial down the road. If you are in a similar situation of feeling overwhelmed by a recent breakup, I highly recommend this book. And good luck to you.

I thought this would be an easy read. Boy, was I wrong. Well, it *was* easy to read because it is very clearly written, and very direct and focused. It took me longer than expected to read because the SUBSTANCE of the book is so compelling. The chapters and exercises really hit home and provoke a lot of contemplation and action. I have already ordered a copy for a friend and highly recommend this book to anyone who has either recently lost a love relationship, or who hasn't really recovered from the hurts of one or more past relationships, recent or not so recent. This book basically says, YOU are in charge. YOU do the work. YOU need to recognize where you are and what you CAN do about it. This book does not permit you to wallow unnecessarily in the stages of grief but instead encourages you to recognize what IS and what ISN'T and to CHOOSE to deal with your situation constructively and actively. Spot-on!

I HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend this book for parents and parents-to-be who are still married! Those who will benefit range from parents who want to strengthen an already strong marriage to those who are considering divorce. If you are already divorced or at the irreconcilable stage, you'll want to do a serious gut check before you read this because there is no ambiguity in this book. Personally, I wouldn't want to read this if I were a divorced parent.

Based on Marquardt's compelling and extensive research, divorce is damaging to children, whether it is a "good" or a "bad" divorce. She states, "...as much as I believe we should support and understand the needs of divorced and single parents, I feel even more strongly that we should not let our concern for them prevent us from looking unflinchingly at the experience of children of divorce." This book is unflinchingly, brutally honest about the negative effects of divorce on children.

The book addresses "What Marriage Does for Children" as well as many issues that children of divorced parents face. I grew up in an intact home, and I was shocked at some of the things children of divorce have to deal with, most of which you would never even imagine. Children of divorce will probably recognize themselves and their experiences, and perhaps feel a kinship with the study participants that might be beneficial. This book would help pastors, teachers, and anyone else who works with children, too, to understand what children of divorce face. This book is so fascinating and compelling, I cannot do it justice without writing an insanely long review, but at $7.99, it is a bargain that you'll enjoy far more than my review! I actually borrowed the book, but every time I try to return it to its rightful owner, I start reading it again! I am getting my own copy.

Another book that is often read after the fact. This book should be required reading in premarital counseling, marriage counseling when children are involved and certainly before two parents make the final decision to divorce. The book has many valid points that are not unobvious but are probably not considered in depth by parents who are about to uproot their children's world. I have read a few books on the subject and I myself am a `child of divorce'. Although these books have valuable information in them I believe they enable a `child of divorce' to blame many of their problems on this fact. I think most if not all children face some kind of hardship and quite honestly, if the only hardship you face is a `good divorce' I think you are still a very fortunate individual. Compare it to poverty, debilitating illness of a parent, death of a parent, addiction (child or parent) violence, sexual abuse, etc. and you are still ahead. Research shows that children of divorce are not any more likely to have a lasting marriage then their parents. This says to me that their parent's divorce did not negatively impact them enough to change the path for their own children.
Obviously, an intact healthy marriage is the ideal way for a child to grow up and I do not condone divorce, but we don't live in a perfect or even ideal world. This book and others I have read on the subject leave little hope for a `child of divorce' to get past this and create an enabling attitude. They state you will be forever affected by your parents' choice. Affected-yeah, but immobilized-no! No one gets to pick their parents and I am sure there are countless numbers of children who would trade places with `children of divorce' and would wind up much better off. If parents contemplating divorce read this book first it would be up them to decide if this is something they `need' to put their children through. It should certainly be avoided if possible but avoidable or not, once a child grows up they have a responsibility to themselves, their spouse and their children to deal with past hurts, disappointments and devastations. Call it callous but at what point do you just say `get over it'? You can't change it. You can only control your future and that of your children.

Since the 1960s, the Western world has embarked upon a novel and large scale social experiment: the demolition of marriage and the elevation of divorce. Never before in the West have so many marriages ended in divorce, and so many children been forced to endure the horrors of parental separation.

This seismic shift in marriage is as new as it is far-reaching. And because it is so recent, it has only been in the past few years that an entire generation of kids who have lived through divorce have grown up and are able to give their version of events.

And that story is uniformly damning: divorce hurts children, and it hurts them deeply and in a myriad of ways. And that hurt continues throughout adult life. Another clear message coming from the these children is that there is no such thing as a "good divorce".

Sure, in some cases divorce is the only option. But in the overwhelming majority of cases, divorce need not have been the option, and children of divorce desperately wished it did not happen. In truth, children of divorce "typically experience painful loses, moral confusion, spiritual suffering, strained or broken relationships, and higher rates of all kinds of social problems". Their world, in other words, is turned upside-down.

Marquardt argues that while divorce is a way for adults to cope with their problems, it is not in the best interests of the child in most cases. Allowing for certain obvious exceptions, most difficult marriages can be remedied if the parents are willing to work at it. Indeed, most marriages that end in divorce - two-thirds of them - are low-conflict. Children do not benefit from parental divorce. Indeed, "the best possible outcome for children is to live in one home with their mother and father".

And Marquardt has double reason to make these claims. One, she is herself the child of a divorce. And two, she has based her conclusions on a pioneering study of 1,500 young adults from both intact and divorced families. The study, conducted by her and sociologist Norval Glenn, have simply verified what most people know by common sense: divorce has numerous negative consequences for children, and many of those consequences stay with them for the rest of their lives.

This book examines in detail these findings. The actual facts and figures are there, but so too are numerous personal testimonies of those involved in the study. They put a human face on to the statistical data. And the face seen is a sad one indeed. Divorce impacts children profoundly, and the stories told here are tragic and moving.

The three year study made many disturbing discoveries. Meaty chapters explore the various negative outcomes for children of divorce. Consider just one area: the divided self of the child of divorce. The child is ripped out of a cohesive and unified environment (even where conflict takes place) and "suddenly inherits two distinct worlds in which to grow up".

Says Marquardt, every marriage experiences conflict, but there is an underlying cohesion and solidarity to the marriage which is radically destroyed by divorce. In marriage two individuals "become one flesh," but in divorce the parents are separated and become two people again. And the child - quite unprepared - is forced to deal with this new reality.

Adds Marquardt, "after a divorce the task that once belonged to the parents - to make sense of their different worlds - becomes the child's. The grown-ups can no longer manage the challenge, so the child is asked to try." But that is an adult responsibility which young children just cannot carry, a burden they cannot - and should not - bear.

As a result, children of divorce are much more likely than children of intact families to experience "confusion, isolation, and suffering". They are forced to become little adults. Their childhood is ripped away from them, and they are forced to grow up way too soon.

In an intact family, the children are the centre, the nucleus, and the parents work to protect them and nurture them. But after divorce, the two parents themselves become the centre, and children are left to fend for themselves.

In effect, adults start acting like children while the child is forced to act like an adult. That is an intolerable weight for any child to have to carry. And on it goes for the child of divorce. One painful chapter after another highlights the tremendous pressures and strains foisted upon the child of divorce, and the long-term wounds they cause.

Marquardt makes it clear that not every divorce is bad, and that she is not trying to argue that divorced parents are bad people. But she does insist that divorce is primarily about adults and their needs, and almost never about children and their needs. Very few have asked how divorce impacts the children involved.

This book makes it quite clear that children are overwhelmingly losers in divorce. There is very little good at all that children receive from parental divorce. The radical restructuring of a child's world after divorce should be our main consideration. But in most cases it is not.

Our world has been transformed from being a marriage-culture to a divorce-culture. Perhaps it is time that we became a child-friendly-culture. As Marquardt says, "we need to make sweeping changes to our thinking about marriage". And this book is a great place to begin with such a rethink.

I never really realized how much my parents' divorce bothered me until I read this book. That is not to say that this book convinced me of something that wasn't true; rather, I couldn't put my finger on what had happened to me until I read this book. I didn't become pregnant at 16 or drop out of school; in fact, I am a "successful" adult by the book's standards. However, I had no idea how to make a relationship work, and I trusted no one. Just knowing why really helped me in my current relationship!

In "Between Two Worlds" Marquardt, explores the consequences of divorce for children. Marquardt herself was the child of divorce, and it left her caught between two houses and feeling safe nowhere.

The statistics show the changes over the last 50 years. A huge increase in divorce and single parenthood is matched by a huge increase in drug abuse, sexual abuse, school difficulties, and emotional problems for our children.

And yet for 50 years, there have been cheery idiot articles and books about how to manage a "good" divorce. But as Marquardt shows, there are no good divorces for children.

Worse, there doesn't seem to be any easy way to repair the damage. Remarriage, statistically,is tied to an even higher number of problems than mere divorce. It does not replace the first marriage. A raft of grim statistics show just how badly most children fare in blended families. Very few ever feel attached to the new parent, very few ever do well in school again, very few go on to lead happy lives. And the statistics on those who are sexually and emotionally abused in blended families is incredible.

We have harmed our children and therefore we have harmed the future.

I wasn't sure children wrote these letters until I showed this book to our school nurse. She assured me these were not the worst she had heard. These letters should be read by all adults who have or work with children.

This book should be read by anyone directly involved in divorces that involve children.

The book is a collection of letters written by children to the judge handling the divorce/custody case of their parents.

Some letters or funny, some are sad and some will make you cry.

It is such a shame that the parents and their advocates often seem to forget that the children have an interest in the outcome of any divorce/custody case. From these letters it becomes obvious that in many cases the children are pawns used by one or both spouses to take out their rage toward the other.

The following are excerpts from some of the more poignant letters:

Letter 75. Dear Judge, Please send me the definition of Best Interest of the Child.

Letter 91. Dear Judge, I want to divorce my parents. Since they got divorced I do not like either one of them.

Letter 97. Dear Judge, I promise You and God to never do this to my children.

Letter 121. Dear Judge, Dont you care how I feel?

Letter 141. Dear Judge, It doesn't hurt any more. It doesn't feel any more.

It is very sobering reading. While I understand the hatred that can develop over a divorce, it seems inhumane for parents to take out their frustrations on the children or to put the children in the middle of a fight.

It is well worth reading for anyone dealing with the process of divorce involving children.

This book will make you laugh and cry, and in the end will leave sad about the state of families today.
The best argument for family court reform and the end of no-fault divorce I have ever seen.

Children are the real casualties of divorce and custody battles. The most important figures in their lives - their parents - often regress to belligerent and narcissistic infantilism. In their anguish, some kids turn to the only reliable grownup around: the judge.

This is a compilation of c. 190 letters (some of them mere heartbreaking one-liners) allegedly written by children embroiled in court proceedings to judges on the bench. A must read for parents who are contemplating ugly divorces. These quivering voices of tiny shattered lives put in perspective all that we "adults" hold dear and "worth fighting for". Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".

Parents choose to bring a child into our world. In making this choice, parents have a solemn obligation to nurture that child and see that he discovers the plan the Almighty has for his life. During the turmoil of a divorce, parents often forget this obligation and may come to view a child as a possession rather than as a person with his own special purpose.

Dear Judge has given a group of children the chance to remind us all that they are people not possessions. Possessions can be divided and shared. Children however, continue to need love and nurturance from those who chose to bring them into the world. Some children may also need to be protected from parents who brought them into the world to exploit rather than to nurture them. Heartbreaking letters from these children may also be found in this book.

Dear Judge is a must read for divorcing parents and those who advise them. It is good reading material for the waiting rooms of legal and mental health professionals. It is my hope that those who write our laws and those that interpret our laws will also read the children's letters. These letters are after all addressed to them.-Liane J. Leedom, M.D. ParentingtheAtRiskChild.com.