Adoption Books

"The Callender Papers" is the third book I've read by Cynthia Voigt, and I was not disappointed. If you've read these types of stories before, then you could probably predict everything, but I admit to not figuring it out until more than halfway through the story. The writing is very sophisticated, and I as pleased that a young pre-teen girl was portrayed as someone who had a decent head on her shoulders. I would have liked a better explanation about Mr. Callender and the events that took place - I found that entire passage explained much too fast. Otherwise, this book is very enjoyable. I recommend.

Although rather predictable, The Callender Papers is a very intersting read. Taking place in the 1800's the story follows Jean as she goes to Mr. Theil's house to catalogue his family papers over the summer. Knowing little about her own family, Jean soon discovers the mystery surrounding the death of Mr. Theil's wife. However, as Jean digs deeper into "the Callender Papers" she discovers the odd circumstances of Mrs. Theil's Death. As the tale unfolds Jean comes to realize that her own life may hang in the balance of the solving of the mystery.

Wonderfully written, Voigt is able to capture her audience again, in The Callender Papers. I really enjoyed this story, even if it was slow and predictable at times and I think that anyone who likes a quick-read historical fiction/mystery would enjoy this.

I thought this book was very exciting. There are lots of twists and turns. I couldn't put this book down. I couldn't wait to find out what happened at the end.

A good mystery, any mystery worth its salt, must maintain a sense of suspense throughout. This mystery does not. A thirteen year old orphan is permitted by her aunt (her parents' origins are a mystery) to take a job helping to catalogue the "Callender Papers", the documents of her aunt's childhood friend. As she works, she uncovers a mystery involving the death of a character's wife and the disappearance of a child when it was young. It takes very little time to figure out that the protagonist is indeed this child. Unfortunately, she is not spunky enough a heroine to make her adventures intriguing, even when she is put in danger.

The Callender Papers by Cynthia Voigt is a mystery novel about a young, adopted girl, Jean. She lives with her foster mother or "aunt", Miss Constance Wainwright, in Cambridge. Miss Constance is the owner of an all girls academy there. One day Mr. Thiel, who supports and gives money to the Academy, asks Jean to work for him in Marlborough, where he lives, over the summer. If she accepts, her job will be to sort papers that belong to his wife's family, the Callenders. Jean agrees and takes a trip to Marlborough, where she meets Mrs. Bywall, Mr. Thiel's servant and Mac, the son of the local doctor. Afterwards, she makes acquaintances with Enoch Callender, Mr. Thiel's brother-in-law, whom Mr. Thiel extremely dislikes. Enoch Callender invites Jean to dinner at his house and she accepts the offer. After dinner, Mr. Callender and Jean walk over to a place she finds is quite beautiful. Enoch Callender shows her a wooden board that he and his sister, Irene, used to cross the falls.

Every Sunday after that day, she goes to the Callender's house for lunch. One Sunday, Jean gets very sick and everybody in the house including the doctor, Mac's dad, suspects that she was poisoned.
Later, Jean finds Mr. Thiel's late father-in-law's will in the Callender papers she had been sorting through. She learns that Mr. Thiel and Irene Thiel, his wife that died ten years ago and Miss Constance's friend, had a child who suddenly disappeared after she died. She also learns that her favorite spot, the waterfall, is the place where Irene Thiel died. When Jean's visit to Marlborough is almost over, Mr. Thiel forbids her to visit Enoch Callender because he thinks that she was poisoned by him. She runs away to the falls and meets Enoch Callender there. He pulls the wooden board out from its hiding place and... which leaves Jean with a very important decision.
The main characters of The Callender Papers are Jean, Miss Constance, Mr. Thiel, Enoch Callender, and Mac. My favorite character is Enoch Callender because he has all kinds of different personalities. He's sly, mischievous, and not to be trusted, yet he has grace and wit, and he's good-looking. He often acts like he hasn't grown up, and he wants everything to be perfect. Enoch Callender is treacherous to cross. I, like Jean, have felt like I wanted to trust a person, but deep down I knew I couldn't. About a year ago, I found out a huge secret, my pretty reliable brother wanted to know what it was, and I wanted to tell him because I would've enjoyed having somebody to talk to about it, but I thought that he might tell. Also, resembling Jean, when there is some big event about to happen and I wasn't told of it, I feel like I know nothing about what is going on and want desperately to find out. Just as Mr. Thiel overly protects Jean, I have felt that my parents were being much too overprotective of me and I wanted to have a little more freedom to do what I want. I can relate to this narrative and I believe other kids will be able to also.
The Callender Papers is a vibrant, exciting, wonderful novel that I couldn't put down until I had finished the last sentence. My favorite part is when Jean finally starts to figure out what happened to Irene Thiel, Irene's child, and the child's nurse. I don't really have a least favorite part and I don't think I would change anything at all because the story is perfect the way it is. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone because it is mysterious and it keeps giving hints about what truly happened, though no one can really understand the clues until the very end. Also, it grows scary as it nears the end of the book. My brothers and I usually enjoy spooky and frightening books and I believe many other kids do too. Someone who likes mystery, secretiveness, and happy endings would take pleasure in reading this tale of a girl and the secrecy behind her life.

I bought this book for a friend who has adopted a little girl. Both she and her 3 year old daughter love this book and read it over and over (not just on her birthday). Really sweet and true to life.

We bought this for our dauther's 4th birthday and she LOVES it. I thought it could be too advanced compared to one of our other favorites, "Crazy Cakes." This is a different kind of story, but one well worth sharing. Our girls, 4 & 7, enjoy all of the connections to Chinese culture and traditions, as well as watching the baby grow into a young girl as they have. They easily see themselves and their "story" in the main character. Parents likewise will not be disappointed with this story. Lewis came up with another that pulls at the heartstrings, especially for the lucky parents of Chinese daughters.

In Rose Lewis's follow-up to I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, readers watch as her real life daughter, Alexandra Mae-Ming Lewis, celebrates her first birthdays.

After being adopted from China, Alexandra comes home with her new mother to America. There are a number of relatives who come to visit, bringing presents and wanting to catch a glimpse of the new arrival.

From her first birthday surrounded by friends and family, to her fifth birthday spent watching the dragon boat festival, we watch as Alexandra explores the world around her, and even becomes a US citizen.

And each year, on her birthday, her mother thinks about the place that her daughter left behind, and even the mother who gave birth to her -- and gives thanks for the joy and love that she has been blessed with.

Once again, Jane Dyer's beautiful illustrations perfectly illustrate Rose and Alexandra's story, which is sure to delight both children and parents alike.

Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"

Reviewed by Olivia Alejandre (age 4) for Reader Views (1/08)

Mom's review / summary:

A must for all families who adopted from China, and probably for other adopted kids, too. This book beautifully presents the wonders of adoption and respect of the culture and background of the child's birthplace. The clothes, the artwork, and the story all seem to be in tune with Chinese culture.

For other families, it's a wonderful way to explain the joys of adoption. We want to make sure our daughter has a respect for various backgrounds and family structures, so this helped us talk about an important topic with a cute story. But, since she can't directly relate to it (with friends or family), it's not a book that she wants to read over and over again. I can imagine, though, that a family who has adopted would love reading this on a regular basis.

She did ask about the six girls in the orphanage and why there weren't any boys, so I had a tough time explaining that without saying anything that a four-year-old couldn't handle. It's a good discussion to have with an older child, but I'm not comfortable going into all the reasons with someone of Olivia's age.



Some quotes from Olivia's discussion with Mommy about the book, "Every Year on Your Birthday"

"That's the pretend moon on the water."

[Mom]: "I was waiting for you to come out of my tummy."
"And, you hoped that I was a girl. And, I was a girl."

"She's two!"

"When babies have just been born, they look very small. Every part of their body looks very small."

"The baby and bear are the same size. And, the baby is way bigger than the bear."

"The face on the girl is pretty, and so is the dress, and the white shoes."

"Those babies look the same age."

"Some puppies are small and some puppies are really big, like that white dog that lives near Grandpa's house."

"That's the prettiest boat. I thought it was a big floatie but it was a boat."

"Look, she's way bigger now."

[Mom]: "What do you think about adopting babies?"
"Nice. If someone adopts a baby, that daddy and mommy have to find another baby so they can have their own baby."

This book is o.k., but the story gets a little too personal at times. It seems to be more of a story for the author's friends and relatives than the general public. My daughter also seems to lose interest pretty quickly in the story.

In this sensitive, intelligent and witty account of a girl from China being adopted by U.S. parents, the author has successfully related both the emotional and factual elements of the adoption process. I especially liked the fact that the book has been written from the child's point of view. My wife and I adopted a girl from China several years ago, and this book has been a godsend to us. As we read the book to our daughter, Sarah, we realized that the author was saying all those things we had been feeling and wanting to say, yet couldn't find the words for.

I might also add that although the child in this book, Elizabeth, is from China, I feel the story is universal and applies equally well to kids from the United States or other countries.

I can not recommend this book highly enough for parents who have adopted or are considering adopting. You are truly undertaking a journey of love... a journey that is described accurately and poignantly by the author.

As an adoptive parent of two daughters, I've read many adoption books and this one is exceptional! Mommy Far introduces themes for readers aged pre-school and up in a gentle and compelling way. Brownell's wonderful illustrations heighten the loveliness of this book. The message that adoption is warm and good and loving is inescapable and very powerful.

What I really loved is the fact that the story is told by a child to other children- the book's readers. 'This is my story,' she seems to be saying,'And this is how I came to understand it.'

With the daughter Elizabeth as narrator, it is the story of a little girl, adopted from China, coming to the realization of what adoption really means for herself, her family, her sister
and both sets of parents. More importantly it is the journey Elizabeth takes to understanding her journey into adoption and the vital role both mothers play in her life.

It contains loving adoption games created by mother and daughter.
Elizabeth's continued child's play using pretend phone calls from Mommy Far illustrates her growing understanding of two mommies. Elizabeth's birthmother is portrayed in very sensitive and undertsnding terms, both in text and illustrations. The young heroine ultimately concludes that both mothers have their time and place and both can fit into her life.

While this would be a wonderful addition to any library, it is especially significant for those touched by international and transracial adoptions.

As an adoptive mom who has spent the past few years reading 'best practices' books on talking with kids about adoption by both experts and adult adoptees, I had hoped this storybook would be a helpful addition to our library. Unfortunately, I was extremely disappointed in this book. Some of the language the mother in the story uses to talk to her daughter about the circumstances of her daughter's adoption are completely inappropriate for any child. The author offers a clumsy, misguided, and age-inappropriate description of China's one-child policy that I found disturbing ("Your parents couldn't keep you, they already had a child"). Furthermore, many adoption experts point out that it is demeaning (not to mention confusing) to adopted kids to compare adoption of a child to that of an animal. This author chooses to make a very direct connection to taking ownership of an animal from the animal shelter to the child's own adoption. What makes these critical flaws all the more disappointing is that the book contains some truly wonderful descriptions of the connection between the child and her forever mom, as well as lovely illustrations.

For readers looking for a well-written storybook for younger children that helps open discussions about birth families, try Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children by Sherrie Eldridge. You won't be disappointed.

The title of this charming book already tells us that the author includes the birthmother in the family's lives. This adoption story is told by the young child Elizabeth and shows her thought process as she looks at her adoption album and consoles her mother when she didn't have a baby yet, but now she does. The author also charmingly introduces Penny, the dog adopted from an animal shelter and young Elizabeth is happy for Penny to have a family too. It is fun to see the two little Chinese girls talk about their "far mommy and a near mommy" and fantasize talking to their far mommy on the toy telephone. The author cleverly weaves in the adoptive family's love for the two unknown Chinese birthmothers and throughout the pages lets us feel Elizabeth's joy and sorrow when she thinks of her unknown Chinese mommy. Our family has experienced this kind of love for our own birthmother during all the years that we did not know her, but now we have found one another and have a wonderful relationship.

Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

The book is wonderful.....but not at all relevant for a single mom who adopted from China. There are several references to Daddy. I was disappointed. The book is useless to me. I wish there was a single mom version of this book. At a minimum, I wish the book description would have told me that this was a book with references to a two parent situation (Mommy and Daddy) as I wouldn't have bought it.

Great story for adoptive families. My favorite bit: "Nikolai holds up his paws and claws the air. He waits for the smooth-faced woman to say "Play nice." But she does not. The smooth-faced woman claws the air and holds Nikolai's paw in hers." Be aware, the book is full of references to "orphan" however--parents will find themselves substituting other words as they read.

My husband and I love reading this story to our daughter. She is two and we are just starting to share her connection with Russia (she is adopted). The pictures are not bright and colorful- but she likes to look at all the faces. She growls when Nikolai does and is engaged from start to finish. Beautiful story!

This gentle story is one of my favorites. I share studio space with the grandma of a little boy who's adopted from this children's home, then referred to as Orphanage Number One (It's nice that the name has changed, isn't it? When I wrote the story, it was called Orphange Number One. Children's Home is certainly a kinder expression). Luckily, the little boy's family had videos of the children's home, which I studied before I wrote the story. His grandma and parents told me many of the details of the home, including the surprising children/caregiver ratio, which I included in the story. While these are accurate details, they also suited the story I wanted to tell.

I wanted to tell a story about belonging, not about rescuing. If I'd depicted the home in a dark light (though sadly accurate in many places), then it would have been a story about rescuing. I wanted Nikolai to have a quiet dignity. If no one understood him, it was wasn't because he was naughty or unappealing, it was because none of the "keepers" spoke bear! In the story, "Many orphans come and go. Nikolai stays. He has not found a family." Nikolai doesn't feel sorry for himself, he just continues on in his bearish ways. Then, one winter day, a fur-faced man comes along who understands Bear. Later, he brings his wife who has "moonlight hair and lake water eyes." When Nikolai claws the air, she claws, too, then holds Nikolai's paw in hers. Nikolai understands that these are visitors are like him, bearish, and he belongs with them.

It is the quiet certainty of belonging that help children understand--whether birth children or adopted--that they have a home, that they will always have a home--because this is their family.

I agree with the first review. Russian kids know they came from "children's homes", not "orphanages." Very few of the kids in them are "orphans." They know perfectly well that they have birth parents over there. Why confuse them? The book should use the correct terminology. Not "politically" correct....just factual and accurate.

I've read critical reviews of this book, based upon the fact that it features a bear, and uses the words "orphans" and "orphanages." I respectfully disagree.

I am a youth services librarian and a children's programmer. In all the storytimes I've ever done, I've never had a toddler or preschooler fail to identify with a well-written Picture Book, just because it featured an animal as its protagonist. In the same way that children often cuddle up with their stuffed animals at bedtime, they tend respond well to animals as main characters in Picture Books.

Nikolai the bear feels different from the other orphans. The staff don't speak his language. His games are perceived as too wild and rough by staff members. They seem unable to communicate with him or understand his motivations.

What I loved about Nikolai's adoptive parents was how, from the moment they came to retrieve him at the orphanage (yes, I said that word), they made every effort to connect with him. If he growled, they growled back. When he clawed the air, his adoptive mother reflected that gesture back to him.

They weren't afraid to take his hand (um, paw) in theirs and express pride and joy in his accomplishments. Because of their acceptance and approachability, Nikolai begins to trust them.

Read this story. It is lovely, it is tender, it is magnificent. It is beautiful.

PS - I should mention that I am a former foster child. Call it by any euphemism that you choose... the experience is still the same. I am still waiting for a book about foster care that I can read aloud to children, besides perhaps "A Mother for Choco."

I wish every child's experience in foster care had the happy ending experienced by Nikolai in this story. I hope that someday a book will be written that can be read aloud to young children; one that touches on the subject of foster care in such an emotionally perceptive way.

I really don't like this book. I am having to force myself to read it.

My two open adoptions were so positive that when I read this book it came across as discouraging. I got the sense that the author had a negative experience with open adoption or was insecure. Sorry to say I wouldn't recommend this book.

If I were adopting today and had read this thoughtful book, I would jump at the opportunity for an open adoption. The information on pre-adoption and placement aspects is persuasive for both adoptive and birth parents, especially since the author is non-judgmental. When you think about it, open adoption seems ideal for both parties involved. Really a utopia. I get goose bumps thinking about it. And yet. . . yet. . . The U.S. has gone from one extreme of adoption practice (secrecy) to another, openness. Unfortunately, the adversarial relationship between advocates and critics of openness in adoption is exacerbated by lack of empirical research. It is this lack of empirical evidence that should caution prospective adoptive parents about this new extreme practice. Lois Ruskai Melina�s book was published in 1993, but we have now at least one large longitudinal study on openness. Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy report in their study, Openness in Adoption, Exploring Family Connections (Sage 1998): �The clearest policy implication of our work is that no single type of adoption is best for everyone.� These authors warn that the long-term impact of openness for all parties in the adoptive kinship network is not known and longitudinal research is necessary to answer this question. We now have a generation of children who grew up in open adoptions, and we need to find out from them, now that they are adults, how they perceived the practice in their lives. We do not have such a comprehensive study of their experiences, but only anecdotal records. Even if some adoptive and birth parents like openness, this does not mean that the practice is good for the children. Some research also indicates that birthmothers who see their children suffer more than those who do not see them.
I am an adoptive mother of a secret adoption and was always opposed to secrecy, but since we met our wonderful birthmother 29 years later (she found us) I�m even more opposed to it, seeing what secrecy has done to her. I think I would have loved to have had an open arrangement with her, yet she says that she could not have coped with openness. It would have driven her insane to visit her baby and not be able to take her home. She would greatly have preferred a semi-open practice over a secret one. Incredible to me, our daughter, now age 34, would again have wanted a closed adoption because she does not want to think about the confusion her loving birthmother would have created in her child�s mind and heart. This issue drives one to distraction because one wants a clear answer to what practice is best, and there isn�t one.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

I was a little hesitant about the whole open adoption situation, until I read this book. It really helped me to understand how open adoptiongs work. This is a well written and practical book. If you only read one book on open adoption, read this one!

I found this book really helpful, and wished that I had discovered it sooner. Besides just being a good primer on open adoption, it has very useful sections about "Readiness for Open Adoption", "Choosing Each Other", "Getting to Know Each Other" and parts titled "Birth and Placement" and "The Relationship Grows and Changes" - which discusses what to expect during the first year, and as the relationship grows and changes over time. It also discusses how open adoption affects the children in the families - adopted or otherwise. It also includes what to do/how to handle the situation when the Birthmom cancels the adoption plan. Overall, I thought it was a great book, as it had a good balance between the birth parents' perspective and that of the adoptive parents.

This is the book ALL adoptee's should read. We are not alone and we are not crazy.

If you are an adopted daughter or son, an adoptive parent, or a mother who has given a baby to be adopted: this book must be read by you!
Even though it is mainly addressed to the adult adoptee as some kind of self-help guide, it gives wonderful information to all of those touched by adoption and its consequences.

You should only read this book after having gone through "The primal wound", as many of the issues introduced there are assumed in this book.

I bought this book (and "The primal wound") after finding out from my ex wife about my adoptive son's acting out when in her house and about the danger he was exposing himself to. I was apalled to discover how this was no novelty in an adoptive child, and how the separation from his biological mother had affected him forever. I also found so many behavior examples that described my son's attitudes.

There's a lot of harsh reality in this book that I recognized as true but had to take my own sweet time to come to grips with. Adoption did shape my personality, and the hard fact is that nobody is ever going to be able to change that but me (and whatever professional I trust to help me). I saw a lot of myself in this book--I am hypervigilant, sad, angry, burdened by shame, etc. Coming Home to Self is invaluable in bringing such things to light.

But "EMDR"? This therapy method has been, to my mind and via my research, thoroughly debunked. Knowing this makes me mistrust every other scientific study or psychological "fact" Verrier cites. Can I trust her to tell me about the effect of a pregnant woman's emotions on her fetus? About the limbic system? About how adoptees can heal? Verrier cites several such therapies (and they all have trendy acronyms) essentially as quick fixes. The idea that bilateral eye movements or their aural equivalent can magically "cure" me feels very much like a belittling of the pain she spends so much time telling me it's OK to feel. It also feels like a Band-Aid slapped onto what Verrier knows damned well is wrong with the adoption industry as it exists today: Your child may grow up confused and self-loathing under the closed records system, but a little hocus-pocus will make it all OK once s/he's grown.

These gripes address a very small part of a very thick book that was helpful overall. I'd still recommend adoptees read the works of Betty Jean Lifton before this.

I have read Primal Wound 3 times. First before I adopted a child, then immediately after I adopted my daughter, and again 3 years later.

I will never be detached..this is a tough read. But I do have a background in neuroscience and research that made me skeptical about her persona as a scientist.

Her sample size is very small, and as far as the "effects of being adopted" she pretty much describes every tempermant and behavior known to man and gives some link to how it is shaped by adoption.

Shy? guarded because of adoption
gregarious ? seeking approval because of adoption
get homesick? lack of security because of adoption
want to leave home at 18? must be adoption
don't want to leave? must be adoption
high achieving? adoption
low achieving? yup, you guessed it..its adoption!!

I am not so naive that I think that adoption is not a trauma on some level for both adoptee and birth parent, but I cannot underscore enough how I think trauma is processed differently depending on the individual.

I think we are doing a service to adopted persons when we swing from the "grateful adoptee" paradigm to the "wounded tragedy" paradigm. With gratefulness, we failed to acknowledge the losses, and did not allow grieving. With this paradigm, I feel that adoptees are being convinced that all of their problems are rooted in their relinquishment, and only when they are walking around with a giant gaping psychic wound are they "addressing their true feelings."

Is there an option for an adopted person to feel sad or angry or uncomfortable about being seperated from their first family but at peace, and even happy to be in the family that raised them?

Can a birth mother only show her love for her child by being haunted and tormented, or is it okay for her to be sad about the need to be in the situation but at peace with doing what she thought was right?

There is a phrase in the book where she refers to a feeling and a connection to a child that only "biological mothers know." WHAT?

Before you roll your eyes, I have a biological child as well. Carrying a child is wonderful, and amazing. But I can tell you that aside from seeing my physical self in my other child, I don't feel any deeper insight into his needs and psyche than I do with my daughter, who is my child through adoption.

In a way, as adoptive parents, I feel we are often given an advantage in the parenting realm..we are often required to confront our most fundamental feelings and motivations, we take classes, read books, to try and help us best parent our children. As much as a cliche as this in the adoption world, if all parents had to do what most adoptive parents do, there would be a lot less parents in general.

"Coming Home to Self" is an excellent follow-up to "Primal Wound" for those who want to know, "Where to from here?" It's heavier reading, to be sure, and should be approached studiously. In doing so, however, one finishes with a wealth of information on what happened to us when we were separated from our mothers, how it has impacted our lives, and how we can stop surviving and start living.

There's so much here that it's impossible to summarize. Suffice to say I was both abandoned as a baby and then adopted children, and certainly wish I had read Verrier's books before doing the latter. It would have made the experience far easier and, hopefully, helped avoid many of the traps she writes about--and that I experienced. This, and "Primal Wound," should be read by every mental health care professional.

While many reviewers applauded the author's "passion" on this controversial issue I found Riben's personal grievances distracting and banal. I was surprised that anyone would describe this book as "journalistic" considering the one-sided presentation of adoption. Evils do exist in adoption, especially in what is considered the "adoption industry". However, Riben loses her focus and veers off on a tangent about all that is "demoniacal" about adoptive parents or anyone with a desire to parent another person's child.

I believe this book is worth reading if only for the benefit of knowing the extremist points of view that exist in the "anit-adoption" sect. However, if you are looking for a solution-oriented literary vista for the future of adoption that is rooted in reality I highly recommend reading any of Elizabeth Batholet's books.NOBODY'S CHILDREN: Abuse and Neglect, Foster Drift, and the Adoption Alternative

If the topic was appropriate for a sixth grade class I would use this book to demonstrate to my students why they need to be critical readers and how authors use the following persuasive techniques to manipulate the reader:

* Broad Generalization
* Circular Thinking and Either/Or
* Bandwagon Appeal and Appeal to Ignorance

This book is chock full of contradictions and I found myself arguing with the author (sometimes out loud...startling my husband) over the raw and blatant bias she has toward adoptive parents and the picture of beaten down, innocent, victim natural mothers who apparently all had their babies stolen from them. I recognize and acknowledge that there are, tragically, a tremendous number of women in the era of Georgia Tann and her contemporaries indeed did have their children stolen from them. However, Riben would have us believe that this is the case for 99.9% of the natural mothers surrendering their children for adoption. Furthermore, she paints a picture of adoptive parents, particularly adoptive mothers, as vicious baby snatchers waiting outside the labor and delivery room salivating at the prospects of getting their hands on someone else's baby which believe they are entitled to and will stop at no expense to get. Did I mention that these baby-snatchers-in-waiting are all supposedly white, rich women?

Riben provides the reader with an overview of all the cases in the media of adopted children being killed by their adoptive parents. Yet she fails to mention that such legislation as the ASFA came "...after numerous documented reports of children being killed after their return to abusive homes" (Lubit, Billick, & Pizarro, 2002). One most recent example is of Kaleb Lay who was murdered after being removed from foster care and reunited with his parents (you can check Google with his name to read recent articles.)

Adoption is not a panacea ~ neither is foster care or family preservation at all costs. Protecting the rights of children is, at least in theory, what all purport to be their sole mission. Sadly, the "hidden agendas" of many supposed adoption advocates tends to make the most noise and the "squeaky wheel gets the oil" in the end while the children, without a voice, pay the price for all of the polemics.

For a truly intelligent assessment of the impact of a market approach to adoption I highly recommend L. Anne Babb's book Ethics in American Adoption.Ethics in American Adoption

This book actually says that on page 10, last paragraph of the Forward. I quote, ". . . current unethical adoption . . . in the US exist to service greedy, needy adults." On page 12, last paragraph of the Forward it talks about the, "horrific (which I take that to mean evil) realities of . . . adoption . . . in the United States." The rest of the book is nothing but an exercise in how many ways Riben can say that all adoptive parents are needy and greedy, and adoption is evil.

The book applauds the fact that the Socialists in Australia have gained a strangle hold on available children and virtually eliminated adoption in that country. The book states that there's only 2 options for children in Australia, staying with their biological parents thru welfare parent payments or foster care. The book praises this as being genuinely child centered.

An apt illustration of how out of touch with reality Riben is, the stock market graph on the cover of the book runs backwards from right to left.

Adoption surrounds us. We all know someone who has considered adoption, is adopted, or has given up a child for adoption. Law and society have evolved, so that adoption is celebrated, no longer a shameful secret. Few, however, are aware of the less-savory side of adoption, nor its ongoing impact on our country. In her new book, "The Stork Market: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry," author Mirah Riben tackles the truth behind the myths.

"Infant adoption is a multi-billion dollar unregulated industry... run by those with little or no training or education in the field of child welfare or social services. It has become a total distortion of the intended purpose of finding homes for orphaned children, and instead exploits mothers and commodifies their children," Riben says.

According to the author's research, adoption hasn't progressed much since the orphan trains of the nineteenth century. Anyone can be an "adoption professional," for there are no requirements or standards. Today's baby brokers use the Internet to ply their trade, while state agencies push children into unmonitored homes to claim federal subsidies. Celebrity adoptions demonstrate the widespread disregard for the rules.

Prospective adoptive parents are among the victims of this horrific trade. Vulnerable in the face of infertility, they are presented with an idealized picture that neglects detail. "The fact is that adoption is a business; babies are priced based on age, race, ethnicity, health, and physical ability." Corruption is rampant, and a failed outcome can be devastating. Riben offers guidelines to avoid being victimized, and recommends a thorough background check of any adoption agent.

Although most adoptions today are considered "open," these words have little legal meaning for a birth mother. Riben quotes the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC), "Unless sanctioned by law, agreements for post-adoption contact are purely voluntary and cannot be enforced in court." The promise of open adoption lures expectant mothers to ensure a steady supply of adoptable infants. "The reality is that there is no guarantee that adoption will provide a better life, only a different one."

The author also addresses the plight of those adult adoptees whose records are sealed, and who therefore face considerable obstacles in learning their background. "Adoption records were never sealed to protect mothers who surrender-or those adopted-and do not exist now for their protection." Those who lobby against open records do so on behalf of the brokers, to secure their bottom line. "Maintaining sealed adoption records does not "protect" mothers-or adoptees-from shame; it legitimizes it."

Evelyn Robinson, one of Australia's leading adoption experts, asks in the book's foreword, "What is wrong with adoption in the United States... Greed and consumerism masquerade as altruism, as parents and children are drawn into a quicksand of legal and illegal adoption." She continues, "[Adoption] should be about finding homes for children who are unable to live with their families, after all efforts have been made to keep the family together."

Through comparison with Australian methods, Riben offers a future for American adoption. Payments of all kinds should be eliminated, she says, and objective counseling provided to expectant mothers. Contact between expectant mothers and prospective adopters should be curtailed, and certification of adoption practitioners made mandatory. Penalties for human trafficking would further discourage the brokering of babies.

"The Stork Market" is a compelling and disturbing look at the state of adoption in America. Describing the progress that has already been made, Riben says, "The profit motive and corruption in adoption cannot be mended; it must be ended."

About The Reviewer

Triona Guidry, an adoptee and mother of two, is a freelance writer and consultant.

From the beginning of state regulated closed records adoption in the early 1930s, state legislatures, social workers, and adoption agencies painted adoption as giving both birth mothers and adoptees a clean slate, a new life, not encumbered by the taint of being labeled a whore, slut, or bastard. As such, what was to become the adoption industry has painted a picture a la a Norman Rockwell painting of an idealized American family where adoption creates a seamless garment that is in the best interest of not only the birth mother and child but also in the best interest of adoptive parents.

However, since the publication of Jean Patton's book, Breaking Silence, in 1954 the rose colored glasses have come off for birth mothers, adoptees, and adoptive parents. At first slowly but with ever increasing awareness and force, birth mothers and adoptees began the painful self-discovery that secrecy in adoption is not in their best interest; in fact, the closed records system of adoption has created generations of both birth mothers and adoptees not simply scared by the experience but traumatized for life. Birth mothers found that they can never forget the child they had been coerced into relinquishing as they had been told they would by their clergy, doctors, and social workers. Adoptees found that even in the happiest of adoptive families they cannot deny feelings of not quite belonging, not quite fitting in, and that there is an empty hole in their lives.

In 1971 Florence Fisher authored, The Search for Anna Fisher and founded the Adoption Liberation Movement Association and in 1975 Emma May Vilardi founded the International Soundex Reunion Registry to facilitate the reunion of birth mothers and adoptees. Also during the 1970 daytime talk shows hosted by Phil Donahue and Merv Griffin began to facilitate reunions and broadcast them on their shows. In 1978 Lee Campbell formed Concerned United Birthparents and was invited to give input into the writing of the Model State Adoption Act which would revolutionize adoption in America by striking down state laws that mandated closed records adoption. Also in 1978 the American Adoption Congress was formed and held the first ever march on Washington to raise public awareness of the problems caused by secrecy in adoption and the need to open adoption records for adult adoptees.

It looked like meaningful reform in adoption law was just a step away. However, such reform was extremely threatening to the multi-billion dollar per year adoption industry comprised of adoption attorneys, social workers, and private adoption agencies. Not only would such reform change the landscape of their cash cow, but it also held the possibility that as birth mothers and adoptees reunited the many unethical, immoral, and illegal practices of adoption attorneys and adoption agencies would come to light resulting in crippling law suits.

Consequently, the National Council for Adoption was formed in 1980 as an industry trade group of adoption attorneys and adoption agencies to both block the Model State Adoption Act from becoming federal law and to prohibit state legislatures from passing open records laws. To provide a philosophical and legal base for both the federal government and state legislatures from passing open records legislation, the Uniform Adoption Act was promoted by the National Council for Adoption and drafted by the National Conference of Commissioners of Uniform State laws in 1990. One key provision of this Act is that if accepted by the federal government or state legislatures it would seal all adoption records for 99 years.

To date neither the federal government nor any state has accepted the Uniform Adoption Act in toto, but the opponents of open adoption records use it as a bully pulpit to convince state legislators not to open adoption records.

In the words of Sherlock Holmes, "The game is now afoot." This game pits the adoption industry represented by special interest groups including the National Council for Adoption, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Associated Catholic Charities, Right to Life groups, the American Civil Liberties Union, and adoption attorneys against the God given and civil rights of birth mothers, adoptees, and adoptive parents to access adoption records that pertain only to them that are currently being held hostage by the states.

This game has produced much heat, little light, and a bellicose cloud of dense smoke that obstructs the true nature and cost of adoption to all parties of the triad.

That is why Mirah Riben's book, The Stork Market: America's multi-billion dollar unregulated adoption industry is such an important contribution to the field. Ms. Riben's research is impeccable and her writing style clear and cogent.

In a few short chapters Ms. Ribin deconstructs the myth of the happy birth mother and happy adoptee and replaces it with the cold reality of an activist industry out of control that has lost sight of the fact that adoption must be in the best interest of the child or it becomes an unethical, immoral, and sometimes illegal act. In doing so Ms. Riben covers all of the pertinent bases: the history of adoption reform; the unethical, immoral, and sometimes illegal practice of adoption attorneys and agencies; the issue of birth mother and adoptee rights; the nature of parenthood and family; the parameters of international adoption; and the increasingly important question of father's rights.

Ms. Riben also includes documentary notes and an index as well as a conclusion that considers goals regarding how the existing system of adoption can be fixed.

The Stork Market: America's multi-billion dollar unregulated adoption industry is a well researched and well written book that in the words of the late Howard Cossell, "Tells it like it is." It is noteworthy that Ms. Riben "tells it like it is" without the histrionics and ax grinding so often found in books of this genre. Rather, like Nietzsche and Kierkegaard, she pulls back the veneer of the warm fuzzies of the social institution of adoption to expose the rot at its core perpetrated by the adoption industry.

I highly recommend The Stork Factory: America's multi-billion dollar unregulated adoption industry to all members of the adoption triad, state legislators, and the general public. With one out of three American families touched by adoption, this book is a must read for any thinking person interested in the truth of adoption.

About the Reviewer:

Msgr. John W. Sweeley, Th.D. is an adoptee and father of three adopted sons. He is a life member of Bastard Nation: The Adoptee Rights Organization and a member of the Executive Committee of Massachusetts Access Rights To All.

We have 2 boys we adopted from our state's foster system and a birth sibling little girl we're hopeing to adopt. While the pages are not exciting, this is a great book to record a fostered/adopted child's information. This book provides a place for answers children may want to learn about their adoption and why they came into foster care. I too like you can remove the pages that aren't relevent. There is a place for a birth family tree, and adopted family tree and even a family tree for single adoptive parents. I do wish there were more blank pages provided and the book was a little less spendy.

I would not nessisarily recommend this book for international or domestic private adoptions. It is the best record keeper for life stories and as a "baby book" for an older child.

Apparently there is an error in the barcoding and/or labeling in the warehouse. I have twiced received the wrong book (And Then There Was Me), when trying to order "This Is Me." The book I have received has two barcode labels on the back cover, one for each of the books. PLEASE, PLEASE, correct this error so other customers can receive the book they order. The quality of the book I have received is very nice and I really like the listed content pages of the book I am trying to order; I just wish the two could get together and I could have received the desired book by the baby shower date. Alas, no such luck. PLEASE CORRECT THIS!

I love this book because: The pages are removable so I can take out the ones that are not applicable. I am a single Mom and the book does not talk about Mom and Dad so it will work for any kind of family. I am not a big fan of the front cover, however i am handy and plan on making fabric covers for my boys books.

This is a perfect baby book for any adopted baby. It has so many removable pages so that you can really tailor it to your adoption situation. There are pages for information on birth family trees, foster care givers, lawyers, judges, social workers, etc. I am impressed with all of the things that will help us to document our adoption story accurately. I looked and looked -- read so many reviews -- before I ordered it, and I am so happy with it.

I looked at many books before deciding on this one. I chose "This is Me" because I adopted a 5 year old and don't know all the "first year firsts".
My biggest complaint is the book I received was for a Russian adoption. I've looked at my order slip and the item online and can't find where it specifies for me to choose the country. That takes out 7 pages (Tell me about my native country, visits in the baby house, maternity hospital, orphanage visit, favorite things about the country, citizenship ceremony& why did you adopt from Russia).
The pages are very bland. It's the same page throughout the book. White paper with lines to write on and a set of handprints for a border on the side. For the price it would be nice to have a little variety.
On a positive note, I LOVE that the pages are removable. It has alot of pages I can use. There are pages for birth parent information, 2 family trees, celebrating birthdays 1-18, school years from preschool to 12th grade, health information, why did you adopt me, placement & finalization days, favorite things, important people, activities, religion, first things with new family, etc.
Overall, I am satisfied with this book and the things I like outweigh the things I don't.

When I read this book, I wondered why one particular birthmother chose to write such a scathing review. Moorman does not appear to think she's better than other birthmothers--she was merely stating her experiences. The fact that she didn't want to join certain groups should not be a reason to "trash" her as well as her book. Nor should Moorman be judged that she seemed delighted just to get a nice letter from her son. As a birthmother, I could relate to that; maybe she was deliriously happy just to know he really existed. Maybe she's giving her son time to get used to the fact that she "found" him.

Birthmoms' experiences and situations frequently ARE different. For example, Moorman had no other children until she was almost past child-bearing age. I believe she did feel different because of that.

I think Moorman's book reflects the reliving of her painful journey toward contact with her son. The author concludes the book as she does because her psyche needs to absorb all that has happened to her, all that she has written about. Though I would like to know more about the long-term reactions of her son, it's scary for a birthmom to say much about a relationship that is so new, and possibly fragile. That may be another reason why Moorman concludes her book with the letter--and her reaction to it.

I first read My Sister's Keeper by Ms. Moorman to get an idea of what it was like having a sibling with a mental illness. That memoir left me upset but curious in the way she informes the reader almost offhandedly that she gave up a baby in her teens. I wanted to get a fuller picture of her life and what became of her situation, so I read WTF. (For the record, I am not part of the adoption triangle in any way.)

A few things that made an impression on me was the fact that her mother was as useless as she was. In My Sister's Keeper, you get a larger picture of why she was the way she was, and Moorman seems to forgive her of her failings, but in this book her mother's crassness and hostility came to the forefront. So much tragedy in such a small family, and absolutely NO support whatsoever. Heartbreaking.

Another thing that will probably always stick with me was the observation that African Americans "make an adoption plan" far less than Caucasians, and a quote from a woman who said, "You give away puppies, not babies." This really made an impression on me.

I was aware that the author was a "left-leaning liberal Democrat" (her words) before I read this book, but when she openly says that she would have had an abortion if it were afforded her, it was jolting to my senses. I know Ms. Moorman was trying to be honest and open, but to put something like that out there for everyone, especially her "birthson" to read, seemed cruelly insensitive, even heartless.

This book seems to be written at a distance, even though the author spent countless hours in therapy. She seems to be an observer of her life, and that is probably due to her beloved father's unexpected death. I don't buy the idea that she got pregnant to replace her father, and I don't buy that she got pregnant the second time to replace her mother - much of her philosophising comes off very kooky to me.

I wonder what her outcome would have been like had her father not have passed away when he did; she may have been a little warmer in personality from having received genuine parental love (and not having to put every spare compliment her mother gave her in a "velvet box" to take out every once in awhile to admire) and support, and not been so alone so much of her life.

Although this is not a book of very much length, it seems as if the author uses the pages for journaling her therapy and what she learned from it. I wasn't interested in how she dealt with her personal issues of why she went with certain men, why she left her marriage, etc.

By the end, I was worn out from the details of every move she made and didn't make. No big firework ending, either, but I wasn't expecting one.

Author Moorman obviously wrote her story the way she experienced it--not the way others believe she "should have" experienced it. One has to admire this kind of independence. It is sad that one or two birthmothers have "trashed" her work out of jealousy or spite. Birthmothers have all experienced the same pain of loss and should join together--not [belittle] those who give voice to dissimilar opinions. This book is excellent reading for someone just beginning to search. But, the searcher should read a variety of books! There are many experiences and many opinions; they all should be examined and weighed.

I am a woman in the process of adopting a child. I wanted to learn about birthmoms, and their feelings, so I read this book. I had a hard time with some of the sections in this book, and I felt that Mrs. Moorman was not compassionate when it came to adoptees. I am not infertile, I am adopting because no one wants children which are not Caucasion. Many of these children stay in foster care for years, and then they are considered unadoptable when they're too old. I have biological children of my own. I did like that she acknowledged that women who give their children up, are in fact abandoning them. She did not feel that she had a "right" to her son. She gave him away, and she was willing to wait until he was ready. He was not HER son. He had another mother, and she acknowledged that--which showed true understanding and compassion. I have heard that women were coerced into giving their children away in the sixties, well they still had a choice and she vaguely acknowledged that. In fact, my mother married in the late sixties--at age 15. She never considered giving away my older sister, and ABSOLUTELY never considered abortion. Eventually, I would like my child to meet his/her birthmom one day, and I hope she has the understanding of Ms. Moorman. I especially liked the line in her book, "People give away puppies, not children."

First, let me say I have no hidden agenda in reviewing this book. I am not adopted, have not adopted nor am I a birth mother. I'm simply someone who likes to read non fiction. I also had some interest in reading this as one of my best friends adopted a baby 19 years ago and that child has reunited with her birthmother recently with seemingly little problems for all involved. I also had worked in a psychiatric hospital in the 80's and found that a disproportionate number of juveniles on the wards were adopted and I've always wondered why exactly that was.

This book answered some questions about that and opened my eyes to other things as well. By the end of the book, I was questioning who really benefits from adoption besides the adoptive parents. While I hate to see the "explosion" of teens having kids these days, I don't know anymore if it's always such a bad thing that they are keeping their kids. I've always felt that life must start out an uphill battle for adoptees knowing that they were rejected by their natural parents (often in all good intentions.) I also found it interesting that when she went to meetings with adoptees she saw that they had no idea how much pain the birth parents went through and continued to go through.

I liked Margaret's writing style, I like that she did not expose her son. I'm glad things turned out like they did for her. What a terrible decision she was faced with in 1965. (keep in mind, this was before Roe vs. Wade).

It's hard to find a book that fits one's own adoption story. However, there are so many children adopted into Christian families whose parents want to acknowledge God's hand in their story. I have to hold back the tears every time I read this book to my two adopted children.

What a BEAUTIFUL book!! I think it will be the perfect way to introduce the concept of adoption to our son. It starts with references to a special birthmom and tells how God had a special plan for a special baby. I cried the first time I read this book. I am so glad I bought it!!

while this book has some nice touches, it really does not have enough themes to take it through the alphabet and it a little more religious than the name implies.

This book starts out talking about adoption and how the birthmom loves the baby so much and makes a plan for the adoptive parents. This is really only appropriate if the reader was adopted at birth. For so many of us this is not the story! I chose not to let my kids read this!

H is for "Heavenly Father..." I almost choked. This book is geared towards families with moms and dads that arranged to get a baby from the birthmother.
Not only that, my 5 yo and 4 you thought it was boring. So did I.
Thumbs Down!