Adoption Books

We are in the process of adopting internationally and thought this book would be a good resource. The information was good, if a little narrow at times. The thing that distracted me the most was the editing: the authors will cover an idea, then rehash it several times, often using the same wording, sometimes within the same page.

Even worse (to me) were the gramatical, spelling, and punctuation errors - in abundance! I found one at least every 3-4 pages, and in a 400 page book that becomes very distracting very quickly.

The best advice I can give is to read it for it's point of view (if you are not too annoyed by the editing), but take many things with a grain of salt and form your own opinions on how to raise your child.

I only read through the first third of the book before I had to give up on it. Often the authors overgeneralize - they take a statement made to them by one person of color and then say that all people of color feel the same way. That's not only counterproductive, it borders on perpetuating racism.

They have a very negative mindset that I find to be discouraging. My husband and I are considering transracial adoption of an older child; if I continue to read this book, I am certain they would talk me out of it.

Plus, I find this book to be very poorly written. It lacks any coherent organization. This book is in desperate need of an editor. Even if you agree with their approach to the issues, the typos, poor grammar and lack of structure will certainly make it difficult to follow their thought process. Unless James Joyce's stream of consciousness writing style is appealing to you, you will not enjoy the way the authors jump topics every other paragraph.

There are much better books dealing with these issues available. The only redeeming quality of this book is the quotes from children and adults who were raised in multiracial families.

Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall, Inside Transracial Adoption (Perspectives Press, 2000)

The more books I encounter from Perspectives Press (and as my wife and I are in the process of adopting a child, I've been seeing a lot of them over the past six months or so), the more I wonder if it's not a vertical-market vanity press. Inside Transracial Adoption is just the latest link in the chain. The editing and proofreading, if any were done, were shoddy, making the book even tougher to read than its subject matter would dictate, which is a vanity press hallmark. That, and I can't remember the last time I said this about bad proofreading, is the least of the book's problems.

While the title and cover photos might lead you to believe that the book is a general primer for anyone adopting a child of a different race, once you actually start reading, it becomes obvious that the book was written specifically for white people adopting non-white people. It's pretty dangerous territory if the authors have any sort of ulterior agenda, and that they do also becomes obvious pretty quickly. Where there is an agenda, a fertile breeding ground, and a lack of editorial input, logical fallacies are sure to sprout. And here we get to the heart of the problem. There are enough straw men in this book to scare away every crow presently living on the planet. "White is right, Asians are the model minority (almost like white.) [sic] If you're brown, get down, if you're black, step back." (44) is not the type of verbiage one expects to find in a manual about adoption, and the idea that it's promoting-- institutionalized racism in "popular culture and music"-- is simply ludicrous. Take a quick look at Billboard's top 20 albums and singles for any of the last twenty years or so and we'll talk about white privilege. (Since I happen to have 2007 to hand, we find Akon, Fergie [who also landed the top-selling single], Beyonce, Kanye West, and Jay-Z riding the stratosphere. White privilege, indeed!)

Need it be said that assuming all whites are racist is a form of racism in itself? Do yourself a favor and look for something a little more balanced. (zero)

This was the best book I read on transracial adoption. The authors not only are experts in the field but have experienced it personally. You should not adopt a child of another race without reading this book.

When I read this book, I wish I were young again and could adopt children from other races. We went the "easy" way and adopted a baby in 1969 that matched our skin, but did not then proceed to adopt a second transracial child. Frankly, at that time, we would not have been up to the challenge. Today, I see white families in our neighborhood one of which has adopted two black boys who give me hugs when I walk by their house, and the other, next door, have a Chinese and Korean girl. This is wonderful progress which I feel in my own veins. I heartily recommend Steinberg's and Hall's strategies of "concrete tools for operating in a racist world."
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

I read this before adopting our first daughter from China-really and eye opener- full of great research and statistics(which I did not mind but someone else might find hard to read). I was really glad I read this book! It seems to cover the same points over and over but I will not forget them!

This book presents lots of information. I did find some chapters seemed repetitive as others suggested. However, overall I found
this book very interesting and am glad to have it for future reference.

I am a graduate student studying the One Child Policy, orphanges, and abandonment in China. I found this book to be very informative. It provided many statistics, which I found useful, and gave new insight into the topic of abandonment. The author's research is fairly limited - she interview ~750 families, but was suggestive nonetheless. Because the book is a compliation of essays, it is pretty repetitive. I would be interested in more academic works on this subject from Johnson.

Be careful about non-academic works written on this subject... they are often a lot of "fluff" based on emotions and rumors, instead of fact. If you are looking for a book to educate yourself and your adopted daughter on China's population policy consequences, then this book would give you an accurate picture.

There has been a lot of news articles recently (3/2006) about Chinese orphanages that are buying/stealing children for sale to American parents. I wonder how the author would consider this in future books?

This is a book that would not necessarily appeal to the casual reader. This is a work that is filled with statistics and analyses. There is some good narrative but much of the narrative is reitterated in different parts of the book and is therefore repititious. I chose this book to learn more about the social system in China that is allowing my husband and I to adopt a child and this book scared me a bit. The situation as explained in this book is pretty grim, especially with the use of the statistics.

The book was very disjointed and repetitive. I guess that each chapter was written as a separate journal article. It was a lot of facts and statistics, but there was one statement in the book that ruined it for me..."the availablity of ultrasoud makes the perfect outcome possible." ..referring to the use of ultrasound for sex selection. I don't agree with the gov't regulations of reproduction in China, but I also don't agree with any endorsement of sex-selctive abortions. Anybody who buys this book is likely in the adoption process of one of these prescious little girls and has possibly gone through numerous infertility treatments. Probably not the best audience for pro-choice undertones.

I teach at an alternative school for pregnant and parenting teenagers. Most books feature pretty mainstream parents in their 30s -- not the kind of people to whom my students can fully relate.

What a godsend this book is for my girls! Quite a few of them sport tattoos, and nearly all of them have piercings. Sure, they look different than their elders, but they love their children just as much. How nice that they finally have a book that features a family like theirs. And the sweet story about adopting a pet is an added attraction.

For anyone working with teen parents or parents-to-be, this is a must.

We have a new puppy, so this was intended to help our granddaughter learn how to treat a pup.

I was first introduced to this book in a first grade classroom I was assisting in. I was struck by the wonderful illustrations that are central to the story. The presence of a close, loving, cultured family who appear to be 'alternative' or 'counter-culture' is so refreshing to see in a children's picture book! This was one of the first paperback books I bought for my then 1 year old daughter. She's 18 months now and loves this story! She enjoys pointing out little details in the illustrations (such as Rosy getting a bath.) As she gets older, if she questions other details (such as whether it's a match or a cigarette on the fathers shirt) I will SO welcome the opportunity to have a real conversation with her and make connections to the real world. This book is a true gift! Anyone who doesn't see it that way is missing out on opportunities to connect with your children about what's real in this world.

If you've never seen a parent with a piercing or a tattoo, then you are living on a deserted island somewhere. Also, if you think that's a cigarette on dad's shirt, then you haven't actually read the book, because it's more than clear that it is a match. I don't think a match on a shirt is telling children to set things on fire, or whatever some of these reviewers seem to think. This book by Australian Bob Graham is a really lovely story, beautifully drawn and wonderfully written, and (while it is not the book's primary intent to do so) shows a family that looks much closer to what a lot of today's families look like than what some of the reviewers here would have us believe.

Okay the story is pretty sweet but I agree with the other person about the pictures. The tattoos and piercings of the parent's are vey distrubing! I do believe that's a cigarette on the dad's shirt which I find very offensive! Are we teaching our children that smoking is cool? If it's a lit match like one person said then are we teaching them to play with matches! As a teacher I find these pictures appalling. I showed this to my boss, a former social worker, and she removed the book from our school! I understand the need of porgressive theme's and unconventional famlies in children's books, but this is to much! Please look over the book and really consider the pictures before buying this for your child!

This book was very interesting. The author seems ot have a big heart, yet is very weeary about the girls she adopts. They came from a disturbing background. But sometimes love isn't enough. The trials and tribulations that this family went through ,according to the author, were tough. However, she is very honest and tells the story of how much she has tried to do all that she can to help these girls in their life.
It is a great read for those considering adoption or foster parenting.

This book is very disturbing. It is certainly disturbing in the way it was intended to be, as it details the problems experienced by a fatally idealistic family and their two adopted daughters who came from a background of abuse and neglect. One must, of course, condemn the fact that the family was kept in ignorance of the girls' problems. This is explained as a product of the time, in which everyone involved in adoption is described as believing that a loving family is all that is needed to heal even the most severely abused. Now such secrecy would be criminal; 30 years ago it is still an indication of inexcusable ignorance on the part of all the adults involved in the process. The truly disturbing aspect of the book for me, however, is the attitude of its author, the girls' adoptive mother. Although she claims her daughters and the rest of the family were abused by the system, she seems not to see the significance of her own failures. She admits much that must be painful to admit; for example, she sees in retrospect that the two newcomers were always seen as separate in important ways from her already-formed family of two parents and three children. Does she understand how truly awful that must have been for the girls, how lonely it must have been always on the outside, how terrifying to encounter expectations they couldn't possibly live up to? The insensitivity of the mother to her daughters' problems is mind-boggling, never mind that it happened 30 years ago. With all allowances for the difficulties she encountered trying to parent these troubled children--and I would not try to minimize that--she still falls short in understanding that they are the true victims. Instead one has a sense that too much of her rage is on her own behalf: rage that *she* didn't get the support she needed, rage that the girls turned out to be much for difficult for *her* than she expected. It is quite painful to read her monotonous detailing of the girls' delinquent and self-destructive behavior, not only for the obvious reasons, but especially because of the eager tone in which she recounts the outrages and how difficult it was for her to deal with them. She has yet to reach the point where she understands that, whatever her sufferings, those of the girls have been worse, because the destruction is of them, because they entered the family with various handicaps and with no resources to deal with these, and because they were the children and she was the adult. I guess I cannot contradict her claim to love them deeply, but I would like to see her gain a better understanding of their pain and see how her own must take a back seat to theirs. Of course she has been cheated of a normal mother-daughter relationship with them, but life has cheated them of much, much more.

The girls who were adopted were not yet 3 and 4 years old, so it is easy to see how optimistic the author was being to readily adopt them. I can't see how the mother giving up a career to sit at home with her kids would be any more helpful to these girls. (She had 3 biological children in the same age range who faired well with her working part time). If anything, it enlightens readers to just much the first few years of life can impact the character and psyche of a child. In this case, the differences between the biological children and the adopted girls were huge. However, in my personal experience, children being reared from birth by the same parents can also have have huge differences in their behaviors.
I feel that the author was just being brutally honest in her assessments of these two girls. I would recommend this book to anyone, but would hope it didn't dissuade anyone from pursuing adopting an older child. Just remember that, unlike many wards of the court who have physical limitations clearly outlined, some children have suffered abuse that may not be clear for months or even years. It is a commitment, to say the least. Also, the time frame is relevant. In current times, these children are studied and tested, and their histories are reported openly before adoption is considered. I know this, because I have looked into adopting an older child.

It is impossible not to be disturbed and deeply moved by the inescapable trauma the two abused girls caused the author's family (and the inescapable trauma the children had been exposed to prior to adoption). Those of us who have not experienced such a situation think it harsh for the author to challenge the notion that a stable home environment is always the best answer for abused or neglected children. Not having walked in the author's shoes, we may be quick to say that Ms. Loux's family wasn't the right family to cope with the two seemingly incorrigible girls. I am unwilling to make that judgment, but I do wonder whether Ms. Loux and her husband, who had full time careers, should have ventured into adopting older children who can be presumed to have suffered damage. The children must, in essence, have been raised by babysitters or other caretakers rather than by Ms. Loux. I am also wondering how much time Ms. Loux spent with her children's school teachers and whether there was adequate therapeutic intervention for the children and the family as a whole. All this would have required ongoing attention by Ms. Loux, and it is difficult to see whether a dual career family can meet the needs of abused children. Yet, I observed a neighbor who had adopted a seven-year old girl from a severely abusive home, and the adoptive parents did everything imaginable, including full-time care by the adoptive mother, to rescue this little girl. We tried to help too. Still, the girl went down an unstoppable path of self-destruction that included pregnancies, drug use, prostitution and ultimately lingering in prison with AIDS. This adoptive mother does not go so far as Ms. Loux in saying that 'her daughters have earned respect for their lifestyles and choices...She (Margey) keeps all the money she makes from prostitution to buy drugs.' To respect this life style must surely be the limits of hope for this adoptive couple. It is sad all the way around, but this book should not keep other prospective parents from adopting older children. Each situation is different.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

In many ways the authors eperiences are scary in their simularity to mine. My wife and I adopted two little girls, age 4-5 at the time, from the county after taking months of parenting classes and being given access to all the information that the county had available.... Still we had no realistic idea of how difficult it was going to be and how radically our lives would change. It was like trying to heard cats, they were extreamly impulsive, rebellous and raged at us for everything wrong in their lives, often including physical abuse of us and our house. A few years later we had an unexpected biological child who is in most ways just the opposite of J n L and things really got lively, runnaway, theft, drug and alchol use. At about age 14 we borrowed enough to send the eldest from a mental hospital to a behavior modification program in Utah. She spent about 1.5 years there, it did not make her a "model Child" but did change the direction of her life. Upon her return she made a serious suicide attempt and my wife, declaring she had had enough, took the youngest child and left me with the two adoptive teenagers.
At about this time my mother in law loaned us a copy of "The Limits of Hope", it was a real eye opener for me because her eperiences were so simular to ours. I did not reach the conclusion that a group home would be better for them, we had tried that with the oldest, she just ran away at will from them like she did us, but it did help me to understand that it is not realistic to expect them to be like their younger sister and to try a different direction. I lifted the thousand and one rules, complete with rewards and punishments, that we had imposed in a failed attempt to provide "structure" and just settled for open communication and letting them suffer the consiaquences of their own actions. I have had to bail both of them out at one time or another, wound up home schooling them both but the anger level has gradually subsided as they learn to take charge of their own lives. The eldest is now a sophmore in college and the youngest.....I still have hope, limited of course.
So, while I reached some different conclusions than the author, the book came to me at a critical time in my life and helped me understand that I needed to see my adoptive children as they are, not as I/we wished them to be. And, it helped me admit to myself and them that I did feel differently about them than I do about their sister and give up the romatic notion that we can treat all of them the same and expect the same results.

haven't read it yet...but flipping through it proved to be very useful as a mother of two boys with open adoptions...

I'd recommend getting either "The Adoption Book" or this one. They both have very similar bits of information. No need to get both.

My husband and I originally were very scared of the idea of an open adoption. This book helped us to understand that open adoptions are healthy in all aspects of the adoption triad. Birthmothers feel more secure in their decision because they have fairly regular letters/pictures delivered to them, showing them that their child is healthy and happy. The adoptive parents virtually never have to answer their childs questions about the adoption with "I don't know" and the adopted child doesn't have to wonder where he/she is from and why they were "given up." This was the most wonderful book that my husband and I read - and we have read a lot (b/c, by the way, my husband is also adopted, but with a closed adoption). He and his sister have sustained a lot of heartache searching for their birthfamilies, and this book helps adoptive parents to deal with all of the fear that they feel when dealing with an open adoption.

I originally thought this book would help with writing a "dear birthmother" letter, but then consider the full title (which isn't obvious from the cover) "Dear Birthmother, Thank You for Our Baby." I had read a couple other books about the emotions people feel from all sides of the adoption triad, and this one repeats those, if not dumbs it down. The letters included are real conversation between triad members, but the author reiterates things that were just said in the letter, like we didn't just read it! Or she'll give a summary of how a person feels about their child or the adoption, then follow it up with the letter saying the same thing.
This book was not a page turner until I got to the last quarter of the book, then it introduced something I had not seen in my other readings. Making Sense of Adoption by L. Melina and The Open Adoption Book by B. Rappaport are much better reads.

This adoption classic is a wonderful view into the post placement, lifelong relationship between all members of the adoption triad. It is not, however, a guide to writing the pre-placement, "dear birthmother letter" that potential adoptive parents must create. For that sort of help, look to Nelson Handel's also wonderfully written "Reaching Out," which provides valuable insight into the process of open adoption for those setting off to build a family in this way.

Clever, clever, clever... that pretty much describes this book. It is part novel, part comic, part graphic novel and totally clever! I read through it in a day and passed it to my 12 year old daughter, Sarah, to have her check it out. She has gotten halfway through it in one day and when I just asked her about it she said, "I'm not finished with it, but it's cool and fun to read." I think that's all I'll get out of her until she's done with it. Personally I think the concept is wonderful, even as an adult I enjoyed it. The story didn't totally engage me, but I will probably get the next ones in the series to see where the chronicles of DoppleGanger will take us. I give this book 4 stars based on sheer cleverness alone!

This book is written in a format called the Illustra-Novel. It is part novel, part pictures some with words, and part graphic novel. It has an interesting plot line. I enjoyed the combination. Twin sisters, Sadie and Saskia Dopple, have been abandoned by their mother to Isambard Dunstan's School for Wayward Children which has all girls and one boy named Erik Morrisey Ganger who works there. The fourteen year old girls are known troublemakers. The school is not a very nice place to go; they do not have enough food and the teachers are mean. One day a wealthy benefactor of the school comes and adopts Saskia. Saskia discovers many wierd secretive things about her new home. At the same time Sadie discovers the school is lonely without her twin. Sadie and Erik end up escaping the school and the adventures begin. I highly recommend this interesting illustra-novel for kids and adults. :)

www.abookloverforever.blogspot.com

the first escape was a very different book for me. I want to clarify that this is youth fiction. I have read quite a bit in that genre and have liked most of what I read. I like that Christian authors are stretching the industry's imagination. They're thinking outside the box!

So, to begin with I really liked how G.P. Taylor incorporated the graphics with the story. I also thought the different fonts used throughout the story helped with it's creepiness. I really think adolescent kids will really get into this story because the graphics add a whole new dimention.

Personally, I couldn't get into the story. It was a bit dark for me. When I thought about my 9 yr old reading it I wasn't sure if he'd be ready for it. I guess if he were a pre-teen I'd be more inclined to have him read it, but even then I'm not sure. I kept coming back to, "huh." when I was reading it.

Again, this is my opinion. From what some of the other reviewers said, they really liked it. I think this book is going to appeal to other people, as is evident by their reviews. I wish I could put my finger on what didn't click for me, I just can't. So, my suggestion, find some other reviewers such as: and see why they did like it since I wasn't captured by it. ~Mimi

My son read this first (to help me out:-) and LOVED IT! He says the combination of manga and story works well, and he's eager for more from this author. Be watching for my review soon (I hope:-)

Saskia and Sadie Dopple are twins, orphaned and living at the Isambard Dunstan School for Wayward Children. They are hated by the headmistress, Miss Rimmer, who arranges for the twins to live with Muzz Elliot, an eccentric woman who needs an heir. Naturally, she can only take one twin,Saskia.
Sadie is left to the mercy of Miss Rimmer. When Sadie is accused of trying to burn down the school and sentenced to prison, Eric Ganger decides to rescue her. As they make their way across the country they must escape from a variety of evil characters.
Saskia is also having problems. After learning of an murder plot against Muzz Elliot and herself, she is frantically trying to escape.

I know a book will be interesting when I must go and hunt through my daughter's room to find my copy. This book, reminiscent to the Series of Unfortunate Events books or any book by Roald Dahl, is written in a part book, part cartoon style. The chapters alternate between the stories of Saskia and Sadie and keep an exciting pace at all times.
However, as humorous as I thought this story was, I will say that not everyone will appreciate the dark humor in this book. There are attempts at a seance, violence, and the Dopple twins have a tendancy to cause trouble.
As a parent, this would be a book that should be previewed before allowing children to read.
I, however, would like to see the second book in this series.

This was a good book, but for a slightly older child. It goes into a bit more detail than I was expecting as far as where baby's come from. It was not graphic in anyway, but would likely trigger questions that I wouldn't want to address with a young child.

This book helps parents introduce their children to adoption and helps explain the process of adoption to a child who's been adopted. The story is written from the point of view of the adopted child as she explains to the reader who her parents (adoptive) are and what adoption is.

I liked how this book explains:
* why her parents don't look like her
* covers (briefly) what her parents had to do to adopt her
* explains what an adoption Counselor(social worker) is
* the difference between a mother and a woman that gave birth to a child.

I didn't like that this book is written from the stand point that children are adopted as babies. It details the little girls arrival into the family as an infant and how her new parents helped her through her develpmental milestones. Our children were adopted at age 5 so when I read that part in the book about milestones they were a bit confused as to why we weren't there. I also didn't like that it didn't mention siblings in the family. Many adoptive families have a combo of their own birth children and adoptive children. It would've been nice if they had included that in the story.

All in all, it's a nice little book with eye catching illustrations for a family of three that adopted from infancy. Larger families with combo siblings (Biological and Adoptive) who've adopted non-toddler children may want to find something else.

Adoption stories are so unique and individual that it is really difficult to buy a book based on someone else's experience and be able to use it to explain your own child's adoption experience. This one is better than some, in that it doesn't skirt or ignore the issue of the birthmother, however it also gets into some anatomical detail of reproduction and birth that are not necessary when providing your preschooler with the initial details of his or her adoption. Our son is 3 and we have put this away for a few years, it is definately not appropriate for him at this time.

The fact your child was adopted should not come as a shock to them at some later point in their lives, but the details and facts you give should be based on their age and stage of development. I think involving details of some mystery mother at an age before they are able to understand the biological facts of life is unnecessary.

Unless your child is ready to grasp the details of pregnancy and birth, look for another book to help explain their adoption.

This book was as described...from a child's perspective and engages the parent to offer details of their child's adoption. I would recommend to other adoptive families to help get the conversation started at an early age.

I bought this book to help me introduce the concept of adoption to my 3 1/2 year old daughter. The story is absolutely perfect - the little girl in the story tells how she is adopted and asks the reader "were you adopted too?" My husband and I thought we found the perfect book until you get to a page which rather graphically depicts a baby coming out of a woman's womb. If you are ready to explain that to your child, it is the perfect adoption book to start with. We weren't, however, ready to go as far as explaining the uterus, and how the baby comes out, etc. It was disappointing because this book was so cute and many childern's adoption books out there feature sort of weird, outdated-looking illustrations. Both my husband and I felt that for the very young child, this book gives a little too much info.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and believe it provides a rare and intimate look into the heart of a male adoptee. Not much is written for male adoptees, or those who love them. Therefore, I applaud Tim's courage and admire his journey. It would be a great resource for an all-adoptee male support group!

Tim Green is a wonderful writer who details, with earnest passion, the search for his birth mother. This book is a must read for all birth mothers and all adopted children.

When is someone going to say, "The folks who raised me are wonderful, but they are not my real parents." What a shame--even Tim is caught up in the lies. Everyone has only two real parents. To lose them, especially so soon after birth, is devastating. Ask any mother who has list her child.

It's a tragedy that when an adopted person speaks, so many people insist he is wrong - even when he is recounting his own experiences.

Thanks to Mr. Green people may now obtain a better understanding of what it is like for a human being to be separated from mother in infancy and grow up in an environment devoid of any true family members. This is very timely information with all the infertility businesses pushing sperm "donation", embryo donation, egg "donation" and surrogacy. And sadly, there is a continued push to get newborn babies for adoption customers, babies from naive and pressured parents and families that have never been proven to be unfit in any way.

Real parents? A parent is the person who raises you and influences the person you are today. You are not a Real parent b/c you conceived the child...that person has significant value as a birth parent. I was adopted and have also adopted children and the real parent is the one who has been there, invested...

Marrianne was sent to Saint Christophers and her mom said that she would be back for her. But she never came back. She was on a train with 14 orphans trying to find her mom. But she couldn't find her mom. My favorite part was the end when Marrianne met Mr and Mrs. Books and they adopted her. The story made me sad because her mom didn't want her and a little happy because she got adopted at the end of the train ride. The End.

I thought it was good and sad. Sad because she didn't find her real mom. I think people should read it because it tells a lesson and it tells a happy ending.

It was good because she found a new mother. Second, it made me feel happy because she was happy with her new family. She can visit people. You should read it because it was very nice and funny.

I think it was a good book. The kids got to choose which parents they want. Their moms drop them off so they're orphans. The end was my favorite part because she found a mom.

I enjoyed this book especially because my grandmother was a rider on an orphan train when she was around 11 years old. She is still spry at the age of 98. The story she tells me is almost identical, for she felt she was tall, plain and ugly. Her mother died in New York and her and all of her brothers and sisters (6 of them) came to Texas. I think everyone should know about this part of our history. Eve Bunting did a wonderful job of telling the story that so many orphan train riders will never have the opportunity to tell.

This book is great, as it gives some more 'handles' to the feelings and experiences of adoptees. It can be a bit 'academic' but that's all part of the learning process associated with the complex practice of adoption. Well worth reading. I'd add it to your counselling service library in duplicate.

Although this book has some very good information, I might suggest reading
it after you have adopted your child/children. It's a bit like hearing all of the very difficult parts of raising children at the same time. It was pretty overwhelming campared to many of the other books out there.

Thank goodness people are finally admitting that adoption, even if you had a great experience, still brings with it certain issues. Adoptive parents should read books like this to understand that their adopted child has special needs - so many adoptives take it as a personal affront if their child decides to search for birthparents, or even asks about them. For birthparents, it's affirmation of their loss (even if it was the best decision they felt they could make) and understanding of their surrendered child's feelings. Should be required reading for prospective adoptive parents

This is the worst book on adoption I have read (and I have read quite a few) The authors (none of whom are directly part of the adoption triad)try to analyze development across the lifespan of the adoptee according to an Eriksonian model (in fact I think 1/4 of all the words in the book may be Erik Erikson or Eriksonian) At times they are downright offensive to both adoptees and birthparents, and they never seem to have any illumination into what it is actually like to be an adoptee - maybe that is because they have talked to a lot of them, and analyzed a lot of them, but they just don't really understand it on a deeper level. I would hope that anyone truly interested in this subject would read Betty Jean Lifton's Journey of the Adopted Self instead.

If you want a general idea of what you might expect to experience from the womb to the tomb (as an adoptee), this is the book for you. I always quote Drs. Brodzinsky and Schechter when I speak. One of the most profound things they say is that adoption loss for the child is more profound than death or divorce. Yea for the doctors--if more people would only listen to their wisdom and begin seeing adoption through the eyes of adoptees. A must-have for your adoption library.