Adoption Books

Normally, I enjoy "literary mysteries." I don't require happy endings, action-packed sequences, likable characters or all loose ends tied up neatly in a package. I appreciate literary references, lush descriptions, character studies and many other elements of style referenced by other reviewers of this novel. Those reviews are why I chose this as my first PD James novel.

Unfortunately, I must agree with the detractors. I found this book so tedious that I am not going to finish it - even just to see what happens. I have plodded through 3/4 of the text and don't care enough about either the characters or the storyline to bother with the rest. To me, these characters seemed extremely one-dimensional and I found myself skimming passages and skipping entire pages of monotonous detail. Essentially, I had the impression that this was originally a short story that was extended to novel length by filling in periods of time with the mundane. Perhaps it would do well as a short indie film where much of this detail could be conveyed visually - but for now, I don't want to waste any more time following these dreary people.

I enjoy P.D. James very much. I'm a fan who respects her talents and absolutely loves her command and use of the English language. I don't want to be the kind of fan that only wants the people they admire to do one thing, "play your greatest hit again". But this one was a toughie for me. I didn't like the main character at all. While I don't have to have a sterotypical heroine to enjoy a book, it makes it much more enjoyable for me if I find at least a couple of things about them I like. There is nothing here to admire or relate to in Phillipa's character. Graham Greene kept running through my head as I read this book. It is much more a psychological study than a mystery. There is tension in the book though, which mounts very slowly, and by that, becomes intense. But there is a tremendous amount of the book devoted to descriptions of places. While these descriptions are vibrant, the number of them detracted from the book for me. There are character studies that, when viewed in the totality of the book, seem pointless. We learn about the women that Phillipa and her mother work with. Then they are gone from the book. Nothing in their appearance relates to the overall story. But, again, the descriptions of them are masterful. I would recommend this book, but only to those who like reading for the enjoyment of language usage. For a more traditional, but equally compelling "English murder mystery" book, I would recommend many other of James works, but not this one.

I am sorry to be so blunt.

My early assumption was that the story had an intriguing ring: London, end of the 70s. A young lady, Philippa, knowing that she had been adopted, sets out to look for her biological parents. Her adoptive parents, with whom she never quite had a close relationship, are unhappy about this choice but nothing can stop Philippa. What she eventually finds out is shocking but, seemingly unperturbed, she sets out to try and establish a contact to learn more abour her early childhood. Meanwhile, somebody else is looking into the past and, unbeknownst to anybody, is waiting for the right time to strike out, to quench the thirst of vendetta over the murder of his young daughter years ago.

Although the linguistic is definitely high class, the narrative is just too tediously overly-descriptive, resulting in total failure to engage me fully as a good thriller should do. I often found myself skimming through some parts, trying to get to the core of the chapter. Additionally, none of the main characters, Philippa in primis, were particularly likeable one way or the other, no matter how tragic or sad their backgrounds. This too, contributed to a certain degree of dislike for the whole tale.

I know and respect Mrs. P.D. James' reputation as a writer, but this book just was not for me.

I could not put this down. P.D. James is so brave, she's willing to create such deep characters, with such problems. She sets the characters up in a hugely dramatic plot and then sets them free. You really do believe that these are real people, living out these twisted circumstances. Add to that her command of the english language. P.D. James is a huge literary talent. It is a shame that since she is writing "genre" fiction, that she doesn't receive the literary accolades that she deserves.

My recommendation: buy this book, set aside a weekend, and dive in.

P.D. James is best known for her detective Adam Dalgliesh and the mysteries that he has masterly solved in a dozen novels. "Innocent Blood", while a departure from her usual fare, still exhibits some of James' trademarks and is overall an intriguing and slightly disturbing crime novel. The thought with which the plotlines and characters twine together showcases the author's ability to craft ingenious crimes and plumb the psychological depths of her characters.

"Innocent Blood" is the tale of Philippa Palfrey, who has just turned eighteen and is eager to find out who her birth parents were so that she can in turn discover who she is. Adopted when she was eight, Philippa can remember hardly anything of her previous life, and has filled in the gaps with wild romantic fantasies that are brought to a crashing halt when she learns the truth about her background. For she is the daughter of a rapist and a murderer - her biological father died in prison, while her mother is soon due to be released. Philippa denies the advice of her adopted family and searches out her birth mother, blindly putting aside the fact that her mother murdered a twelve-year-old girl, and the two wind up sharing a flat in London for a few weeks in the summer. But Philippa's plans of reconciling with her mother are thrown into jeopardy by someone unknown to her; for the father of the murdered girl has spent the past ten years planning how to enact his vigilante vengeance and stalks the mother and daughter so he can carry out his plan. Yet when Philippa learns a truth even more disconcerting about her mother and her adoption, everyone's plans for the future are threatened.

"Innocent Blood" is not as easy a read as others of James' works. It begins slowly, and the main characters are far from likeable. Philippa has spent the past ten years living in the lap of luxury, but feels nothing more than grudging sense of entitlement toward her adoptive parents. Maurice, her adoptive father, is a sociology professor, who seems to view his relationship with Philippa as an experiment, until the reader learns the true motive behind his actions. The reader will perhaps be surprised to feel some empathy for Philippa's birth mother, despite the fact that she is a child murderer. But the strongest character in the novel is Norman Scase, the vengeance seeking father, a gentle man who made a promise to his late wife to seek out the murderer of their child and who struggles under the enormity of that promise. As the plotlines of these various characters interconnect, the novel picks up pace and draws to an interesting close, but one that is slightly disturbing and perhaps less fulfilling than other crimes P.D. James has offered in other works.

It is a good book but not really what I needed. It is geared mostly towards infant adoption, both internationally and domestically.

Good practical advice to set teh worried adoptive parent at eae about a lot of things.

As an adoption specialist for 20 years, I always recommend reading this book before, during and after adoption. Not everything applies to everyone, but on a whole, it gives the best and most accurate information about the adoption process. Just like any "manual" on how to do something, there are parts that won't be for you or about you. Take what you can from the book. Keep it on your nightstand and in years to come you will want to refer to it. I call it the "Dr. Spock of Adoption". Not every scenario about adoptive children will happen to your child, but when one does, you will be more prepared. She must discuss all the potential issues. There have been many books written since Lois wrote that book, but it is still one of the best. Make it part of your adoption library, along with some others.

Be fair. Social conventions have changed markedly in the 20-plus years since this book was first published. So it's natural that the author would not have written all her chapters in quite the same voice she might have used in a new book, issued in 2008.

Despite its age and shortcomings, however, this book has numerous useful sections from which adoptive parents (and ultimately, their children) can benefit.

The chapter on Attachment, for example, is quite interesting and helpful--particularly considering the medical community's lack of awareness on attachment disorder, which frequently affects adopted children. As noted here, "both learning disabilities and conduct disorders can be signs of an unattached child," as can short attention span and poor impulse control. To this day, many psychologists are unaware of these basic facts. This book can help bring them up to speed.

Another beneficial chapter is "Talking with Children About Adoption." Citing adoption expert Betty Jean Lifton, the book notes, "instead of worrying about the right time to start talking about adoption, parents should be concerned about setting the right tone." Allow the adopted child to express his or her doubts, fears, questions and fantasies. Sympathize, listen, let the child express their grief, and redirect their fantasies when they are completely off track.

If the child thinks their birth parent lived in a castle and rejected them for their looks, obviously they need more information about the true circumstances. Parents can say, (for example) "We don't know much. But we do know your birth parents were young, and could not keep you safe."

There are also excellent details about medical histories, and what to do in the cases of suspected mental or genetic disorders in the biological families. These problems can be detected, and treated.

Deep into the adoption process we are hungry for information on what our adventure in child-rearing will be like because of going with an adopted child. If you are in that position this book is worth skimming but not worth reading. It is a very dry book which would work better as a website where key topics are identified and you can skip to the parts of interest to you. Or rewrite it as a simple list of topics with 2 sentences under each ("oh I wonder how my adopted kids will react to X").

Reading this book from cover to cover, on the other hand, will leave you feeling like every aspect of life is a potential threat to the mental health of your child. It took all my strength not to throw the book in the trash when the authors talked about the issues the adopted child might have dealing with seeing the baby Jesus at Christmas time. There is a point where simply outlining every possible source of stress may not be helpful. This book likely reaches that point. It's not that these things can't possibly be stressful but it feels like this book may be giving equal weight to every possibility. In many cases it feels like what is being shared are merely anecdotes which feel as solid as if a coworker said, "I heard on the internet that...."

The book is probably good to have around during stressful times when you might want to find, in writing, proof that others have had these issues, too. And for that reason I can't be too critical of the book. It's reference pages also are very good. But this is a text not a book- a collection of thoughts rather than a well thought out guide for parents.

i love this book. its so emotional. it can make you question what death is like you know what i meen? anyway it tells how peter grows up and becomes a new person by looking back at his old actions, like the renaisance in europe. lol

It's a book about is a book about a boy who gets a second chance at life. Peter was run over by a car after running into the street without looking. He was killed instantly. Peter was pulled into the white light where a voice told him he had a chance to go back and fix his life. The voice told Peter that he had 12 hours to plan how he could stop himself from dying, and that once he was ready he could return to any moment he wanted to and attempt to fix his life.
Peter had been told he was adopted by his step-parents when they had found out they were going to have a baby. He was sure they would love the new baby better than him. The reason Peter had ran into the street was because he was hurt and angry. He loved art, not sports (a fact his parents didn't like) . His father wanted Peter to play baseball or build a go-cart or anything "usual" boys do. Peter always had thought it was a joke when his dad had said , "...if you don't do better in school and get more active we can always just take you back to the orphonage...". Peter had made 2 perfectly done marionettes in art class, a clown and an alien, and he also made a puppet stage. When Peter put on a show for his parents, they just said he had wasted his time and he should be outside playing baseball instead of making girly dolls. Peter had worked for a month on the puppets, and this made him angry.
So now Peter thought about what he could do to stop the car from hitting him and to stop himself from dying. This time was his last chance. Peter had messed up the other times. He decided to go back 2 months, and to use his knowledge of what would happen to his advantage. Peter told people what would happen before-hand, like tell the store manager to check his wiring because the building was going to burn down. He also changed his attitude towards his parents. He was nice to them, and in return they were nice to him instead of ignoring him and putting him down. Peter knew he would have to do the puppets show, but maybe this time they would like it. He designed a new play that tested if they really loved him. You'll have to read it to find out what happenned.

Rewind
Rewind is an intriguing book about a boy named Peter who is struck by a car and killed. He is given many chances to live again. Many interesting things happened in this book that probably wouldn't happen in real life. This book kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the whole thing.
Rewind has many things happen in it that probably wouldn't happen in real life. One of these things is he is given a chance to save many peoples lives by knowing what is going to happen in the future. A fire starts in the mall and he calls ahead of time to warn the mall and all the people in it so no one is injured or even killed. He is given a chance to save himself so he can live but he ends up getting hit by another car. This book is very interesting especially with all the abnormal things that happen it keeps you coming back for more. I would recommend this book to people who like science fiction because it is more of a science fiction type book.

I just finished this really good book called Rewind.Its about a boy who dies by getting hit by a car.The person is one of his neighbors.What happens is that he gets a chance to redo the past so he doesn't die.He knows what's going to happen and everything.So he decides to use that inoformation to right the mistakes that he makes.The boy was told by his parents that he was adopted and they're about to have their real first child. He didn't have a real good attitude about this.His parents tell him how he supposed to do sports,not art, and one night he puts on a puppet show and his parents hurt his feeling so he runs out of the house and gets ran over. So on his first try he pours sugar down the gas tank of the car to stop it from being there, but then he gets hit by the taxi behind the car that was going to hit him.The second try he starts running like before but he stops on the sidewalk and then the car that hits him goes by then the taxi but then a truck that has a driver that is drunk pops up on the sidewalk that the boy is stand and the boy dies again. On his third attempt does he die or does he live? Read the book to find out!

I thought that the book was amazing . The plot was how Peter had to save his life by going back in time . Peter dies and then somehow he is taken back in time to stop his death. He goes back two, four, and six weeks before his death. The settings were very different through out the book. There is Peter's house, where Peter goes when he dies, and the school. The conflict was weird how he had to change his life or he would be hit and killed again by the car. But he saves his life in the end by helping out his parents. I would definitely read this book again.

My husband and I both read the book, and after some discussion, have decided to give it to future aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I agree with some of the reviews that indicate that the author's approach to the reader (extended family) can be somewhat condescending - or even insulting. However, I think that with an introductory conversation (e.g. "Clearly, the book is written for someone less informed than you are, but we thought it brought up some points you might find useful"), it can be a great way to both educate and open communication channels with extended family.

We were looking for a concise book to cover the basics our family should learn as they supported us through the adoption process. Our family was excited about the adoption, and this book would have been SO INSULTING to give to them. Thank goodness I borrowed it from the library before I bought copies for the family.
This book assumes that families of adoptive parents are actively unenthusiastic about children joining their family through adoption and talks down to them, telling them to "get with the program".
We wanted a resource to educate about adoption and bonding without subjecting our families to more information than they needed to read. We never did find what we were looking for, and ended up trying to summarize all we've learned.

This was the best book to help explain to our family and friends what we are going through. I cried as I read the book because it was so on target with the way we felt. We would HIGHLY recomend this book for families of people who are adopting, I wanted to buy 5000 copies and pass them out on the street!!

I enjoyed this book and it was invaluable in helping me educate extended family about adoption. The language is clear and concise, it speaks directly to the family members/friends of adoptive parents, and it addresses many of the concerns that family members or friends may have, regardless of whether they blurt it out or not.

As adoptive parents, we often spend hours poring over books, talking with others who have adopted, and researching our choice. Our extended family members often do not make the same educational journey we do, so it's helpful to have something to gently illustrate topics like adoption myths, respectful language, privacy for the child, etc.

I highly recommend it.

I think it is a wonderful resource for those starting the adoption process. It brings up many issues that you wouldn't have thought of. Highly recommended for anyone adopting and any family members.

I started reading this book to my son as soon as we adopted him- 6 1/2 weeks old. He is 16 months now and loves for me to read him this book. Illustrations are beautiful and the wording flows easily. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who's been blessed by adopting a child.

It was OK, but is not my favorite nor is it a favorite of my daughter. Families are Forever was much better.

I think this is a nice book that defintitely has a very positive message that children will find reassuring. A child joining a family should be celebrated whether through birth or adoption! There are a couple of spots where the wording is slightly awkward...but writing in verse, and still getting your desired message across, is quite difficult. The overall feeling of this book is warm and fuzzy, while the illustrations are bright and cheerful. I think it is a great book for infant adoptions. Like another reviewer, it does not fit our personal sitution that well because we adopted an older child through foster care. It is tough to find children's books that are appropriate for older child adoptions (I know...that is why I wrote one!)
Christine Mitchell, author and illustrator of:
Welcome Home, Forever Child: A Celebration of Children Adopted as Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Beyond

Still brings a tear every time I read it or make dh sing it. We have a four year old bio son, 20 month old triplets who we adopted (we have had them from seconds after their birth), and I am pregnant with boy number five. Because two of our five are bio, we don't call November 18 "Adoption Day," but "Family Day." Still, I cannot read this lovely song, or point to the vibrant pictures without my voice shaking. My kids are all young, so I have no way of knowing how they will like it when they are old enough to have questions. It just seems to express beautifully and simply much of what I feel as an adoptive mom. It is certainly not a comprehensive thought-provoking manual for addressing the deeper adoption issues I hope to discuss with my kids as they mature. This is merely a celebration and a love song, and for now that is quite enough for me.

As an adoptive Mom, I get so tired of kids books that talk about being saddened or depressed by adoption. Yes, kids may need to talk through those issues at times, but I wanted a book that would introduce adoption to my infant daughter in a positive way. "Happy Adoption Day" does that beautifully, with joyful rollicking text and an explosion of colorful illustrations. This books is such a favorite of my (now 2 year old) daughter that I had to put it up on a top shelf and bring it down only by request because it was about to disintegrate! Read a more complete review and learn more about my adoption story at my blog www.kiddobeans.com

Using an interesting, if not always successful, mish-mash of styles and narratives, Korean adoptee Trenka tells of the experience of a violent stalker in Minnesota, her experiences of racism, going to Korea to find her birth mother, an older sister, and ultimately, love. It is her personal search for American, Korean, and Korean American identity. The prose is as luminous and carefully beautiful as the reviews say. I came away with a sense of the writer's youth, and how her search has perhaps, only now, really begun.

There were two negative reviews for this book (the third is a repeat and is unfair). Frankly neither of them show any kind of knowledge bout the psychology of an adoptee. First of all being an adoptee and a Korean national are different. Second being a parent and an adoptee is different. I've clashed with many more adoptive parents than I have with adoptees (in views of adoption).

I didn't find that this was atypical of a Korean adoptee. I was isolated from Korean culture as well and this was in the 80's. I was only able to research and find anything on Korea until recently. This book proves that point--that it's hard to find something to root you to your birth culture.

The book traces a view of adoption. It does not make judgments. It merely tells what happened and in what fashion. It tells the truth as she saw it. It tells about her struggle with identity, her triumphs, her sadnesses, the humor she saw. It also tells about her regret and efforts to try to get her adoptive parents to understand.

As a Korean adoptee I found parts that I could and couldn't relate to, but I don't think this any less valid than my story of adoption. Adoption is individual as the search for identity is. I believe that this book showed that without telling anyone what to think. That's to be admired.

The story is a about a young Korean adoptee, raised in a small Minnesota town, who struggles to find identity. Although growing up with Asian skin (but American in every other way) in a small, rural community was difficult, her self-identity becomes even blurrier as she becomes reacquainted with her Korean birth mother.

While the book mostly follows a linear progression through Jeong Trenka's life from her early childhood to her post-collegiate days, each chapter's place in that timeline is rather fluid, including elements from her past, her present, her future, as wells as bits and pieces from myths and stories. What adds to the story's chaotic feel, is that Jeong Trenka also uses such devices as screenplay text, poems, and even crossword puzzles to help drive the story.

The major internal conflict in this book is that Jeong trenka's struggle to identify herself as one something. Just as she struggles with what name to put on her marriage certificate, so she struggles with incorporating the various parts of her identity into one being.

Having wanted to escape from her small hometown, Harlow, from an early age, and having dealt with the prejudices of the people around her for most of her life, it is not surprising that her first visit to larger-than-life Korea should instantly feel right to her.

What was lacking in this story, however, was any juxtaposition of American prejudices measured against Korean prejudices. The author never mentions the "foreign-ness" that many overseas-raised Koreans feel upon visiting their birth country for the first time. No mention of the snickers and snide remarks by the Korean people towards Koreans unable to speak their mother language or those who have now become too Western.

In any case the story is Jeong Trenka's to tell, and it is a deeply emotional one for the author. Despite its rather frenetic pace, her story telling ability is lovely, and the book finds it's strength in Trenka's poetic choice of words.

While many of Jeong Trenka's struggles are internal and not necessarily ones that the reader may identify with, this is still a great story about the difficulties of not fitting in, and finding contentment within oneself, where ever it may come from. Jeong Trenka's melodic writing abilities are enough to keep the reader with her as she tries to figure out who she really is.

Reviewed at OnceWritten.com

Five beginnings in two pages - she lost me. Too bad because the opening was terrific - a letter in broken English about the dysfunction that led to the adoptions in the first place. She changed voices, times, places; should have stuck with letter and taken it from there.

I find it interesting that three of the negative reviews for this book all use the same language but the writer/s claims to be the parent of Korean children, a Korean with no connection to adoption and a Korean adoptee. Um...okay? If you are going to write an angry review it would be advisabe to pick an identity and stick with it .

I read this novel two years ago, and meant to write a review then, but life got in the way. Life did not, however, edge this novel out - it has stayed with me as one of the best reads I've ever had. The book made me laugh out loud and cry - and I am not one to do either while reading. The protagonist was, to me, both unique and universal - someone I could get to know in the deepest way, both as another and as someone who shared parts of my soul. While I respect what some reviewers said about being adopted and not feeling their own experiences were reflected, I think this novel is really about something more universal. I wish the shelves were lined with novels like this one.

The reviews here ruin any surprise as to whether Sarah finds her birth mother. Instead this work's charm lies in how much the reader can emotionally invest in Sarah, the adoptee searching for Kyung Sook, her birth mother. That's a shame because Sarah continually underwhelms. She is as awkward as Lee Fiora in Prep, without the clear, astute observations that made Prep a satisfying read. Surprisingly this book's strength comes from the background story of birth mother Kyung-Sook. She is much more compelling in telling her story. Sarah, however, reveals little about herself that is charming, nuanced or self-aware. Unless you are a stalwart supporter of As-Am lit or very interested in adoptive lit then I suggest you pass on this one.

I think this book is sort of a Madame Bovary of stories--let's you live the entire experience. I do know the author did a lot of research for it, and it shows in its accuracy, not in a showy way, but in its quiet truth. We are a family enriched by Korean adoption.

I just finished reading Somebody's Daughter, by Marie Myung-Ok Lee, and it was amazing. What a beautifully-written, honest book.

It was truly one of those books where I felt as if I'd stepped into someone else's life for a little while, and was able to personally experience some of Sarah and her birth mother's life.

To be able to write such a book is a gift.

Lee doesn't sentimentalize the idea of international adoption -- she faces it head-on, with a sense of truth and honesty and reality. So often, all we see are the cute babies from abroad with their glowing new parents, but the story of how that happens can be a tragic or difficult one. And the story of what happens later can also be difficult.

Lee deftly handles both stories, and weaves together the saga of Sarah's birth mother, and Sarah herself, and how their lives parallel and where they go in different directions.

The ending was a surprise, and after I thought about it, quite appropriate in many ways.

It's not only a great book purely from the standpoint of a good read, but it has particular resonance for anyone affected by adoption -- whether a birth mother, an adopted child, or parent of an adopted child.

I highly recommend this book.

I am the mother of a little girl, 2, adopted from Korea nearly 2 years ago. I must confess now I did NOT finish the book; I just couldn't. It wasn't just that Sarah's description of her adoptive family (you know, the parents she couldn't bring herself to call "mom" or "dad) was heartbreaking; she just seemed so...well, as another reviewer said, shallow. And the book was stiff with stereotypes, reminding me of one of those Lifetime made-for-TV movies that have to ratchet up the angst to make up for a lack of storyline.

I will say that when Sarah has children of her "own", she'll probably adjust her perspective a bit. (In a moment of parental stress, she may even some day accuse her biological children of being "ungrateful!" Imagine!) THAT character, the one who GETS IT, would be interesting to read about, because she'll be multifaceted--for instance, able to feel the losses related to adoption, but also (maybe?) able to understand the love her birthfamily had for her--as well as their losses, disappointments, and struggles. (The mark of real adulthood, I'd say.)

Just a few days ago, I sent another letter and photos to our daughter's foster family, who adored her, AND to her birthmother (the birthfather is unknown to anyone but her), in the hopes they will one day want contact with us, and with the child she bore. Sad thing is, she has no interest in what became of her birthdaughter--none whatsoever. I cried on hearing that, but I won't give up. We have a good relationship with our son's birthmother (he is Asian, but was born here), and think it is fundamentally important, even more important than emphasizing his cultural heritage (which we also do, by the way). (And part of his "culture" is OURS. Or should we tell him he doesn't have a place there, either?)

(By the way, I have been a subscriber to, and avid reader of, Adoptive Families magazine, who published a review of the book. Now I wonder why they published the review at all. Sometimes, the adoption community bends over backwards to make up for transgressions of adoption made in the past. I think this was one example.)

What kind of Love was a story based on a teenage pregnancy, and the responsibilities she would have to face. In this book the main characters were Valerie, her boyfriend Peter, and her best friend Carrie. Peter and Valerie were together for six months when she found out she was pregnant. They were scared to tell their parents because they were still kid them selves. They had no choice but to tell them. When Valerie tells her parents, they reply by telling her she has to have an abortion. When Peter tells his mom she states she is going to send him away to live with his father so he won't see Valerie or the baby.

According to my life, I can relate to Valerie's best friend Carrie. She is always giving Valerie good advice like I did when my aunt was pregnant. Carrie and I tell them, "It's not worth keeping the baby if the father left and you have no way to support the baby, unless if you get help." They wouldn't listen though. They think the father of the baby is going to come back for them. If the baby's father really liked you and was capable of being there for his child he would have never left. Valerie's boy friend Peter left without her knowing, but wrote to her when he got to his father's house in Chicago.

I really enjoyed this book a whole lot. One of my favorite parts was when Peter had left because when she found out she paid it no mind. She didn't care because she thought Peter was coming back and that they were going to move in together. She also thought they were going to get married. I think it was really silly because you really can't get married without parental consent.

My least favorite part was when Valerie actually found out Peter was playing games with her mind, he wasn't going to come back and she decided she was going to have the baby but put it up for adoption. I thought that was really depressing and emotional. It is hard to make decisions in a situation like this because you don't know if it would lead you the right or wrong way.

If you are a teenager who thinks they're in love and want to have a baby I recommend this book to you. This book makes you think twice. When you say you love someone you may think you do but it can be a lie. Like Valerie stated in the book "When you love someone you want to make them happy, but it takes two to do it." When you get with a guy get to know that person real well because that guy may only want one thing from a girl, get you pregnant then leave you like a bump on a log. Then you would realize it was a mistake. A mistake that will change your life forever and wouldn't be able to erase it ever again.

This book is in one word awful. Val is portrayed as an idiot, thinking Peter was gunna marry her as a teenager. Peter is described as nothing more than a pushy sex fiend, well-off loser. Sheila Cole makes the book a cliffhanger; at least in Annie's baby (Beatrice Sparks) we knew what the final decision would be. The book is just terribly unrealistic, and I think that some of todays more impressionable teenage girls would get the wrong idea by reading this book, n then to make matters worse its so bad they probably wouldn't finish it so they wouldn't see how life ends up when the baby's daddy bolts for the exit. Read at your own risk!

This book was so... idiotic. Who would honestly not know they're pregnant for 4 months? Val is a girl that gets pregnant at 15 and thinks "Oh yea, I'm getting married." When her boyfriend's parents "force him" to go to a boarding school she's all crushed and says that they'll still get married. WHAT A JOKE! This book had to be one of the worst I've ever read, I mean what kind of teenage who's having unprotected sex think they won't get pregnant? My sister read this and hated it because it's poorly written! Who would publish this book? If you want a book to make fun of, pick up this book.

I was just roaming around looking for a good book to read when i fell across this one. The cover really got me interested, so i checked it out. Then i picked this for a report due in one of my classes. From the book, it made me feel like i was actually Valerie, living in her life and the different events she had to go through. But i thought it could have ended a lot of better. I mean she didn't even have the baby, and all she did was start to play the violin again. How boring... it should have ended with a big event even though thats suposed to be in the middle. And the biggest event that really happened was when Peter left her to go to college. And you know that if you were Peter you would have visited her, called her, sent her more letters, i mean for god sake, she's pregnant with his child! There was alot of things that seemed so unrealistic. But in spite of all the things that could have been done to make the book better i think it still was good, it made me think. Think about the exact sitation that could very well happen to me. I am 17, i have had sex, and after reading this book and hearing ohter stories about pregnant teenagers, it made me realise. At one point... theres no point in doing it at all. But once you've done it, you know you're going to do it again, and i talk from experience, and we're just soon to be adults trying to fit in, but still thats no excuse. Some teens just have sex because they hear about their friends doing it, or their so lonely and desperate for love they go to all the wrong places. For some advice wait until you're in love, then theirs meaning behind it all. And to parents, just because you hear of your kids having sex or are invovled with someone doesn't mean you have to punish them for trying new things, because sometimes your kids are well prepared enugh to stand up and face peir pressure, ecspecially when its a friend.But anyways, I'm getting off the main point - The book, Its well put together and interesting, and makes you think about what could really happen to a girl so innocent.

It's a great book to read for a teenager. It teaches you to about the consequences of not using protection. I guess that the book caught my attention because I wondered what would happen if I were in that position. The author's writing style makes you want to keep reading the book and look for more of her books. I give it five starts because it was interesting, exciting and kind of sad.

This book was very reassuring during the preparation for our international adoption. The author shares her own experiences, provides many helpful tips and resources, and writes in a very friendly and encouraging way. I liked that this book helped to make this feel like a manageable journey, and was realistic without being too scary, unlike many other books about this topic. I would definitely recommend this book.

As a soon-to-be adoptive mother of a 20 month old girl I have not yet met, I have been asking myself so many questions - do I change her name? how much of the nursery do I prepare? will she be in a crib or toddler bed? what size is she? I was absolutely amazed to see a book that asked (and offered realistic advice) to just those same questions. This book is written by adoptive parents that found themselves adopting a child much older than they were expecting, a situation very common in international adoption, with delays, red tape, and miscommunication. The book provides easy to read, NON-PREACHING suggestion and advise for any parent adopting a slightly older child (the "tweens", between infancy and preschool age). Even those adopting a 4-5 year old child could still find useful information. Among all the books about raising adoptive children, this is the one that "spoke" to me the best, on my terms, about things -I- was concerned about. I have already recommended the book to others in my pre-adoptive circle, and will continue to do so. Definitely worth your time.

International adoption is too expensive to waste your money on a book like this. The author says that she tried to write a book about everything she wished she'd thought of before adopting a toddler - unfortunately, my impression is that she didn't think it through much at all. The book is full of helpful tidbits like if you are adopting a three year old, you might want to consider getting a toddler bed instead of a crib, or if you're feeling frumpy and stressed out with all the waiting, you could go shopping! Or maybe get some Glamor Shots taken! Seriously, most of the things in this book are either common sense (don't leave the kid alone in the bathtub) or just plain goofy (Glamor Shots, getting your hair bleached blond). If I had been able to flip through it at a bookstore, I never would have purchased it.

Oooo! I forgot! Bring a cute outfit for the child to wear when you take pictures!

My husband and I found this to be one of the best books we have read so far on adopting toddlers. We are adopting 2 from Russia, and not having any biological children, we have lots of questions. This book is simply fantastic. It gave us lists of what/how to prepare for our new arrivals, some info on the process we can expect in Russia, home safety, sizes we can expect them to be, etc. This was well worth the money. The book is written in a very conversational tone, so it is not difficult reading like some of the other books that focus on case studies. We were able to read it in just a couple of hours. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who does not have previous toddler childcare experience.

This book addressed many of the questions I had about the details of a toddler adoption (packing, nursery, etc.) It is written in a style that makes you feel like you are just talking with a good friend and was a quick read. The author reccomends Toddler Adoption, A Weaver's Craft for informatin about the more complicated issues of attachment and bonding, and I agree. Again, it is an excellent look at the details associated with adopting a toddler and preparing for their arrival.

the only reason that i read this sequel was because i committed to reviewing the first book and this book. enough is enough. the whole "fake pregnancy" of Jane's was sooo....um...dumb? and, wow (!!!), Jane finds an abandoned baby on the steps of a church. *rolls eyes* it can't get more contrived than that. :/

this author has enthusiasm, which i think is great - but she's not a chick lit author that writes books that i enjoy. and it has nothing to do with "values" - the story was just so contrived and i just wanted to throw a brick at Jane...dumb girl.

anyway, kudos to those of you that enjoyed it.

ok, i know lauren has done amazon shorts regarded to Jane Taylor, but I'm ready for another novel dealing with Jane! whatever lauren writes, i seem to love!

I read this one just after I read The Thin Pink Line ~~ and ahh! It's such a delightful book ~~ and this time, Jane Taylor has redeemed herself in my eyes!

In The Thin Pink Line, Jane faked a pregnancy for nine months and just at the end of the book, she discovered a baby lying on the steps of a church on Christmas Eve. She takes her home and names her Emma. She falls in love with her and set out to adopt her. She also comes clean with her friends and family about her fake pregnancy. In her desire to be the best possible mom to Emma, Jane even crashes a funeral of a black woman because Emma is black and she wanted to make sure that Emma would not miss out on her cultural background.

It is a wonderful story ~~ one that I can relate to as a mom! I love how she compares the playgroups between her sister's friends and her own friends (the daughter of the woman whose funeral she crashed ~~ they struck up a friendship). There are some not-so-gentle digs at moms who peruse the "What to Expect The First Year" as their holy bible ~~ and it's funny.

This is just a fun book ~~ delightful in every way and it made me laugh out loud several times. It's a great follow-up to Jane Taylor, now one of my favorite characters in chick lit! I hope to meet her again!

If you're looking for a fun book ~~ check this one out! Don't forget to check out The Thin Pink Line ~~ so you can get the background of this book ~~ they both are wonderful and hilarious together. They're great books to escape into!

1-20-06

This book, quite literally, made me sick. Reading it gave me a raging headache and bad stomachache and it sent my anxiety level sky-high. I'm still recovering.

This has got to be one of the most selfish chick-lit books ever written: and in this case I mean selfish on the part of the author, not just the character. From the very beginning, the author is unconcerned with the well-being of the child. A few platitudes about how Jane really loves Emma is enough.

But is it really? Do we actually find out much about social services, except for Jane's perception that it is awful, and her view that social workers are there to give her a hard time? Doesn't that sound like an abuser's perception of the helping professions? Oh those bureaucrats - they screw everything up - leave me alone!

sounds like at least a potential child abuser to me. I know there have been accusations of innocent parents, and they are horrendous, but - Emma is not Jane's child! Jane picked her up like she might have picked up a cat and decided to keep her. In that context, blowing off social services has an entirely different meaning.

I mean, really. "The system" is so bad, alllegedly, that it's better to keep a black girl with a white *single* *mentally unstable* mother, and anyone who is perceived as challenging Jane is a meanie. For Christ's sake!

Yes, I'm sure "the system" can be quite bad indeed, but that is generally for older children who have an abuse/deprivation history and are, tragically, much less likely to be wanted. A healthy infant of whatever color is likely to be highly desirable; white infants more so, but black infants as well. That baby would have been snatched up by a loving, STABLE, two-parent home in an instant. Preferably a black home, but if not, then a loving white home. Any stable home. Not a home of a woman who is "slightly sociopathic."

If you want to read an extremely selfish book about how an unstable white woman who was at best ambivalent about motherhood before Emma (she states once that a big part of the attraction was that 'everyone else is doing it') gets to take home a healthy black infant, then this is the book for you.

Quite honestly, though, I think it verges on racism, because the message is that any white parent, no matter how bad, is better than even CONSIDERING having a black child in "the system," however briefly - even though there are almost certainly loving two-parent black families waiting - or mixed-race parents.

Let's reverse this. A white woman abandons a white infant at a church on Christmas Eve and an unstable black woman, who just faked a pregnancy for no particularly good reason, scoops up the baby. The black woman decides not to get the "system" involved because no one could love the white child the way she could. She has a coworker hack into the Social Services database to put her name top of the list. It is not seriously questioned why a single black woman is allowed to go home with a healthy white infant when there are many loving two-parent white families waiting to adopt.

Suddenly, the story wouldn't seem so cute anymore. I think that's because some people condemn black irresponsibility but excuse white irresponsibility, because black people are held to a higher standard for some reason. (One columnist said that she believed that it is now OK for black people to be exceptional, but it is not OK for black people to be average. She describes being around white majorities for the first time as an adult and being surprised at how average white people were - she had absorbed the stereotype of black inferiority that says that the average black person is not as good as the average white person).

If the author wanted to write a book condemning "the system," well, she should have written it about something other than a healthy infant who the system is most likely to help. Judging the system as so bad that hacking into their database to present oneself as qualified, when one is not, is just absurd. It is tantamount to saying that a mentally unstable white single mother is good for an infant because the single mother gets warm fuzzies when she cares for the baby. You know, that's really nice. What happens when Emma starts throwing temper tantrums and isn't so cute anymore? What about when she's a teenager?

I know that Jane has a relationship throughout this book, but I keep calling her a single mother because that's what she is when she finds the baby.

Geez. I sound like Dr. Laura, whom I hate. But I really think that chick-lit tends to be a selfish genre of writing. me me me me me me me. My clothes, my shoes, my job, my Prince Charming, my jewelry, my.....even the better books, such as those by Marian Keyes, tend to show the protagonists as self-focused. Rachel and her addiction. Etcetera. And when chick-lit extends into mommy lit, such as I Don't Know How She Does It, the self-focus continues. It's all me me me me me....my job, my husband, my childrem (whom I will see when I please and give them to my husband or my nanny when I don't care to see them).

This self-focus is of course intrinsic to chick-lit because it portrays women's lives as central, not children's lives. I certainly don't think that we should go back to the self-sacrificing mommy stuff. But, when chick-lit is so relentlessly me me me me me me me focused that it's portrayed as acceptable to hack into a social welfare database, and present oneself as a great mother, when one is not, then things are out of control.

The author is endorsing this by portraying Jane as sympathetic and denouncing those with very obvious criticisms as meanies, with a sweet wash of sentimentality over everything to justify it. Jane has her warm fuzzies caring for Emma, chick-lit is me me me me me, and that's all that's necessary.

I find these values to be disgusting.

I've never reviewed a book on here, but I was moved to write one to help other readers avoid this atrocity. I'm a fan of good chick-lit and can even enjoy some of the lesser quality writers at times, so I took a chance on "The Thin Pink Line" and "Crossing The Line" despite the one star reviews. After finishing the first book, I made myself read the second because I'd borrowed both books from the library and wanted to see if the author could somehow salvage the story.

Aside from the terribly improbable premise and predictability of the storyline, the writing itself was awful. It was disjointed and smacked of a 16-year-old trying to imitate Sophie Kinsella. I didn't know that the author was American, but a few pages into the first book, I knew something was up. The "British" didn't ring true and it became very distracting.

I despised all the "But, Emma is Black!" statements. I kept thinking, "So what?! Get over it, it's not that big a deal." Also, one reference to Stephen Triplecorn's package was too many--why, oh why, did it have to reiterated? Will it feature in the eagerly awaited third installment?

The heroine was thoroughly hateable. Who would even give this woman the time of day, not to mention lie to help her? I felt sorry for her friends and family because she must be an awful burden to bear. I disliked her so intensely that I started to detest the author--couldn't even look at her picture--because the heroine was hatched in her head. If you think that sounds unreasonable, read the books.