Adoption Books

great story line kids have read all the books in the series and really enjoyed them

My 11 yr old grandson, who is an avid reader, has read all 11 of the current Mysteries in our National Parks series. We purchased the first one while on a trip as a souvenir; subsequently I have purchased the remaining editions available and we are awaiting the 12th book. He is collecting the series, and plans to donate them to his elementary school's library at some point in the future. He has reread many of the issues. These books are excellent for the 10+ year old who is beginning to read "chapter" books.

This book, ninth in the "Mysteries in Our National Parks" series, is set in the Virgin Islands National Park. The authors deftly weave information about endangered coral reefs and hawksbill turtles into the story, as well as Caribbean culture and history: Jumbies (evil spirits), basket-making, sugar plantations, the 1733 slave revolt, Haitian Macoutes, and the smuggling of illegal aliens from Haiti to the Virgin Islands. A map of the park and an afterword by a marine ecologist are included. The story's politically-correct ending is somewhat unbelievable, but the story will appeal to middle grade students reading at approximately fifth-grade level.

This is truly one of the best books I have read on adoption and I have done quite extensive research on the subject. Babb states that "...were Congress to convene a congressional committee to investigate and document the effects of nonregulation of adoption on adoption clients, there is no doubt that the written testimony of those affected would fill volumes" (p. 190). My own international adoption nightmare would be one of the testimonies filling those pages. This book is the first I have read that is clear, concise, insightful, and cogent. While Babb is passionate about the issue of ethics in adoption, her arguments are not emotionally laden to the point of being banal. She clearly outlines the benefits to all parties of the adoption triad, as well as child welfare as a whole, were adoption to be professionalized and a code of ethics created with "...nationally accepted standards of behavior defining the professional's obligations to clients, colleagues, and society" (p. 191).

The one contention I have is some of the specific tenets of Babb's Recommended Model for Ethical Standards in Adoption. One of these is the professional's responsibility to the adoptee in which she states that one responsibility is to protect the child's right to grow up with his or her family of origin. In today's society there is a glorification, to the point of idolatry in my opinion, of the blood related family and calls for family preservation at all costs. While laudable efforts should be made to preserve or reunify the family, the ultimate responsibility of the professional, and society, is to protect the child and his or her innate right to a family. We need to approach family preservation with cautious optimism rather than reverence lest we fail to protect the child that we claim to work in the best interests of.

I have known the author, Dr. Babb, for many years, but I read this book only with an eye to its potential contribution to adoption in America. And its contribution is unique, important, and long overdue. Every adoption agency and attorney in this nation should apply the ethical standards outlined in this book, for the sake of all triad members. Adoption cannot hope to be viewed as a profession if it does not have and institute a code of ethics. Now, we have one.

L. Anne Babb, an adoption professional, has written a book that essentially concerns the issue of raising the ethical standards practiced by adoption practitioners in the USA. I write my review, as an adoptive parent who is somewhat familiar with the adoption system, and adoption practices.

Unquestionably, serious problems do exist. Some of these problems include practices that keep adoptees from being able to access family history and health information (the open records problem), the lack of regulation and standards that are imposed on adoption agencies and attorneys by the states in which they practice, outright dishonesty by certain practitioners, and the unavailability of appropriate counseling services for all triad members served by agencies. Babb reviews these problems and provides a history of adoption in America.

Babb also does a respectable job of reviewing different standards that have been compiled with respect to international adoption. She mentions standards developed by the Child Welfare League of America and the United Nations. As part of it, she reviews provisons of the CRC (Convention on the Rights of Children) that has recently been ratified by the US Senate.

She surveyed adoption professionals about different aspects of adoption practices and reports the conclusions of the surveys. I noted, interestingly, that none of her survey participants appeared to be from any private adoption agencies--no matter what their reputation was. However, all 50 of the state licensors of public adoption agencies were surveyed, as well as 22 "child welfare organizations", among these groups were the Concerned United Birthparents (a group which has historically been opposed to most of adoption) and the National Association of Black Social Workers, which in 1972, called interracial adoption "genocide". Given the fact that most adoption is done privately in the USA, it was not a surprise to me that many of the survey participants found fault with many aspects of adoption practices. One curious finding of the survey was how many of the surveyed participants when asked to define "best interest of the child" proceeded to articulate as their three most important criteria, subjects that dealt with the birth family keeping the child in the first place. The conclusions were interesting, overall, but the survey could hardly be called representative of adoption professionals, where no private agencies appear to have been represented. At times, survey answers appeared ridiculous. When asked what a reasonable adoption fee was, 27 survey participants, out of 73, felt that it should be less than....

The book is simply too idealistic. Granted reforms are needed in terms of open records, and laws that are blatantly one-sided. However, to give an example, Babb suggests as a standard for reform, that the costs of running adoption agencies be paid for through taxes, or some method other than through adoptive, and prospective adoptive couples. What she essentially advocates is the abolition of private adoption agencies and making adoption a state-run program. In my opinion, private adoption would become virtually impossible if it were paid for in this fashion. I won't digress on the advantages/disadvantages of abolishing private adoption, simply because it isn't going to happen. Private adoption providers and adoption attorneys, as well as conservative and heavily financed pro-adoption groups like the NCFA aren't going to allow it to happen. Such groups will lobby legislatures to prevent these changes and possess far more power than those who want them.

What I felt after finishing the book is that the author provided some excellent history and background information and addressed an important issue, changing unethical adoption practices. The book is well-written and its not hard to follow where the author is going. However, the author's cause, adoption reform, might be better served by being less idealistic and more practical. Reforms could be accomplished by imposing caps or limitations on fees charged by private agencies (that reflect real costs) and by forcing agencies to itemize to prospective adoptive parents exactly what their money is going for. Other reforms that are not radical, but would be helpful, include general support for open records laws for adoptees and simply mandating that all adoptions take place through a state licensed agency. (as opposed to facilitators and attorneys doing adoptions). This is a more modest agenda, which might ultimately be successful....

I liked the book- it is useful for helping children accept there are alternative families. I think it is important for children who DO NOT come from families like that to read them as much as it is for adopted ones. I wish the names mama linda and mama nessa did not come up so many times it becomes a little repetitive - especially since reading to children requires reading out loud and not to ones self you find your self repeating mama nessa and mama linda too many times. It would be nice if this could be edited for the next edition.

I thought the book was very sweet and caring for ANY family to enjoy. I am offended by the previous review which stated that homosexuals "target" families. Keep your stereotypes to yourself because homosexual families are no longer "unacceptable". Parents should welcome the chance to introduce these kinds of concepts to their children- they will probably encounter them more and more often in school anyway. This book makes a lovely companion to the equally wonderful And Tango Makes Three.

Felicia's Favorite Story is a gentle paperback by the author of "Heather Has Two Mommies," about a young girl who loves to be told how she was adopted by Mama Nessa and Mama Linda, and both her mamas loved her from the moment they lay eyes on her. Felicia's Favorite Story is a lovely and warm picture book illustrated by Adriana Romo and written by Leslea Newman especially for young children in alternative families.

Prior to reading "Finding Miracles" I had been reading a story similar to it (Called "Somebody's daughter") that followed the same genre but instead of it being about a Spanish (Hispanic, whatever) girl, it was about a Korean girl (who wasn't looking for her parents, but was wondering what her native country was like.) It `twas boring. Getting off that subject, I have to say that I enjoyed "Finding Miracles" very much. Written in 1ST -Person, I could really understand the emotions of the main character Milly Kaufman and her so-called struggle to learn what little she knew of her past and more when she traveled to her best friend's (Pablo) country despite the objections her family (especially her sister, Kate, who apparently was born in Pablo's country too) to her going.



The only problems I had with this story was the fact that Milly was such a cry-baby in this story; If her parents got angry at her, she would start crying while making up an excuse for herself at the same time (that was just unbelievable in terms of normal teenage reactions. It felt like she was trying to get her parents not to punish her).



And if she started sobbing about something -- mostly her native country she wanted to go to - everyone in her family - excluding her grandmother and other distant relatives- started crying. How unrealistic can you get with drama? If I started crying about something trivial like that, I declare my parents would tell me to hush up about it. All in all "Finding Miracles" was not a bad story. I enjoyed it very much as I have said before. (July 23d, 2005)

Finding Miracles is a refreshingly original story.
This is the first text that I have read from Alverez and I enjoyed the infussion of spanish in the text and the unpredictable plot. The characters are on the edge of normal but believable. Alvarez takes into account all of the culturaly diverse traits of each character.
The reason I rated the book 4 statrs instead of 5 is that I feel that there are alot of loose ends at the end of the book. Maybe there could be another book.
Joi

Julie Alvarez's ("How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accent") newest novel "Finding Miracles" is the story of Milly Milagros Kaufman, a typical all-American, half-Jewish high schooler with a not-so-typical secret: Milly was adopted as an infant from a war-torn Latin American country, where her adopted parents were serving in the Peace Corps. Milly has managed to successfully keep this info from her best friend Em, friends Jake and Dylan, and the community at large, because thinking about her sickly beginnings at an orphanage dredged up too many painful questions about why she was abandoned at the doorstep, who her birth parents may have been and if they "disappeared" during the dictatorship.

Milly is forced to confront her past when Pablo Bolívar joins her grade at high school. Pablo and his parents are refugees from Milly's home country (which is never named). One of his uncles was murdered, one of his brothers is a prisoner, and the other a revolutionary. Pablo asks Milly to help him with English in exchange for practicing Spanish, and one day makes a comment that changes Milly's life: he tells her that her eyes look like those of the mountain village Los Luceros. Also, Milly overhears an angry family discussion in which her unhappy grandmother Happy effectively writes her out of her will as she is not a "blood" relation.

Milly begins to slowly examine her feelings by confronting "The Box," a mahogany box containing her adoption papers, naturalization papers, two locks of hair (one light, one dark), a coin, and several photos, and in a brave speech running for a class office, tells the story of her adoption to the school at large. The second half of the novel chronicles Milly's journey to her homeland. When Milly's home country is freed from tyranny and democracy is slowly put into place, she takes up Mrs. Bolívar's invitation to visit, searching for traces of her shadowy past. Milly and Paco become more than just friends, bonded by the shared sadness of having lost loved ones in the war.

The novel does not have a "fairy tale" ending where everything works out perfectly, but the ending provided a satisfying conclusion to Milly's journey. Realistically written and beautifully described, Alvarez captures a girl torn between cultures, languages, and her past, and how Milly, now Milagros, makes all the pieces fit.

There is such a need for books that are applicable to families that adopt children beyond infancy. It is a shame that this is out of print. I was able to find it at the library, though.

As an adoptions professional I am continually searching for books that reflect the experience of children who are adopted after they have been removed from birth parents. Many of these children are between the ages of six and ten when adopted. Kids I have shared this book with have not wanted to give it back. It is a very useful tool in helping children understand adoption. Jennifer's journey from instability to having a forever family is not sugar coated but presents what is true for the majority of adopted children. I am very disappointed that it is out of print. I think this is a great loss for our kids.

This story is perfect for children who were adopted, particularly those adopted at an older age. The simple text is accompanied by photographs of the co-author, Jenny Jordan-Wong, who was adopted in the early 1990s at the age of eight.

Her life with her Mom and Dad, an inter-racial couple, is normal and loving in every way. Jenny plays and runs and reads like other kids. (She especially likes Nany Drew.) She takes piano lessons and plays Hula Hoop.

But she is different from other friends who want to know what it was like to be adopted. She explains that her biological parents had a lot of problems and could not take care of her. So when she was three, she moved to a foster family, a temporary family who "take care of you until you are adopted." Of course, Jenny knows that not everyone gets adopted.

Jenny has pictures of her second foster Mom and Dad, who took her in when she was 6. She still visits them, as she does the social workers who helped find her parents.

"It was scary meeting my new mom and dad," she writes. But after visiting on several weekends with her family, "We knew we wanted to be a family. They wanted to adopt me and I wanted to live with them. We would become a forever family."

The story also includes photos of the court session which made the adoption final and of Jenny's extended family--aunts, uncles, cousins, and her friends.

This book helps kids realize that others have been through the same thing, that new things take some getting used to, and that questions are okay. Alyssa A. Lappen

I became a foster parent only two months ago, and when I learned we would be receiving a new child into our home, I went out to find whatever I could in our local bookstores that would be of help. Boy, was I disappointed! Not only was there very little available, but what was there was mostly about adoption, not fostering, and mostly about ordinary fostercare, not treatment foster care. Thanks, Janet Clayton Glatz, for providing this wonderful guide. May Haversham, Austin, TX

As I began reading this book, I regretted not having it as a resource before and after my first placement of a troubled child. One has so many unanswered questions during this time that DHS, private agencies, or counselors do not address. As I read on, I found answers and support to some issues I was currently faced with, as well.

The book's foreword, which is noteworthy, was written by Daniel Hughes, Ph.D., a reactive attachment disorder specialist. He praises Glatz for the numerous factors that must be considered before parents bring a troubled child into their families, and for the critical issues that will arise after a child settles in.

I highly recommend this book to all parents considering fostering or adopting, or those already involved with troubled kids.

As an experienced foster parent myself, I didn't find much new here. But this book provides the basic, introductory info. I was hungry for as I awaited my first foster child. The author is an experienced foster parent and a competent writer.

At only 140 pp., this volume is superficial but covers a lot of ground; the 6 parts are titled: "The Child," "The Team Concept," "Life Suddenly Changes," "Coping With Negative Behaviors," "Working With Birth Families," and "Eighteen and Beyond."

I think the book is strongest in helping prospective adoptive and foster parents begin to imagine what they may be getting themselves into. I think the book was weakest in the area of how to provide a therapeutic home environment for the child, and the references to working as part of a team were unrealistic, from my experience.

Gay and lesbian parenting is a firecracker of an issue that won't go away even when gays and lesbians are free to raise children. This book is an intelligent examination of the subject, although as others have mentioned, it's not necessarily intended for the "lay" reader. Nonetheless, it's worth reading for anyone interested in the subject...

This book should really be titled "Lesbian and Gay Parenting" because the bulk of the book looks at the lesbian experience and the one chapters dealing with gays are looking at a book of fiction. The book is geared toward therapists I'd say because it talks a lot about cases and approaches for the therapist who is trying to help a lesbian couple decide to bring children into their family. Freud is relied on a bit too heavily for my tastes, but hey, I'm not the intended audience.

"Gay Parenting" examines the challenges and pleasures of parenting for lesbians and gay men. The essays focus on the psychological, legal, and political implications of gay parenting. A diverse range of contributors makes this a well rounded and thought provoking book.

I started reading this book about 2 months after the death of my spouse at the age of 53 and after almost 6 years of marriage and a horrific death from a nerve disease. I never really knew what grief was until his death. Nothing seemed to help until I read Candy's book. I never realized how cathartic such as death could be. Candy provides such an insight into how I needed to not only pass through the sorrow and pain but into a totally changed life. She helped me understand how many more facets there were to what I was feeling. This is a wonderful compassionate work. I know Her daughter must be smiling down from heaven in pride on her mother today.

My father died earlier this month, and in my quest to learn more about the grieving process I bought this book. I learned that everything my family did was wrong.

We should have had a funeral, we should have had an open casket, we should be prostrate with grief for weeks on end, etc. It took me a while, and some discussion, to realize that these ideas are principally American, and are foreign even to those of us in Canada. The very idea of an open casket gives me the shudders, yet she says it's important. Go figure.

I thought Lightner was right on in her acceptance of the grief of adult children, friends, siblings, other relatives, pet owners, etc. I appreciated her validation of my feelings that even though I was an independent adult I still felt abandoned, in a way. She also made me feel better about the way I was grieving, pointing out that the 'rules' of grieving aren't cut and dried, and that everyone handles grief in his or her own way. I appreciated that.

Candy Lightner's book was the most helpful guide through grief that I read after my own loss of a 14 year-old daughter in 1988. Here I am, 13 years later, still remembering passages from the book. A few months after my child's death, and feeling mired in a depression I had no idea how to lift, I bought or borrowed every book on grief I could get my hands on. This one stands out for its honesty and focuses on the fact that there are disparate ways of grieving, none of them wrong, and that those left to deal with the death of a loved one never "recover" as from an illness, but rather incorporate the experience into his or her life. The loss becomes, as one father described it (paraphrased) not a turbulent river, but a meandering stream that ebbs and flows through the remainder of one's life. I completely recommend this book, and in fact bought many copies which I have given away over the years. There are many interesting facts brought out in the book, for example that 80% of all marriages end in divorce after the death of a child. Although perhaps most helpful to those who have lost a child, the book has much to offer anyone learning to cope after the death of a spouse, relative, or dear friend.

I had the pleasure of seeing Victoria Roberts read "Halloweena" (in the presence of the author) to a group of children, many of whom I thought would be too young to appreciate it. The children were enchanted, one and all--and the parents were, too. Whatever the kids may have missed didn't bother them at all.

As Ms. Glassman said, this is a book about parenting, and it is a visual and narrative delight.

I came across this book and fell in love with the witty halloween humor and the cunning illustrations. Kids five and up will adore the fairy tale references. It's become a nightly bedtime story in our house! Each time, my son and I are able to find a new joke or detail in the zany illustrations to enjoy and laugh over. A wonderful story for parents and kids to share.

This is a cute book with clever, engaging text and detailed cartoonish illustrations that are full of the madcap antics of witch Hepzibah and Halloweena, her adopted human baby girl. When Hebzibah's sister Zillah drops the baby off on her, she tries everything to raise a respectable witchling and does pretty well. I liked this book a lot and found most of the humor to be fun and original. There is one page with severed arms and another where Hepzibah is baking Lady Fingers and (Yuk!) they actually ARE lady fingers. I could have done without these, but the homelife of Hepzibah and Halloweena is really charming in a wacky, witchy sort of way. I would say ages 10 and up will enjoy this book's humor. The text is full of tongue-in-cheek word play. There's a nice message about accepting people as they are and unconditional love. The ending is sweet. I think younger kids will miss some of the subtle humor and there are better Halloween stories for young kids, but for a slightly older readership, it's fresh and funny.

The most refreshing part was that Sharon's daughter was not bitter or angry. It was also nice to see a first mother who felt empowered by her choice. Yes, Sharon Fieker does admit that the time period during which she gave birth and surrendered her daughter for adoption was one that was biased toward single, unwed mothers ~ however, she does not consider her child to be "stolen" or accuse Marge, Lori's adoptive mother, of being a classist, elitist woman out to steal another woman's child. That is the sad trend that exists in the adoption world today ~ blame.

I gave it four stars because Fieker can be a little loquacious at times in the book. I also wish there was a little more of Lori's perspective included in her own personal words, rather than correspondence. Overall, an easy, uplifting, enjoyable read.

As a Mom of a daughter that we adopted at birth, I was interested in the author's feelings and memories from the point of choosing adoption until reuniting with her daughter. This book depicts a beautiful story that is refreshing in light of all the negetive adoption reunion stories that we hear in the media. I know that this book was written for birth moms and the author expresses her feelings about being a birth mom extremley well. That being the case, I still feel that this would be a wonderful book for adoptive parents and their extended families to read, as it gives you a glimpse into the emotions and feelings of birth moms and is a good way to begin thinking how you, as an adoptive parent, will handle the experience when your child wants to find their biological parents. It is a quick read and a heart warming one at that!

This was a very positive, spiritual look on adoption from a birthmother's point of view. It was a very easy, fast read. I enjoyed it. The only reason for the four stars and not five is, I wish the author would have written a little bit more about the feelings of loss & mourning... just a bit deeper. It is a huge part of adoption. Otherwise, it was a VERY positive look on the situation.