Adoption Books

I must say that I was really excited to read this book, which appeared to closely parallel my struggles. What I got, instead, was a sociologists' opinion about why adoption is a bandaid for a massive wound.

Her opinions leak onto every page, leading one to beleive that they're absolute truth. I was bummed. I hoped for so much more from an intellectual stand point, but all that I got was ... a lot of wishwash with very few answers.

And so, my two stars is because I was hoping that she would act human a little more than scientist. That she would reveal her mom side a little more than her career side. (I understand that both sides make up the writer, but very little was personal about this book.)

If you're hoping to have someone who reveals what life REALLY is in a cross cultural family, go somewhere else because this book has very little to do with day to day life within my family.

"So where do babies fit in? On the one hand, mothers produce babies. On the other hand, mothers "consume" babies: we use babies as objects to produce ourselves as mothers. The baby is like an accessory, the very important object we have to add to our homes to complete ourselves and our families." -pg 37

Ugh...

How about I just want to aide our world by loving just one more child?

Rothman skillfully weaves the knowledge of an academic with the passion of an adoptive parent in this marvellous book. This book is wise, personal, well researched, and often hilarious. Unlike many stories of adoptive parents, its never sappy. It sheds new light on the complicated questions of race and adoption; how white parents and black children fare with each other. Any one interested in adoption and contemporary race politics should read this.

You don't have to be either a sociologist or parent to find Weaving a Family a compelling read. Clear-eyed and unafraid, grounded in racial reality, Barbara Katz Rothman takes on some of the biggest issues in our society. Whole chapters are devoted to such topics as race labels and what they mean, motherhood and how it has changed in the last two generations, race matching in the adoption process, and the issues facing white women raising black children.

The centerpiece chapter, and the one that dictates the overarching metaphor of the book, is "Hair: Braiding Together Culture, Identity, and Entitlement." In this serious, sometimes humorous, and totally human chapter, Rothman recollects her acculturation into the African American community through her efforts to learn to care for her daughter's tight, curly hair. More than anything, learning to braid her daughter's hair helped Rothman gain respect among members of a "new" peer group, (mostly black) women mothering black children.

Given all its candor and insights, Weaving a Family is still most remarkable for Rothman's guiding voice. It is down-home, wise, and sometimes lyrical, as when she writes: "Victoria and I, a child and her mother, are at the bottom of a long strange funnel. There is the Eastern European anti-Semitism that brought my great grandparents to New York, where the confrontation with American racism bleached out their Semitic race and made my family white. Victoria got to where she is via the slave trade to the American South, and the Great Migration to the Northeast. . . . Ours is one story. But there are lots of families like mine."

As a recent adoptive (white) parent of an African-American infant girl, I found Barbara Katz Rothman's book, Weaving a Family, to be a godsend. In down-to-earth prose, but with the incisive thinking of the sociologist that she is, Katz Rothman takes a bold look at the complexities underlying her own transracial adoption (of her now-15-year-old daughter, Victoria, whom she adopted as an infant) and the phenomenon of transracial adoption in America today. While feeling no less her daughter's mother, she fearlessly explores and exposes the cultural ironies of transracial adoption, and the privilege and responsibility that imposes on those who enter such relationships.

This should be required reading for prospective parents considering transracial adoption. On one level, it's an easy read; the writing is magnificent. On another--the emotional level--it can be tough going, but absolutely necessary if the children of transracial adoptions are going to be well served by the arrangement, and by their families. Top rate...

While other books may have more statistics, this book is wonderful for getting an intro to the experience of considering adoption. Throughout the book are listed several online resources in particular that can give you any black and white information you feel you need, additionally. This is especially helpful, since that type of information has changed since the book was published. But, as someone trying to get an idea of what I am embarking on, this book was great. Very inclusive of different situations and possibilities. Recommended.

Richard Mintzer, Yes, You Can Adopt Carroll and Graf, 2003)

Another book that wants to be a one-stop shop for everything adoption-related. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's been done, and better (Falker's The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption still ranks as the top of the heap). Mintzer's strength here is in including a good number of snippets of interviews with families, giving a personal face to the experiences he talks about in the book. Once again, as with most adoption books, only half of this will apply to you, depending on whether you're doing domestic or international adoption, so you might want to give this one a look-over at the library before shelling out the dough. ***

I got this book because my wife and I are considering adopting a waiting child, and found it to be very informative, easy to read, and generally helpful. As an introduction to adoption, it was very good, covering a wide range of topics like different kinds of adoption and issues related to how adoptees grow up and so forth. I only give it four stars because it is a little brief, and could go into more detail on some of the topics, but it's still a very good, helpful book.

Richard Mintzer has written a book that will help
perspective adoptive parents navigate the complexities and nerves surrounding the adoption process. He covers both domestic & international adoption, the home study process, precautions that should be taken, how to evaluate an agency, and even the emotional issues that some couples face when deciding to form their family through adoption. He writes with compassion and sincerity, and he writes from his own experience!!

I had read this book many years ago and in 1975 my sister had contacted the DeBolts and ultimately was able to adopt my niece. My niece is 32 now and just this past weekend got married!

The book was a wonderful book of courage and shows how deeply we can love others. What an inspiration!

This is the story of the Debolt family, which adopted a large number of handicapped or otherwise challenged children, and enabled the kids to achieve beyond most people's expectations through tough love, diligence, and hard work.

I was given this book some years ago when I was in the hospital because of an injured knee. I recall lying there feeling sorry myself and being a little miserable to my wife because of being on my back. Did this story ever snap me out of that mood. It is a story I have never forgotten and have mentioned it on many occasions to my friends. Even to this day when things aren't going the best, I believe God makes me think of the family in this story and it still makes me thank God for how He has taken care of me.

Touching on a current, pervasive, yet unfamiliar subject, the authors bring to light the intricacies of the adoption triad and the difficulties faced by all involved. From an adoptive parent's perspective, the nature of the relationships can be complicated. With the proper communication mechanisms, whether records are sealed or open will have little impact on the individuals involved and, I think that area has not been addressed in the book. However, that is not to say it is unworthy of reading. Those who are not members of the triad, or object to adoption, cannot regard this book with true sincerity and those involved can achieve a better understanding of all parties invovled.

This is one of the finest books ever written on the subject of adoption. Reading this book, in my opinion, is one of the best gifts that any adoptive parent could give to their child or to themselves. The insights provided by the authors are invaluable in helping adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents alike understand the exquisitely unique and complex issues that adoption "triad" members face throughout their lives. This book dispels a lot of commonly held beliefs and myths about adoption, and provides a sober look at the reality of what it means to be an infertile parent, or a beholding adoptee; and it addresses the myriad of expectations that inevitably lead to hurt and disappointment. Armed with the knowledge and insights revealed in this book, adoptees and adoptive parents can forge a happier life together; and birthparents will find comfort in knowing that others understand their sacrifices. As a reunited birthfather and an advocate for better communications between adoption triad members, I highly recommend this book. Buy it ... it will change your life!

The stories contained in this book provide further reasoning for outlawing adoption altogether, although the authors mean to support the open records movement. They are certainly accurate in pointing out that, where adoption is concerned, a change is necessary. Unfortunately, their alterations are too minor to solve most of the problems adoption creates. This book would be good reading for anyone who has recently begun to accept that adoption is not a perfect (or even remotely GOOD) solution for unplanned pregnancy.

I read this book and fell in love with it. Couldn't put it down! It is a wonderful book for parents who are in the process of international adoption and for their families who want to know and feel what they are going thru.

No wonder Patty Dann's memoir of adoption reads like a novel--she's a novelist! She wrote that movie MERMAIDS that Cher and Winona Ryder and Cristina Ricci were in. You can't put The Baby Boat down; you root for the characters; and you're choked up in some passages, smiling through others. The Baby Boat is a pleasure to read, and it also shows that courage and patience can pay off. Their new baby is a lucky little person, and I've given this book to other couples who are beginning the odyssey of adoption.

This book provides an entertaining and informative look inside the world of international adoption. Written in journal format, it gives the reader insight which could only be obtained through a personal memoir. There are moments of great hilarity as well as great sadness. But the story has a happy ending, and gives a positive view overall of the adoption process. With so much negative press about adoption in general, this was a breath of fresh air!

This is a delightful book. I read it aloud to my 19 month old (adopted) daughter regularly, as one method of gently familiarizing her with life stories similar to her own. The pictures are sweet, and I like the mix of races, countries, and different situations. Highly recommended.

I really enjoyed using this with a second grade class becauseitexplores the diversity of modern families. It is a positive book thatshould be used in a family unit. END

Being a Single Adoptive Mom-to-be awaiting a child from China, I absolutely loved how this book explored the broader meaning "Family". It provides explanations in terms that a child can comprehend, that single-parent families and cross-cultural families are normal and loving environments. Thank you, Virginia Kroll, for a wonderful synopsis of the 21st Century Family!

What an incredible interweaving of lives and cultures! Leslie Gould writes with amazing fluidity and a depth of understanding of the painful yet joyful emotions involved in adoption, as well as the contrasting elements of culture in a prosperous America and a war-torn and poverty-stricken Vietnam. And yet, with all the differences in lifestyle, the author manages to bring about a meeting of the hearts that culminates in lives that are changed forever.

Having adopted from Vietnam, this book was so real. But even for those who have not adopted, the story really helps one see the paradox of adoption, a child given up by a birth mother, yet adopted by a forever family. I couldn't put the book down and it brought all the sights, sounds, and smells back from Vietnam.

In 1975, ten years old American Genevieve learns that her mother died in a war related plane crash in Viet Nam while trying to adopt a child. At about the same time, not that far away, the civil war destroys the family of seven years old Vietnamese Lan when her brother, a Viet Cong soldier, drives them out of their home.

Years later partially in homage to her mother, infertile Gen accompanied by her spouse Jeff come to Viet Nam to adopt. Though she detests doing so, an impoverished Lan gives up two of her children for adoption so they have a chance for a better life. Separately impacted by the war, Lan and Gen will soon meet with both still trying to make sense out of what happened to their families back in 1975.

BEYOND THE BLUE is an intriguing tale of two women from differing backgrounds co-joined by family events in Viet Nam almost two decades earlier. The story line follows the preadolescents as they grow up in radically dissimilar environments, but the tragedies of 1975 haunting both of them until they converge as adults. Ironically though quite realistic, the pace shows down when Gen and her husband struggle through delays, detours and unnecessary impediments caused by the unsympathetic Communist government, which in turn adds plenty of realism. Leslie Gould writes a strong two women character study that provides her audience with a fine story that nurtures hope in the future.

Harriet Klausner

Arun really wants a little sister. His best friend, Michael, has one and even though Michael isn't that impressed by the experience, Arun thinks having a baby sister would be great. He tells Michael, "In India, where my dad was born, sisters tie shiny bracelets on the wrists of their brothers. The bracelets are called rakhi too, just like the holiday. Brothers and sisters promise to be good to each other, and everyone eats special sweets."

Arun soon finds out that he will have a baby sister. Mom and Dad are adopting a baby girl, Asha, from India. But the wait and the papers and the regulations are excruciating. Arun, in the meantime, turns eight and celebrates his birthday without Asha. The family even celebrates Asha's first birthday without her. Arun makes do by fashioning the best paper airplane he's ever created for his sister and placing it on a shelf in her room.

Finally, Arun tells us, "a few weeks later, on a sticky-warm Saturday, I find an envelope from India in the mailbox." It's the letter. "We help Dad get ready for his long trip. I write colorful letters--forward, backward, upside down--on the folded wings of the paper plane I've been saving for Asha. I tuck it into Dad's suitcase."

"Bringing Asha Home" is a beautiful adoption story from a brother's point of view. Jamel Akib's illustrations are warm, friendly, and accessible. I hope that "Bringing Asha Home" will be read outside the adoption community, however, because it's a universal story about the hopes of a boy and his family.

"Bringing Asha Home" is great read-aloud choice for children ages 4-9.

Wonderfully written by Uma Krishnaswami and deftly illustrated by Jamel Akib, Bringing Asha Home is a story for young readers ages 5 to 9 and set at the time of Rakhi, a Hindu holiday which is quite special for brothers and sisters. An only children, Arun greatly desires to have a sister to share Rakhi with and his parents are hoping to adopt a little girl. But first they must all struggle with getting governmental approval to have a little girl named Asha join their family from halfway around the world. Bringing Asha Home is a warm and joyous story that would grace any school or community library picturebook collection.

The Plot: Arun's family adopts a baby girl from India.

The Good: The story is framed by the Hindu holiday Rakhi, a holiday that is about brothers and sisters. Arun wishes he had a sister so that he could celebrate Rakhi. A few months later, he finds out the family is going to adopt a little girl from India, the country where Arun's father was born. The story ends with the baby, Asha, (now about one years old) arriving just in time for Rakhi. It's a holiday I was unfamiliar with; but it's a perfect holiday to celebrate children becoming siblings, and it's also one that will be easily understood by children hearing the story.

I love that this story was framed by this holiday; and I love that the pictures and text show a family that celebrates a diverse heritage. Rakhi is celebrated; during October, there is a jack-o'-lantern on a table. The pictures, as well as the text, show a biracial family. (Truth be told, I didn't pick that up until my second reading, when I noticed that Dad's country of origin was mentioned but not Mom. The Lee & Low website confirmed this. I like that it's not a "hit you over the head with it" part of the story.)

This is a great story about adoption, particularly international adoption, and the long wait many families face in waiting for their adoptive child. "When you adopt a baby from one country and bring her to another, there are many governmental forms to fill out and laws to follow," Dad says. "It takes time." (I am so good. I am not making any snarky comments about international adoptions and certain celebrities.) While the actual process takes a long time, Bringing Asha Home shows a family taking the steps to welcome the baby into their hearts long before the child is brought into their home: a room is prepared, Arun makes her presents of paper airplanes, and a birthday party is held.

I read this book about 12 years ago when I was going through infertility. I was very distraught and reading what these two women were going through help me to not feel so alone. I've since adopted a beautiful daughter and had a surprise biological daughter 7 years later. I went through almost everything these two women went through emotionally and physically. I have always remembered this book fondly.

I am so sorry to see this excellent book is out of print. I loaned my copy to a woman I'm counseling and she said it was the best book she's ever read on surviving infertility. Well worth searching out, and I'll contact the authors to urge their publisher to bring it back! Carol Frost Vercollone, infertility counselor & author of Helping the Stork.

I am a birthmother. This collection of letters has opened my eyes to the pain of infertility. This book has made it possible for me to understand that the pain infertile women have is exactly opposite from the pain I have, which coincidently, makes us very similar. I only wish I could write to the two women who wrote it.

On the very day in August, 1986, the author gets bit by a water moccasin in Mississippi while on a canoe trip, Stephen Rondell was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with multiple disabilites. As a nurse, she found him two years later and spent the next eleven years willing him to live.

The emergency room doctor had told her that fateful day that "God must want you for something." Indeed, He did. She helped this disabled young child to grow and develop into a human being. He had celebral palsy and epilipsy, along with other life-threatening illnesses. There is a person here named David who could have been her Steve.

She adopted him and helped him learn how to cope and get around in this hectic world of ours. She had an endorsement for this informative and needed book by Patch Adams whose work with all kinds of disability, from physical to mental, as a work of art. I found a person four years ago dressed as a clown complete with Patch's trademark big red nose who told me that he actually works with Dr. Adams in his travels and work with children. I wa upset by a scene in the movie, but he told me that was pure Hollywood added to get movie goers, not the truth.

This is a story of miracles of faith, hope and love. It shows how a group of dedicated professionals work together to accomplish much more than any single individual ever could. Chrissy has been a nurse for twenty-five years and is now an expert advocate for human rights. Stephen's story will inform parents of disabled children and encourage all who go through this kind of stress that it is all worth the effort and strife.

It is the story of a child's lifelong struggle with serious disabilities; his sweet spirit enrishes all who reads this revealing account in the life of Steve and Crissy. It can be used as a primer for caregivers of children everywhere.

A powerful and touching book, showing this author's unconditional love for her child. Superbly written. Highly recommended.

"Eagle Doctor" is a truly wonderful book. I instantly felt the extraordinary love and compassion that the author has for her son. This book pulled at my heartstrings from the very first page, like no other book has been able to accomplish. I was unable to tear myself away from Stephen's incredible stories; making me feel like I was almost a part of his life. A superb book for all ages to enjoy, full of inspiration & the joys of the Miracle of Life.